Who the fuck came up with Kylie Jubur?
My bad, that's just what it says here.
Roast.
That's not my fucking name either.
Basically, my voice is fucking trashed.
So I took last week off because uh, life got busy and I have tempted to take this
week off as well.
Because I can barely fucking talk.
I don't know if it's coming across like I can barely fucking talk.
But I can barely fucking talk and I don't even know why.
The only thing I can figure and I was talking to Duchess about this from the Boomer
Bunker.
The only thing I can figure is that I had to go on a uh, little bit of a work trip this
week.
And I drive a 1994 F-150.
That is beautiful and I love it.
But it's uh, it's not restored.
It's not one of those fancy fucking restored vehicles that, you know, people only bring out
when the sun shining.
It's my daily driver.
And consequently and unsurprisingly at 31 years old, it doesn't have a fucking air conditioner.
So I'm driving in the sweltering heat and when I have to get on the phone, I'm basically
screaming into my fucking earbuds trying to be heard and I think I fucking ragged, out my vocal
chords and I can barely talk.
But if I put this off any longer, we're gonna be looking at two weeks without an episode
of Missing Through Up Radio.
And both of you who have fucking subscribed.
Thank you by the way.
I know you would be horribly, horribly disappointed if you even noticed.
And I don't know how long my voice is gonna hold out, so we'll just do this as long as
we can.
One of the things that fucking drives me crazy are podcasters who podcast about podcasting.
And that's uh, that's kind of what I'm gonna do today, unfortunately.
But I think by and large, your average fucking run of the mill every day, garden variety,
fucking standard issue podcaster has an overinflated
inflated sense of their own importance to society.
I've consumed a whole lot of podcasts over the last couple weeks and I've gotten away
from the big names, right?
I'm no longer listening to Joe Rogan.
I've completely turned my back on any fucking celebrity who also dicks around in podcasting,
you know, in between coke binges.
And I've started consuming podcasts by your average everyday meatball who have come to
destroy.
And what I've found more often than not are jiffy loop text who feel like they're reach
as much farther than it actually is.
This show free, keep this podcast free, keep this YouTube channel free, keep this production
free.
And they almost always talk about how expensive it is to do what they do.
I don't really fucking get it.
It is makes me think, okay, well, maybe I'm just fucking doing this wrong.
Maybe if I'm not spending a lot of money on this podcasting thing, I'm not fucking doing
it right.
I have a computer sitting in front of me that I'm recording into that was a MacBook from
2008.
Okay, so it was expensive almost two decades ago.
I have a sure MV51 that I talked into that was $200, five years ago.
I have a parasonist studio monitor headphones that were $85, 10 years ago.
I pay $15 a month deliberated syndication in order to host and distribute this podcast.
I do all of my production and all of my editing myself.
I do all of my imaging and branding and shit myself at no out of pocket expense.
So how are these motherfuckers?
Encuring all of this cost that they say they're incurring.
You have to buy my fucking signature series coffee mug in order to help me keep this
show free.
I don't want to do a subscription service, but God damn it.
If you don't buy these coffee mugs or these bumper stickers, I'm going to have to charge
you to listen to my fucking dog shit podcast.
It doesn't make sense.
And this is why I say I feel like I'm running into your average everyday fucking jiffy loop
meatball podcaster who has an overblown sense of their own importance to society.
You go ahead motherfucker and take your podcast, your free fucking podcast that you've developed
a pretty decent following for and you start trying to charge people to listen to your
horse shit and watch your fucking audience dwindle because you're not that important to
them.
You're not good enough at this to fucking warrant paying even 99 cents a month.
Now having said that, that brings me to the reason that I sat down and I'm trying to
fucking champion through this shitty throat thing that I have going on.
I don't really have the fucking throat or whatever.
I've also heard podcasters say buy my fucking coffee mugs or whatever in order to allow
me to keep this podcast ad free.
Now that's fucking different.
But in the case of my hosting service liberated syndication, they have opened up advertising
to generate some fucking ad revenue.
That's a different scenario entirely because letting a company put advertising on your
podcast is really kind of hands off with the potential to actually make a little bit of
money.
I thought about it for about eight seconds and I realized it's not for me.
And let me tell you why two reasons.
The first reason pretty quick, pretty simple, pretty straightforward and I think probably
the most important.
What I do here is not worth sitting through two minutes of ads to get to.
And it really is that simple
why would liberated syndication open up my fucking podcast for people to place ads on.
It just tells me they've never listened because what fucking advertiser is going to want
their business tied in any way shape or form to the fucking shit that I do here.
It's preposterous to even consider pizza hut advertising on the front side of this fucking
podcast and God fucking forbid.
They do that thing like they do to all these other fucking podcasts that I hear and you
get an ad at the beginning and then a few ads throughout the fucking episode.
Can you even fucking imagine like if you fucking drop an ad in the beginning of Miss
and Throw Radio, let's just say okay, well, we're going to do the intro here.
Here we go.
We're going to mock this out.
Hit the introduction.
Broadcasting to the world from high on top of your mom.
I'm just in the room.
Radio broadcasting to the world.
Ariac Jackson may not be my real name, but they got one thing right.
I am high on top of your mom.
This is for a radio starts now.
And then it goes right into the ad.
It's typically how that goes, right?
Okay, cue the ad.
Howdy y'all.
My name's Piggy Pig Bottom and I'm the owner of Piggy Pig Bottom's Pork Rhyne Plaza
and Non-Cosher Deli, Child Day Cared in Door Fire and Range.
Come on down here, Route 87 and Freeberg.
For all your goddamnit pork rhyne needs and we offer services that our competitors simply
do not.
You drop your kid off in the child day care.
You go squeeze off a few rounds at the indoor fire and range.
Come peruse the largest selections of pork rhyne in the Midwest and also take a day off
with that.
What's the cost of it?
Who is it?
What's the cost of it?
What's the cost of it?
bits, now we've got a problem because they dropped them in at random. You ever
noticed that? The ones who throw a couple ads on the beginning of a podcast are
not so offensive, but the ones who just fucking drop them in in the middle of
content, that's fucked up. They do that shit on YouTube all the time. And I've
started noticing it in podcasts as well. They'll be in the middle of a fucking
topic doing their thing and then all of a sudden kaboom advertising. Not even a
hey, hold on, pause that fucking conversation real quick, we got to go pay
some bills. Okay, cue the ads. None of that. No, they just drop right in the
middle of a fucking sentence and then you come back out of that fucking sentence
and the conversation picks back up. That would not fucking work for this
fucking podcast. But first of all because the ads are not curated, I would have
no say in what advertising they choose to put in the middle of my fucking air
quotes show. So I could be in the middle of a bit and in mid sentence, they just
fucking boom, domestic violence is not funny. Domestic violence, it's not cute.
Domestic violence is not a punchline or it's not something that we talk about
around the water cooler. Domestic violence is a serious, serious topic and one
that we cannot take lightly join us on July the 17th as we take to the streets
in every major city to bring awareness to the epidemic of domestic violence.
And then you fucking rejoin the show mid sentence where I very well could be
saying something like, well, then I held a head underwater and we took turns
kicking her in the tits. You see what I'm saying? These motherfuckers that
liberated syndication have obviously never listened to this fucking show. They
take my $15 a month and they they fucking throw it up on the inner webs they
distribute it and they host it as fucking promised. Yeah, none of you are doing
content worth paying for and most of you are doing content not worth listening to
advertisements to get to. I'm on that fucking list. None of us are doing anything
worth actually fucking making any money on. None of us have the right to make
any money on this. And I maintain that liberated syndication would be doing
their advertisers a
just look on YouTube under gospel church of the Lord. And that's where you'll find us every
Sunday we live stream on YouTube at 10 a.m. Join us won't you? Gospel church of the
Lord. Well, God damn God damn and God's God damn and God damn it and God damn it and
Mary was only a virgin if you don't count anal. You see what I'm saying? It's not
gonna fucking a fucking workout. It's only going to embarrass liberated syndication.
It's really gonna piss off the advertisers who place their trust in my hosting and
distribution service to make sure that their dollars are well spent and it's only going
to exacerbate public perception that I'm a complete fucking asshole advertising on this
fucking podcast is a terrible idea. Almost sexuality isn't just a sin. It's also
really detrimental to your health. Join us for our online webinar at 9 p.m. Tuesday
night where we talk about the negative health effects of acting on your homosexual
urges. This advertisement brought to you by down with the gaze.
Back to miss. Listen, I'm not gonna get gay but I was in college. I never sucked
sucked a dick but I definitely roll one around in my mouth for a while. You know what I'm
saying? Hi, I'm psychoanalyst and noted therapist John Schwab and I want to talk to you about
my new book series that's going to be hitting a bookstore near you on August 26th. I go
into detail about the words we use and the depth and weight that words have on us every
day. Pick up my book entitled stop calling people cunts. Read the book and understand
that the words you use do matter. Words matter everything matters and anything that's funny is
funny at someone else's expense.
at a bookstore near you. Good morning, cunts. Advertising on Missing Throat Radio was a fucking
awful idea. No one should do it and the businesses that would knowingly advertise on Missing Throat
Radio, I'm not fucking sure I want them on here anyway. Just fucking don't. Okay? Liberated syndication.
Mine I suggest you actually do a little bit of research before you start bundling podcasts into
attractive packages to sell to advertisers. This one should not be in the bundle. I'm sorry I'm
gonna have to tap out. I can't fucking do it. My voice is almost completely gone. Just getting
through this last what? 512 15 minutes something like that is absolutely wrecking my fucking throat.
I I attempted to stop being a bitch and just get through it. I think I've only made it worse. I may
end up not counting this as a full episode of Missing Throat Radio because I think we're only
, I'm getting through one segment. So we might just rename this episode 5.5. Instead of 6. I don't know it's almost laughable by my fucking coffee mug
I don't know it's almost laughable by my fucking coffee mug in order to keep this fucking podcast free. You know I'm teetering on the edge of placing an order with a company called
horrible designs to have my logo my actual logo not the bullshit that I have on your podcasting app right now.
I have some really nice logos that I've put together but the problem is they're too fucking wide to conform to
what I have. I don't know I can't fucking explain it. They're just too fucking wide. They're too wide for
the podcast app upload your fucking logo slash picture here field and I don't know how to
fucking scale them down but anyway I am on the verge of placing an order for t-shirts and stuff like that for my production company which is called
European Canon productions and a few shirts for Missing Throat Radio that I'm just gonna give away to a few people that I know and stuff like that.
I'm just I just don't see it but anyway if you know ... I