WEBVTT 00:00:32.480 --> 00:00:34.480 Who the fuck came up with Kylie Jubur? 00:00:34.480 --> 00:00:36.960 My bad, that's just what it says here. 00:00:36.960 --> 00:00:39.820 Roast. 00:00:39.820 --> 00:00:43.620 That's not my fucking name either. 00:00:43.620 --> 00:00:54.300 Basically, my voice is fucking trashed. 00:00:54.300 --> 00:00:59.500 So I took last week off because uh, life got busy and I have tempted to take this 00:00:59.500 --> 00:01:01.700 week off as well. 00:01:01.700 --> 00:01:03.180 Because I can barely fucking talk. 00:01:03.180 --> 00:01:07.180 I don't know if it's coming across like I can barely fucking talk. 00:01:07.180 --> 00:01:10.140 But I can barely fucking talk and I don't even know why. 00:01:10.140 --> 00:01:14.540 The only thing I can figure and I was talking to Duchess about this from the Boomer 00:01:14.540 --> 00:01:15.540 Bunker. 00:01:15.540 --> 00:01:21.140 The only thing I can figure is that I had to go on a uh, little bit of a work trip this 00:01:21.140 --> 00:01:22.300 week. 00:01:22.300 --> 00:01:25.940 And I drive a 1994 F-150. 00:01:25.940 --> 00:01:28.220 That is beautiful and I love it. 00:01:28.220 --> 00:01:30.180 But it's uh, it's not restored. 00:01:30.180 --> 00:01:35.340 It's not one of those fancy fucking restored vehicles that, you know, people only bring out 00:01:35.340 --> 00:01:37.140 when the sun shining. 00:01:37.140 --> 00:01:39.140 It's my daily driver. 00:01:39.140 --> 00:01:45.260 And consequently and unsurprisingly at 31 years old, it doesn't have a fucking air conditioner. 00:01:45.260 --> 00:01:49.140 So I'm driving in the sweltering heat and when I have to get on the phone, I'm basically 00:01:49.140 --> 00:01:54.020 screaming into my fucking earbuds trying to be heard and I think I fucking ragged, out my vocal 00:01:54.020 --> 00:01:56.940 chords and I can barely talk. 00:01:56.940 --> 00:02:03.100 But if I put this off any longer, we're gonna be looking at two weeks without an episode 00:02:03.100 --> 00:02:04.940 of Missing Through Up Radio. 00:02:04.940 --> 00:02:07.820 And both of you who have fucking subscribed. 00:02:08.540 --> 00:02:09.820 Thank you by the way. 00:02:09.820 --> 00:02:15.020 I know you would be horribly, horribly disappointed if you even noticed. 00:02:15.020 --> 00:02:19.100 And I don't know how long my voice is gonna hold out, so we'll just do this as long as 00:02:19.100 --> 00:02:20.780 we can. 00:02:20.780 --> 00:02:27.820 One of the things that fucking drives me crazy are podcasters who podcast about podcasting. 00:02:27.820 --> 00:02:32.500 And that's uh, that's kind of what I'm gonna do today, unfortunately. 00:02:32.500 --> 00:02:37.700 But I think by and large, your average fucking run of the mill every day, garden variety, 00:02:37.700 --> 00:02:38.540 fucking standard issue podcaster has an overinflated 00:02:38.540 --> 00:02:45.540 inflated sense of their own importance to society. 00:02:45.540 --> 00:02:50.540 I've consumed a whole lot of podcasts over the last couple weeks and I've gotten away 00:02:50.540 --> 00:02:52.540 from the big names, right? 00:02:52.540 --> 00:02:55.060 I'm no longer listening to Joe Rogan. 00:02:55.060 --> 00:03:01.460 I've completely turned my back on any fucking celebrity who also dicks around in podcasting, 00:03:01.460 --> 00:03:03.860 you know, in between coke binges. 00:03:03.860 --> 00:03:09.340 And I've started consuming podcasts by your average everyday meatball who have come to 00:03:09.340 --> 00:03:10.620 destroy. 00:03:10.620 --> 00:03:15.180 And what I've found more often than not are jiffy loop text who feel like they're reach 00:03:15.180 --> 00:03:17.900 as much farther than it actually is. 00:03:33.860 --> 00:03:40.900 This show free, keep this podcast free, keep this YouTube channel free, keep this production 00:03:40.900 --> 00:03:41.900 free. 00:03:41.900 --> 00:03:46.700 And they almost always talk about how expensive it is to do what they do. 00:03:46.700 --> 00:03:49.460 I don't really fucking get it. 00:03:49.460 --> 00:03:53.820 It is makes me think, okay, well, maybe I'm just fucking doing this wrong. 00:03:53.820 --> 00:03:57.660 Maybe if I'm not spending a lot of money on this podcasting thing, I'm not fucking doing 00:03:57.660 --> 00:03:58.660 it right. 00:03:58.660 --> 00:04:03.260 I have a computer sitting in front of me that I'm recording into that was a MacBook from 00:04:03.260 --> 00:04:05.260 2008. 00:04:05.260 --> 00:04:09.780 Okay, so it was expensive almost two decades ago. 00:04:09.780 --> 00:04:16.060 I have a sure MV51 that I talked into that was $200, five years ago. 00:04:16.060 --> 00:04:22.540 I have a parasonist studio monitor headphones that were $85, 10 years ago. 00:04:22.540 --> 00:04:31.060 I pay $15 a month deliberated syndication in order to host and distribute this podcast. 00:04:33.260 --> 00:04:38.660 I do all of my production and all of my editing myself. 00:04:38.660 --> 00:04:45.500 I do all of my imaging and branding and shit myself at no out of pocket expense. 00:04:45.500 --> 00:04:48.340 So how are these motherfuckers? 00:04:48.340 --> 00:04:52.700 Encuring all of this cost that they say they're incurring. 00:04:52.700 --> 00:04:57.000 You have to buy my fucking signature series coffee mug in order to help me keep this 00:04:57.000 --> 00:04:58.200 show free. 00:04:58.200 --> 00:05:01.180 I don't want to do a subscription service, but God damn it. 00:05:01.180 --> 00:05:05.940 If you don't buy these coffee mugs or these bumper stickers, I'm going to have to charge 00:05:05.940 --> 00:05:10.020 you to listen to my fucking dog shit podcast. 00:05:10.020 --> 00:05:11.420 It doesn't make sense. 00:05:11.420 --> 00:05:15.980 And this is why I say I feel like I'm running into your average everyday fucking jiffy loop 00:05:15.980 --> 00:05:23.100 meatball podcaster who has an overblown sense of their own importance to society. 00:05:23.100 --> 00:05:29.540 You go ahead motherfucker and take your podcast, your free fucking podcast that you've developed 00:05:29.540 --> 00:05:34.700 a pretty decent following for and you start trying to charge people to listen to your 00:05:34.700 --> 00:05:40.880 horse shit and watch your fucking audience dwindle because you're not that important to 00:05:40.880 --> 00:05:41.880 them. 00:05:41.880 --> 00:05:47.660 You're not good enough at this to fucking warrant paying even 99 cents a month. 00:05:47.660 --> 00:05:53.100 Now having said that, that brings me to the reason that I sat down and I'm trying to 00:05:53.100 --> 00:05:57.620 fucking champion through this shitty throat thing that I have going on. 00:05:57.620 --> 00:06:00.300 I don't really have the fucking throat or whatever. 00:06:00.300 --> 00:06:06.900 I've also heard podcasters say buy my fucking coffee mugs or whatever in order to allow 00:06:06.900 --> 00:06:10.860 me to keep this podcast ad free. 00:06:10.860 --> 00:06:13.380 Now that's fucking different. 00:06:21.240 --> 00:06:27.360 But in the case of my hosting service liberated syndication, they have opened up advertising 00:06:40.040 --> 00:06:42.360 to generate some fucking ad revenue. 00:06:42.360 --> 00:06:47.800 That's a different scenario entirely because letting a company put advertising on your 00:06:47.800 --> 00:06:54.280 podcast is really kind of hands off with the potential to actually make a little bit of 00:06:54.280 --> 00:06:55.280 money. 00:06:55.280 --> 00:06:59.680 I thought about it for about eight seconds and I realized it's not for me. 00:06:59.680 --> 00:07:02.320 And let me tell you why two reasons. 00:07:02.320 --> 00:07:08.440 The first reason pretty quick, pretty simple, pretty straightforward and I think probably 00:07:08.440 --> 00:07:10.160 the most important. 00:07:10.160 --> 00:07:15.160 What I do here is not worth sitting through two minutes of ads to get to. 00:07:15.160 --> 00:07:38.440 And it really is that simple 00:07:38.440 --> 00:07:51.520 why would liberated syndication open up my fucking podcast for people to place ads on. 00:07:51.520 --> 00:07:55.960 It just tells me they've never listened because what fucking advertiser is going to want 00:07:55.960 --> 00:08:02.200 their business tied in any way shape or form to the fucking shit that I do here. 00:08:02.200 --> 00:08:07.400 It's preposterous to even consider pizza hut advertising on the front side of this fucking 00:08:07.400 --> 00:08:11.040 podcast and God fucking forbid. 00:08:11.040 --> 00:08:14.960 They do that thing like they do to all these other fucking podcasts that I hear and you 00:08:14.960 --> 00:08:19.680 get an ad at the beginning and then a few ads throughout the fucking episode. 00:08:19.680 --> 00:08:23.880 Can you even fucking imagine like if you fucking drop an ad in the beginning of Miss 00:08:23.880 --> 00:08:27.360 and Throw Radio, let's just say okay, well, we're going to do the intro here. 00:08:27.360 --> 00:08:28.360 Here we go. 00:08:28.360 --> 00:08:29.360 We're going to mock this out. 00:08:29.360 --> 00:08:31.360 Hit the introduction. 00:08:31.360 --> 00:08:34.480 Broadcasting to the world from high on top of your mom. 00:08:34.480 --> 00:08:35.480 I'm just in the room. 00:08:35.480 --> 00:08:46.890 Radio broadcasting to the world. 00:08:46.890 --> 00:08:50.730 Ariac Jackson may not be my real name, but they got one thing right. 00:08:50.730 --> 00:08:53.090 I am high on top of your mom. 00:08:53.090 --> 00:08:56.330 This is for a radio starts now. 00:08:56.330 --> 00:08:58.050 And then it goes right into the ad. 00:08:58.050 --> 00:08:59.970 It's typically how that goes, right? 00:08:59.970 --> 00:09:00.970 Okay, cue the ad. 00:09:01.490 --> 00:09:02.250 Howdy y'all. 00:09:02.250 --> 00:09:06.770 My name's Piggy Pig Bottom and I'm the owner of Piggy Pig Bottom's Pork Rhyne Plaza 00:09:06.770 --> 00:09:10.850 and Non-Cosher Deli, Child Day Cared in Door Fire and Range. 00:09:10.850 --> 00:09:13.930 Come on down here, Route 87 and Freeberg. 00:09:13.930 --> 00:09:19.530 For all your goddamnit pork rhyne needs and we offer services that our competitors simply 00:09:19.530 --> 00:09:20.530 do not. 00:09:20.530 --> 00:09:22.890 You drop your kid off in the child day care. 00:09:22.890 --> 00:09:26.130 You go squeeze off a few rounds at the indoor fire and range. 00:09:26.130 --> 00:09:30.930 Come peruse the largest selections of pork rhyne in the Midwest and also take a day off 00:09:30.930 --> 00:09:40.490 with that. 00:09:40.490 --> 00:09:45.350 What's the cost of it? 00:09:45.350 --> 00:09:49.510 Who is it? 00:09:49.510 --> 00:09:52.670 What's the cost of it? 00:09:52.670 --> 00:09:54.650 What's the cost of it? 00:10:00.930 --> 00:10:06.650 bits, now we've got a problem because they dropped them in at random. You ever 00:10:06.650 --> 00:10:10.690 noticed that? The ones who throw a couple ads on the beginning of a podcast are 00:10:10.690 --> 00:10:15.530 not so offensive, but the ones who just fucking drop them in in the middle of 00:10:15.530 --> 00:10:19.610 content, that's fucked up. They do that shit on YouTube all the time. And I've 00:10:19.610 --> 00:10:24.250 started noticing it in podcasts as well. They'll be in the middle of a fucking 00:10:24.250 --> 00:10:31.530 topic doing their thing and then all of a sudden kaboom advertising. Not even a 00:10:31.530 --> 00:10:36.130 hey, hold on, pause that fucking conversation real quick, we got to go pay 00:10:36.130 --> 00:10:41.590 some bills. Okay, cue the ads. None of that. No, they just drop right in the 00:10:41.590 --> 00:10:44.850 middle of a fucking sentence and then you come back out of that fucking sentence 00:10:44.850 --> 00:10:49.150 and the conversation picks back up. That would not fucking work for this 00:10:49.150 --> 00:10:53.410 fucking podcast. But first of all because the ads are not curated, I would have 00:10:53.410 --> 00:10:58.690 no say in what advertising they choose to put in the middle of my fucking air 00:10:58.690 --> 00:11:02.970 quotes show. So I could be in the middle of a bit and in mid sentence, they just 00:11:02.970 --> 00:11:10.330 fucking boom, domestic violence is not funny. Domestic violence, it's not cute. 00:11:10.330 --> 00:11:15.170 Domestic violence is not a punchline or it's not something that we talk about 00:11:15.170 --> 00:11:21.450 around the water cooler. Domestic violence is a serious, serious topic and one 00:11:21.450 --> 00:11:28.170 that we cannot take lightly join us on July the 17th as we take to the streets 00:11:28.170 --> 00:11:35.370 in every major city to bring awareness to the epidemic of domestic violence. 00:11:35.370 --> 00:11:40.930 And then you fucking rejoin the show mid sentence where I very well could be 00:11:40.930 --> 00:11:45.530 saying something like, well, then I held a head underwater and we took turns 00:11:45.530 --> 00:11:52.070 kicking her in the tits. You see what I'm saying? These motherfuckers that 00:11:52.070 --> 00:11:55.970 liberated syndication have obviously never listened to this fucking show. They 00:11:55.970 --> 00:11:59.370 take my $15 a month and they they fucking throw it up on the inner webs they 00:11:59.370 --> 00:12:04.370 distribute it and they host it as fucking promised. Yeah, none of you are doing 00:12:04.370 --> 00:12:09.210 content worth paying for and most of you are doing content not worth listening to 00:12:09.210 --> 00:12:15.050 advertisements to get to. I'm on that fucking list. None of us are doing anything 00:12:15.050 --> 00:12:19.010 worth actually fucking making any money on. None of us have the right to make 00:12:19.010 --> 00:12:24.170 any money on this. And I maintain that liberated syndication would be doing 00:12:24.170 --> 00:12:33.090 their advertisers a 00:12:45.050 --> 00:12:51.850 just look on YouTube under gospel church of the Lord. And that's where you'll find us every 00:12:51.850 --> 00:12:58.690 Sunday we live stream on YouTube at 10 a.m. Join us won't you? Gospel church of the 00:12:58.690 --> 00:13:07.320 Lord. Well, God damn God damn and God's God damn and God damn it and God damn it and 00:13:07.320 --> 00:13:12.200 Mary was only a virgin if you don't count anal. You see what I'm saying? It's not 00:13:12.200 --> 00:13:17.040 gonna fucking a fucking workout. It's only going to embarrass liberated syndication. 00:13:17.040 --> 00:13:22.360 It's really gonna piss off the advertisers who place their trust in my hosting and 00:13:22.360 --> 00:13:27.440 distribution service to make sure that their dollars are well spent and it's only going 00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:33.560 to exacerbate public perception that I'm a complete fucking asshole advertising on this 00:13:33.560 --> 00:13:39.800 fucking podcast is a terrible idea. Almost sexuality isn't just a sin. It's also 00:13:39.800 --> 00:13:47.680 really detrimental to your health. Join us for our online webinar at 9 p.m. Tuesday 00:13:47.680 --> 00:13:53.780 night where we talk about the negative health effects of acting on your homosexual 00:13:53.780 --> 00:13:59.520 urges. This advertisement brought to you by down with the gaze. 00:13:59.520 --> 00:14:05.230 Back to miss. Listen, I'm not gonna get gay but I was in college. I never sucked 00:14:05.230 --> 00:14:09.990 sucked a dick but I definitely roll one around in my mouth for a while. You know what I'm 00:14:09.990 --> 00:14:17.190 saying? Hi, I'm psychoanalyst and noted therapist John Schwab and I want to talk to you about 00:14:17.190 --> 00:14:24.070 my new book series that's going to be hitting a bookstore near you on August 26th. I go 00:14:24.070 --> 00:14:30.430 into detail about the words we use and the depth and weight that words have on us every 00:14:30.430 --> 00:14:37.890 day. Pick up my book entitled stop calling people cunts. Read the book and understand 00:14:37.890 --> 00:14:45.930 that the words you use do matter. Words matter everything matters and anything that's funny is 00:14:45.930 --> 00:14:52.110 funny at someone else's expense. 00:14:52.110 --> 00:15:02.460 at a bookstore near you. Good morning, cunts. Advertising on Missing Throat Radio was a fucking 00:15:02.460 --> 00:15:09.740 awful idea. No one should do it and the businesses that would knowingly advertise on Missing Throat 00:15:09.740 --> 00:15:18.780 Radio, I'm not fucking sure I want them on here anyway. Just fucking don't. Okay? Liberated syndication. 00:15:18.780 --> 00:15:25.540 Mine I suggest you actually do a little bit of research before you start bundling podcasts into 00:15:25.540 --> 00:15:34.060 attractive packages to sell to advertisers. This one should not be in the bundle. I'm sorry I'm 00:15:34.060 --> 00:15:39.580 gonna have to tap out. I can't fucking do it. My voice is almost completely gone. Just getting 00:15:39.580 --> 00:15:46.380 through this last what? 512 15 minutes something like that is absolutely wrecking my fucking throat. 00:15:46.380 --> 00:15:52.780 I I attempted to stop being a bitch and just get through it. I think I've only made it worse. I may 00:15:52.780 --> 00:15:58.540 end up not counting this as a full episode of Missing Throat Radio because I think we're only 00:15:58.540 --> 00:16:06.620 , I'm getting through one segment. So we might just rename this episode 5.5. Instead of 6. I don't know it's almost laughable by my fucking coffee mug 00:16:06.620 --> 00:16:15.100 I don't know it's almost laughable by my fucking coffee mug in order to keep this fucking podcast free. You know I'm teetering on the edge of placing an order with a company called 00:16:15.100 --> 00:16:23.340 horrible designs to have my logo my actual logo not the bullshit that I have on your podcasting app right now. 00:16:23.340 --> 00:16:34.060 I have some really nice logos that I've put together but the problem is they're too fucking wide to conform to 00:16:34.940 --> 00:16:40.780 what I have. I don't know I can't fucking explain it. They're just too fucking wide. They're too wide for 00:16:42.620 --> 00:16:51.820 the podcast app upload your fucking logo slash picture here field and I don't know how to 00:16:51.820 --> 00:17:02.620 fucking scale them down but anyway I am on the verge of placing an order for t-shirts and stuff like that for my production company which is called 00:17:03.500 --> 00:17:13.260 European Canon productions and a few shirts for Missing Throat Radio that I'm just gonna give away to a few people that I know and stuff like that. 00:17:13.260 --> 00:17:27.020 I'm just I just don't see it but anyway if you know ... I