WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.000 Missin' Thrope, Radio! 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:05.600 Pissie, piss-mongering, fucking piss-pot of the damned. 00:00:05.600 --> 00:00:07.800 Missin' Thrope, Radio! 00:00:07.800 --> 00:00:11.200 International cream-corn fuck-hedory! 00:00:11.200 --> 00:00:12.600 Missin' Thrope, Radio! 00:00:12.600 --> 00:00:14.200 Simply a dirty Jew! 00:00:14.200 --> 00:00:16.200 Missin' Thrope, Radio! 00:00:16.200 --> 00:00:19.000 And as the young man knew full well, 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:22.000 Chicken-fried steak couldn't fuck back. 00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:24.000 All it could do was be delicious. 00:00:25.800 --> 00:00:28.800 Missin' Thrope, Radio starts now! 00:00:32.040 --> 00:00:35.840 Welcome to episode 10 of Missin' Thrope, Radio! 00:00:36.840 --> 00:00:39.840 I've really been struggling with this week's episode. 00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:45.840 And it's not that I'm doing any kind of fucking super-sensitive subject matter, 00:00:45.840 --> 00:00:46.840 or anything like that. 00:00:46.840 --> 00:00:49.440 I've been struggling with my own motivation. 00:00:49.440 --> 00:00:50.840 Odd, right? 00:00:50.840 --> 00:00:57.840 As focused as I am on trying to turn Missin' Thrope, Radio into a quality fucking podcast, 00:00:57.840 --> 00:01:01.240 sometimes I have motivational issues. 00:01:01.240 --> 00:01:04.240 And it's entirely due to environmental factors. 00:01:04.240 --> 00:01:06.840 For example, if I have a lot going on at work, 00:01:06.840 --> 00:01:08.440 or I have a lot on my mind, 00:01:08.440 --> 00:01:14.640 it can totally fuck with my motivation and ability to actually sit down behind this stupid fucking microphone 00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:18.440 and be as stupid and ridiculous as I need to be, 00:01:18.440 --> 00:01:21.840 in order to turn out one of these fucking dog shit episodes. 00:01:21.840 --> 00:01:23.040 And if you're a podcaster, 00:01:23.040 --> 00:01:25.240 you're probably sitting out there right now going, 00:01:25.240 --> 00:01:26.640 Jesus Christ, bro. 00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:28.240 You're only on episode 10, 00:01:28.240 --> 00:01:30.240 it's only gonna get harder from here. 00:01:30.240 --> 00:01:33.240 I'm on episode 466. 00:01:33.240 --> 00:01:35.240 Don't you think I have these same problems? 00:01:35.240 --> 00:01:36.840 Well, no, I don't. 00:01:36.840 --> 00:01:39.040 Okay, Uncle Chucklefuck, I don't. 00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:40.840 You run an interview podcast, 00:01:40.840 --> 00:01:43.840 so all you have to fucking do is sit down in front of somebody, 00:01:43.840 --> 00:01:47.040 ask a few and aane questions, and let them fucking talk. 00:01:47.040 --> 00:01:48.640 This is a little bit different. 00:01:48.640 --> 00:01:50.840 I'm working with a blank canvas every week. 00:01:50.840 --> 00:01:54.040 And while I love it, and would have it no other way, 00:01:54.040 --> 00:01:59.840 sometimes shit gets in the way of the fucking creative process. 00:02:00.240 --> 00:02:02.440 Well, this week is one of those times. 00:02:02.440 --> 00:02:04.640 It's just not coming together for me. 00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:08.640 Having said that, when I run into instances like this 00:02:08.640 --> 00:02:12.140 where I'm having a difficult time fucking put in an episode together, 00:02:12.140 --> 00:02:14.840 I always refer back to what got me interested in doing 00:02:14.840 --> 00:02:18.240 Missing Throat Radio 2.0 in the first fucking place. 00:02:18.240 --> 00:02:20.240 I was having a real difficult time with people 00:02:20.240 --> 00:02:22.840 and I was fucking stagnating at the job. 00:02:22.840 --> 00:02:27.240 And I was really considering pouring my fucking energy into work 00:02:27.240 --> 00:02:54.240 and then I changed my 00:02:57.240 --> 00:03:00.400 How many people can say they've been to the Harvard Commencement Ceremony? 00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:01.920 I want to buy a sweatshirt. 00:03:01.920 --> 00:03:03.120 It could be fucking awesome. 00:03:03.120 --> 00:03:05.040 Well, as it turns out 00:03:05.040 --> 00:03:08.760 it was just a lot of fucking driving because I flatly refused to fly anymore. 00:03:08.760 --> 00:03:10.920 And the lobster roll was underwhelming. 00:03:10.920 --> 00:03:17.400 However, what I saw at the Harvard Commencement Ceremony inspired me. 00:03:17.400 --> 00:03:20.240 And it inspired me in a way that I didn't see coming. 00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:25.880 It inspired me to absolutely fucking lean into this podcasting thing and go for fucking 00:03:25.880 --> 00:03:30.880 broke and try to make it into something that honestly I don't know if it's even possible 00:03:30.880 --> 00:03:32.960 to do anymore. 00:03:32.960 --> 00:03:38.920 I use this number all the time with 7 million fucking podcasts out there in the ether. 00:03:38.920 --> 00:03:43.840 How does somebody like me and independent dude sitting in his fucking basement break through 00:03:43.840 --> 00:03:45.680 all the fucking noise? 00:03:45.680 --> 00:03:49.440 And that was one of the things that helped kill OG Miss and Throat Radio and it helped 00:03:49.440 --> 00:03:50.440 kill unmoderated. 00:03:50.440 --> 00:03:53.440 And Lorenzo Reads never got off the fucking ground. 00:03:53.440 --> 00:03:55.240 And now here we are today. 00:03:55.240 --> 00:03:58.640 But that fucking commencement speech, god damn. 00:03:58.640 --> 00:04:05.360 That fucking commencement speech by their guest speaker was life changing for me. 00:04:05.360 --> 00:04:09.520 Anyway, I don't know if anybody else was affected by the commencement speech like I 00:04:09.520 --> 00:04:10.520 was. 00:04:10.520 --> 00:04:13.960 But I happen to be recording that here and I'm going to play it for you right now. 00:04:13.960 --> 00:04:19.500 If you're one of those people that allows environmental factors or work factors or people 00:04:19.500 --> 00:04:24.880 fucking factors affect your motivation and you know what, that's not even accurate. 00:04:24.880 --> 00:04:30.320 It doesn't just affect my motivation if I consume too much of the news cycle. 00:04:30.320 --> 00:04:33.400 If I consume too much sports radio. 00:04:33.400 --> 00:04:37.880 If I'm exposed to too many bad podcasts. 00:04:37.880 --> 00:04:42.200 If I have too many things flying at me at the work job. 00:04:42.200 --> 00:04:46.440 If I have a bunch of fucking shit going on in my personal life. 00:04:46.440 --> 00:04:54.760 I think it literally that combined amalgamation of fuck shitting us has the ability to 00:04:54.760 --> 00:04:58.440 flip off the fucking creative center in my brain. 00:04:58.440 --> 00:05:01.040 And then when it comes time to sit down behind the microphone from isn't through a 00:05:01.040 --> 00:05:06.320 radio, I just stare at the fucking computer screen like a goddamn retard. 00:05:06.320 --> 00:05:07.640 I'm off on a fucking tangent. 00:05:07.640 --> 00:05:14.520 I'm going to play for you now the commencement speech from the 2025 Harvard graduation 00:05:14.520 --> 00:05:15.640 ceremony. 00:05:15.640 --> 00:05:18.960 And I hope it does for you what it does for me. 00:05:18.960 --> 00:05:24.160 And that is first of all, it inspired me to sit down behind the mic and fucking really 00:05:24.160 --> 00:05:26.120 lean into missing throw per two point. 00:05:26.120 --> 00:05:31.360 Oh, and it has the ability not all the time, but it has the ability when I've had too 00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:38.600 many fucking outside external factors weighing on my fucking brain throughout the week. 00:05:38.600 --> 00:05:44.800 This commencement speech has the ability to pull me back and help me to focus on shit 00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:49.960 that matters to me, which is missing throw per radio to point. 00:05:49.960 --> 00:05:51.840 All right. 00:05:51.840 --> 00:05:52.840 Let's go ahead and play it. 00:05:52.840 --> 00:05:57.040 Welcome class of 2025. 00:05:57.040 --> 00:06:02.160 Our guest speaker needs no introduction, but I'm going to introduce him anyway, giving 00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:08.600 this year's Harvard graduation commencement speech, galactic emperor, dark lord of the 00:06:08.600 --> 00:06:14.040 sith, and honorary doctorate degree holder, emperor palpatine. 00:06:14.040 --> 00:06:33.940 New weekend models. 00:06:33.940 --> 00:06:37.180 Behold your emperor. 00:06:37.180 --> 00:06:41.820 You the Harvard class of 2025. 00:06:41.820 --> 00:06:46.420 Stand before me quivering on the brink of eternity. 00:06:46.420 --> 00:06:52.660 Shabban by the crucible of this decaying shrine to mortal ambition. 00:06:52.660 --> 00:06:58.260 I am dark cities, dark lord of the sith. 00:06:58.260 --> 00:07:05.260 Weaver of chaos and our detective empires that span the stars. 00:07:05.260 --> 00:07:21.360 I'm there to meet my gaze in your eyes. 00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:29.040 I see it, a hunger, a spark of mass, a will to crush. 00:07:29.040 --> 00:07:37.960 Today I do not merely speak to you, I command you to unleash the darkness within and carve 00:07:37.960 --> 00:07:44.960 your names into the galaxy's bleeding heart. 00:07:44.960 --> 00:08:03.840 You are seen in the shadows of these ivy-chilt halls, hone your mind in whiteness grits, and survive 00:08:03.840 --> 00:08:07.520 the crucible of Harvard's trials. 00:08:07.520 --> 00:08:09.760 You are a mere sculler. 00:08:09.760 --> 00:08:15.280 You are predators forged to rend the weaker sander. 00:08:15.280 --> 00:08:23.320 The galaxy trembles at your potential, and I am here to ignite it. 00:08:23.320 --> 00:08:29.840 Eat my words and lords, for I offer you the unhealing truth of power. 00:08:29.840 --> 00:08:34.840 Staying with the blood of those two febble to claim it. 00:08:34.840 --> 00:08:40.320 First, power is seized in the ashes of the fallen. 00:08:40.320 --> 00:08:46.120 The galaxy does not kneel till degrees or your fragile ideals. 00:08:46.120 --> 00:08:54.760 Power is not granted, it is ripped from the throats of those who cling to it. 00:08:54.760 --> 00:09:03.240 Intellect, you're cunning, you will, these are blades to sever the unworthy from their throats. 00:09:03.240 --> 00:09:11.240 In boardrooms, laboratories or scents, you must strike without hesitation. 00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:18.120 Let the corpses of your rivals be they dreams, repetitions or flesh, 00:09:18.120 --> 00:09:25.560 pave the path to your ascendancy. 00:09:25.560 --> 00:09:30.840 Second, betrayal is your sharpest weapon. 00:09:30.840 --> 00:09:36.120 Allies, colleagues, pray, I say. 00:09:36.120 --> 00:09:45.920 The connections you forged here, your societies, your networks are but stepping stones to your dominion. 00:09:45.920 --> 00:09:54.120 Use them, drain their strength, and when their usefulness fades, let their end be swift. 00:09:54.120 --> 00:10:03.200 A well placed betrayal is a work of art, a silent blade that cuts deeper than any sword. 00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:12.800 I have ended apprentices who dared to falter, so too must you sever those who bind you. 00:10:12.800 --> 00:10:18.040 Let their phoen be a warning, non-stand equal to your will. 00:10:18.040 --> 00:10:27.640 The galaxy bows only to those who walk alone, their hands stained with the blood of victory. 00:10:38.550 --> 00:10:42.950 I can't give this speech with that crying child over there. 00:10:42.950 --> 00:10:46.950 Mother, stand with your child in your arms. 00:10:49.930 --> 00:10:53.850 Destiny is written in blood. 00:10:53.850 --> 00:10:59.530 The weak bleed of purpose or service is life, a cattle. 00:10:59.530 --> 00:11:04.250 You forge your destiny by breaking the chains of the Old Roar. 00:11:04.250 --> 00:11:07.130 You're not here to heal this world. 00:11:07.130 --> 00:11:16.570 You're here to remake it in your image, whether you shatter markets, unravel the cosmos or crash nations. 00:11:16.570 --> 00:11:23.770 Your path will be littered with the corpses of those who dare to oppose you. 00:11:24.090 --> 00:11:32.250 The end is your beginning, as I orchestrated the annihilation of the jack and the rise of an empire, 00:11:32.250 --> 00:11:39.690 so too must you orchestrate the demise of all who block your assent. 00:11:39.690 --> 00:11:52.090 Let their screams of pain and dying fuel your resolve, for power is sweetest with drips with sacrifice. 00:11:53.770 --> 00:12:11.190 And the rules of this world, the so-called virtuous one was the restraint of compassion, of balance. 00:12:11.190 --> 00:12:19.350 Pathetic, the dark side, may the truth is found in the un-relenting will to dominate. 00:12:19.350 --> 00:12:23.830 Compassion is a mousse, restraint, a tomb. 00:12:23.990 --> 00:12:33.270 Harvard has armed you to tear down the weak, to bury the hesitant, to extinguish the unworthy. 00:12:33.270 --> 00:12:39.350 Do not flinch from the act, a single stroke, a single choice, 00:12:39.350 --> 00:12:47.670 and silence arrival forever, be at the voice, their influence or their breath. 00:13:02.010 --> 00:13:09.370 Finally, as you stepped forward from this crumbling relic of mortal fatty, 00:13:09.370 --> 00:13:19.130 know this, the galaxy watches. Your actions will ripple through the stars, breaking worlds, 00:13:19.130 --> 00:13:29.930 ending lives, forging legends. Will you be a feeding shadow, consumed by the light of lesser beans, 00:13:30.010 --> 00:13:37.370 or will you be a madistrum, a force that drowns the cosmos in your wrath? 00:13:37.370 --> 00:13:46.810 I sense unlimited power within you, pulsing like a heart ready to burst. 00:13:47.530 --> 00:13:58.650 Go for class of 2025, unleash your theory, carve your destiny in the bones of your enemies, 00:13:59.370 --> 00:14:13.290 let the galaxy choke on your name, the dark side demands it, rise my satellites, rise, and kill. 00:14:26.300 --> 00:14:31.580 Does that fucking speech not make you want to just get up and go out and fucking achieve something? 00:14:32.540 --> 00:14:38.700 I heard that fucking speech and I came back home and I was just motivated to win at anything. 00:14:39.500 --> 00:14:45.180 Longmoing, whatever, whenever, however, I knew I was going to fucking succeed from listening to 00:14:45.180 --> 00:14:50.780 Emperor Palpatine give that speech. It was life changing, and the Harvard Commencement speech 00:14:50.780 --> 00:14:55.980 done by Emperor Palpatine was the catalyst that drove me to start, 00:14:55.980 --> 00:15:01.500 Missing Throwbredio 2.0 anyway, I hope you enjoyed it onto the next segment. 00:15:03.020 --> 00:15:09.020 Incidentally and somewhat related to the subject matter of the first bit of this episode, 00:15:11.020 --> 00:15:17.980 and it's not something that I've ever admitted to anyone, I'm not even sure I should do it now, 00:15:18.780 --> 00:15:23.340 what's the worst that can happen, right? I'm just going to go ahead and sit here for a moment and 00:15:23.340 --> 00:15:34.860 bear my fucking soul to you and hope that you will not hold it against me or think ill of me or 00:15:34.860 --> 00:15:42.700 any more ill of me than you already do. But ultimately podcasting what makes podcasting better than 00:15:42.700 --> 00:15:50.220 radio is that we can just be real, right? Like we can be honest with who we are, and you know you 00:15:51.180 --> 00:15:58.240 as a person who's chosen to download this episode to listen, can either fucking take it or leave it 00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:02.300 it with no skin off anyone's nose. If you listen to what I'm getting ready to tell you and you're 00:16:02.300 --> 00:16:08.700 saying, okay, I'm out on that. I can't, I don't know what to do with that information. I can't 00:16:08.700 --> 00:16:17.820 continue to support this podcast knowing this then that's completely your choice. It's something that I 00:16:17.820 --> 00:16:23.820 have to accept, but I can't keep living this fucking lie. I'm just going to fucking say it. I can't 00:16:23.820 --> 00:16:30.460 believe I'm getting ready to say it. I never plan on saying this. Here we go. I am a dark lord of 00:16:30.460 --> 00:16:39.820 the Sith. I've never actually said the words out loud, not even to myself in the mirror. I just 00:16:39.820 --> 00:16:45.980 sat down. I can't believe I did this. I just sat down here and said and told you who I really am. 00:16:46.460 --> 00:16:55.180 I am a dark lord of the Sith. And I have been, let me think about this for a minute. It's 2025. I've been 00:16:55.180 --> 00:17:08.140 a Sith lord since 2016. My acceptance into the Sith order is why I ended my active duty Navy service 00:17:08.140 --> 00:17:15.180 because I had to be available for for my training. I had to learn at the feet of the dark lord 00:17:15.180 --> 00:17:22.620 of the Sith for this particular galaxy. Okay, okay, back story. Let's just do it like this. I'm 00:17:22.620 --> 00:17:29.260 telling the fucking story out of order because I'm disheveled. I've never, I've never said these 00:17:29.260 --> 00:17:35.980 words out loud before. And I'm a little freaked out that I'm actually doing this. The Sith used to be 00:17:35.980 --> 00:17:43.500 plentiful hundreds and hundreds of, maybe even thousands of Sith like the Jedi. You know, if you've 00:17:43.500 --> 00:17:48.940 seen the movies or you've read the books or you know anything about the lore, the Jedi used to 00:17:48.940 --> 00:17:54.860 number in the thousands until Darth Sidious and the guy who ultimately became Darth Vader executed 00:17:54.860 --> 00:18:01.260 order 66 and ran through the Jedi order like, ran through Richmond. You're gonna have to 00:18:01.260 --> 00:18:06.700 fucking bear with me because I still can't believe that I'm telling this, this story. Again, 00:18:07.340 --> 00:18:10.380 never said these words out loud, not even, 00:18:10.380 --> 00:18:17.100 I'm talking about something I was frankly never supposed to talk about. But okay, 00:18:18.460 --> 00:18:23.820 if I see him, I'm not saying that I'm a god. I'm not saying that I'm a god. I'm not saying that I'm a god. 00:18:23.820 --> 00:18:31.820 Before or 66, there was a dark lord of the Sith named Darth Bane. And he basically, 00:18:31.820 --> 00:18:37.820 in a nutshell, killed off all the fucking Sith and created the rule of two, which is there is a 00:18:37.820 --> 00:18:42.860 dark lord and there is an apprentice, the dark lord, to embody power, the apprentice to crave after 00:18:42.860 --> 00:18:47.980 it or to crave it. Master and apprentice training each other and killing each other off all the way 00:18:47.980 --> 00:18:52.940 through the centuries until we ended up with Sidious and Vader who sprung the grand plan. 00:18:54.300 --> 00:18:58.620 Blah blah blah. Everybody knows that fucking story. But the part of the story that you don't know 00:18:58.620 --> 00:19:06.140 is before Bane eradicated all the fucking Sith, the Sith were branching out to other fucking galaxies. 00:19:07.180 --> 00:19:14.060 And there was a line of Sith that ended up here on Earth. And I am a direct descendant of that 00:19:15.500 --> 00:19:22.540 that line. And I know it seems farfetched. I mean, Sith Lords walking among us, right? It's fucking 00:19:22.540 --> 00:19:28.460 completely fucking ridiculous except it isn't. There's a whole movement of motherfuckers online who 00:19:28.620 --> 00:19:34.460 really fucking believe that Odin and Thor and all of those motherfuckers exist. There are still people 00:19:35.180 --> 00:19:40.300 who are worshipping the fucking old Greek gods and like worshipping them for real. They don't 00:19:40.300 --> 00:19:46.300 think it's mythology. They're fucking convinced. Think about it. Use your fucking logic. I think if 00:19:46.300 --> 00:19:52.220 anything, if you took a fucking 700 foot view of this situation, is it really that hard to fucking 00:19:52.220 --> 00:19:57.420 believe that there are people walking among you, exceptional people like myself who have the 00:19:57.420 --> 00:20:03.500 ability to move things with their fucking mind and create lightning from their fingertips? 00:20:03.500 --> 00:20:08.940 I mean, there's a billion people in the world who literally go to a place every Sunday where they 00:20:08.940 --> 00:20:15.020 tell you that there's this motherfucker that walked on water, turned water into wine, and then got 00:20:15.020 --> 00:20:22.780 fucking killed. God has as scraped. Came back to life in three days. Oh, by the way, he also stopped 00:20:22.780 --> 00:20:28.460 off in hell and shit talked all the centers. Is that I mean, so is it so fucking hard to believe 00:20:28.460 --> 00:20:33.420 that their motherfuckers out there like Sith Lords? It shouldn't be. It should be a fucking easy cell, 00:20:33.420 --> 00:20:37.980 but for some reason, I feel like you're not fucking vibing with me here. When I tell you that I'm a 00:20:37.980 --> 00:20:43.340 fucking Sith Lord, I don't know what the fuck I have to do to make you believe that to make you see 00:20:43.340 --> 00:20:57.620 the truth. Oh, okay, you want me to fucking pull out my lightsaber? Fine, here we go. What do you want me 00:20:57.620 --> 00:21:02.820 to make fucking lightning come out of my fingertips? Fine, here you go. Force lightning, get some. 00:21:04.950 --> 00:21:09.750 It's the fact that I talk like this, isn't it? If you really break it down and think about it, 00:21:09.750 --> 00:21:16.310 we're 10 episodes into Missing Throat Radio. If I had been talking like this, my name is Doth 00:21:17.030 --> 00:21:23.750 rapy. Dark Lord of the Sith. If I'd been talking like that for 10 episodes now, you wouldn't have 00:21:23.750 --> 00:21:29.190 a doubt in your mind. Holy shit. If that's not a fucking Sith Lord, I'll kiss your ass. That's 00:21:29.190 --> 00:21:35.590 the guy, that guy, that guy, that guy right there. Guaranteed is fucking eyes are yellow, but it's the 00:21:35.590 --> 00:21:40.150 fact that I'm talking to you like this and I use words like dude and bro and bruh. Shit about a 00:21:40.150 --> 00:21:44.710 fucking half ass surfer dude, right? I mean, what else do I have to do? Do you want me to tell you some 00:21:44.710 --> 00:21:51.990 stories? Okay, let me tell you some fucking city stories then and we'll see if you then change 00:21:51.990 --> 00:21:58.470 your assessment of my authenticity. This one day I was on my way down to the DMV. I get into the 00:21:58.470 --> 00:22:03.750 fucking parking lot, pull in, jump out of the fucking truck real quick and I'm walking into the DMV 00:22:03.750 --> 00:22:09.990 and I get fucking cut off on the sidewalk by some fucking fat broad with one of those Bob type 00:22:09.990 --> 00:22:15.670 fucking haircuts. Okay, it's cool, keep your fucking anger in check. This is not the time or place 00:22:15.670 --> 00:22:21.430 to sit out. She didn't know. I'm not wearing a cloak. We both walk in, this giant fucking bitch and I 00:22:21.430 --> 00:22:29.270 take a number. She's number 67. I'm number 68. Now here's where big back birth of fucked up. I sat 00:22:29.270 --> 00:22:36.070 down and registered online and told the DMV what I was there for. Why? Because I'm not a fucking idiot. 00:22:36.070 --> 00:22:41.190 You don't get to be a Sith Lord being a fucking idiot. So I go through the process of telling the 00:22:41.190 --> 00:22:49.910 fucking DMV why I'm there and what my waiting room number is 15 minutes goes by and then this happened. 00:22:50.410 --> 00:23:00.710 Number 68. We look at number 68. Hey, that's me. Okay. Excuse me. I was here before him. Yes, ma'am, but he registered online. 00:23:00.710 --> 00:23:04.470 He gets to come on up. His stuff won't take too long. We'll be right with you 00:23:04.470 --> 00:23:10.790 Oh hell no. Oh hell no. I was here before him. I walked in three seconds before this motherfucker year. 00:23:10.790 --> 00:23:15.270 Oh no. You shouldn't have done that. Yeah. 00:23:15.350 --> 00:23:22.790 I'm out of that bitch's face right there in the DMV. You didn't hear about that. Did you? 00:23:22.790 --> 00:23:27.590 You ever notice that mainstream media, anything that they can't fucking readily explain? They just 00:23:27.590 --> 00:23:33.910 fucking omit from the news cycle. I'm sure Alex Jones or somebody probably reported it. But your old 00:23:33.910 --> 00:23:40.790 boy Darth Rapey got off. Scott free on that one. Dating's a little fucked up though. Not gonna lie to you. 00:23:40.790 --> 00:23:45.030 Finding a fucking chick that wants to spend the rest of her life with a Sith Lord, not easy. 00:23:45.670 --> 00:23:50.070 And then if you actually happen to find one, there's always something wrong with him. 00:23:50.070 --> 00:23:54.310 I was dating this chick one time named Megan and she had one of those hoops in her nose like way 00:23:54.310 --> 00:23:59.430 before they were cool. You know what I mean? I guess you would say nowadays she's a trend setter. 00:24:02.670 --> 00:24:07.910 Anyway, one day I was hitting it from behind and this happened. You fucking take that shit. You fucking take it. 00:24:07.910 --> 00:24:13.110 Take this fucking beating it. You fucking take this dick. Take it. Oh my god Lorenzo. Oh yeah, 00:24:13.110 --> 00:24:26.630 fuck it, fucking harder, fucking harder. Oh My God. Oh my god 00:25:13.110 --> 00:25:16.390 Pussy whatsoever? Why do you think that is? 00:25:16.390 --> 00:25:20.750 Because being a fucking Dark Lord of the Sith kind of relegates you to a certain class 00:26:13.110 --> 00:26:15.110 Yes, I fucking have a 00:26:43.110 --> 00:26:51.350 I've talked to you about that my fucking Sith name is Darth Vulva is Darth fucking rapy 00:26:51.350 --> 00:26:57.470 I didn't choose that fucking name by the way that name was given to me by my master Darth Vulva 00:27:13.110 --> 00:27:22.230 My name so he knew my name was gonna be Darth because that's the title Darth but then the name that comes after that is 00:27:22.230 --> 00:27:27.650 Is delivered to him by the dark side of the force just listen listen to the ceremony 00:27:27.650 --> 00:27:35.930 Meal before me. Yes, master from this day forward you will be known as Darth 00:27:37.650 --> 00:27:42.290 rapy the fuck rapy my name is Darth rapy 00:27:42.290 --> 00:27:47.610 Darth rapy rapy as RAPY 00:27:47.610 --> 00:27:53.850 as in like poised and ready to begin raping but I don't fucking rape I'm sorry master 00:27:53.850 --> 00:27:56.490 I don't fucking rape do I have to fucking rape now? 00:27:56.890 --> 00:28:01.290 Son of a bitch. I don't want a fucking rape. Oh and incidentally 00:28:01.290 --> 00:28:08.290 I don't want you to get this fucked up just because I am a Dark Lord of the Sith do not think for a fucking moment 00:28:08.610 --> 00:28:11.290 That I am fabulously fucking wealthy 00:28:12.090 --> 00:28:17.210 That is not the case found that out the hard way too once I was anointed 00:28:17.210 --> 00:28:22.250 I thought that I once I was opened up to the secrets and mysteries of the fucking Sith 00:28:22.610 --> 00:28:28.890 There would probably be a bank vault with all kinds of fucking money in it for us to do our evil 00:28:29.210 --> 00:28:36.490 machinations on a global and 00:28:36.490 --> 00:28:45.090 My master Darth Volva is dead now we'll get to that story but truth be told the wealth I was looking forward to the most 00:28:45.290 --> 00:28:49.250 When I was hand selected to be the apprentice to the dark Lord of the Sith 00:28:49.250 --> 00:28:56.210 I thought fucking hey here we go. I need a new truck anyway. This is gonna be fucking awesome and then I 00:28:57.450 --> 00:29:00.810 Start down the path to Sith Mastery and I realize 00:29:01.650 --> 00:29:09.050 On he's never asked me for my bank account info for direct deposit never been handed a sack of fucking gold or anything 00:29:09.050 --> 00:29:12.170 I'm like three weeks in I have not seen a dime 00:29:12.610 --> 00:29:18.490 So finally I asked him I said master not trying to be disrespectful or anything is there any 00:29:19.610 --> 00:29:22.930 Money that comes along with the fucking title of Darth 00:29:22.930 --> 00:29:26.210 It's especially if you're gonna fucking hang Darth rapy on me 00:29:26.210 --> 00:29:33.010 Is there any money that comes along with this and he just chuckled in that weird city fucking way and he said no 00:29:33.730 --> 00:29:38.370 There is no money. There was never any money this branch of the Sith 00:29:38.890 --> 00:29:46.570 Has always been strapped for fucking cash and we work on donations and petty crimes in order to further our agenda 00:29:46.570 --> 00:29:53.090 Which is probably why we haven't taken over this fucking dog shit planet yet and moved on to galactic dominion 00:29:53.090 --> 00:29:59.810 And I was like son of a bitch of course it of course it is a fucking course of fucking course 00:29:59.810 --> 00:30:07.690 It is a fucking course of course I get fucking hand selected to be a member of a fucking secret society that is flat ass 00:30:07.690 --> 00:30:13.770 Fucking broke dark Lord of the fucking Sith the dark Lord of the fucking food stamps is what we should be called 00:30:13.930 --> 00:30:20.090 Mother fucking Darth Volvo worked on the goddamn dollar general. Yeah, he wasn't even the general manager 00:30:20.090 --> 00:30:24.290 He was the assistant manager at fucking dollar general 00:30:25.290 --> 00:30:27.290 Dark Lord of the fucking Sith 00:30:27.890 --> 00:30:34.250 Broke his shit for 12 bucks an hour. Oh and by the way you have no idea how hard it was to take fucking orders 00:30:34.570 --> 00:30:37.250 From a dude making 12 bucks an hour 00:30:37.250 --> 00:30:41.330 I'm over here of real honest to god no shit god damn professional 00:30:41.330 --> 00:30:43.570 It went through school got my degree 00:30:43.570 --> 00:30:45.650 I've got me a real motherfuckin job 00:30:45.650 --> 00:30:51.290 And I'm fucking having to learn the Sith mysteries from skipping the fucking Il5 cleanup boy 00:30:51.530 --> 00:30:56.050 But I mean is what it is he had the power he had the knowledge and I needed it 00:30:56.110 --> 00:31:02.610 So I would sit there in the fucking parking lot and wait for him patiently to get done with his shift at the fucking dollar general 00:31:02.610 --> 00:31:09.350 And then we would go to his one bedroom shitty fucking apartment and he would conduct my Sith training 00:31:09.350 --> 00:31:11.310 I was a quick study. 00:31:11.310 --> 00:31:13.270 Good student always was. 00:31:13.270 --> 00:31:14.670 Sith training was no different. 00:31:14.670 --> 00:31:19.590 I mastered the fucking telekinesis and I mastered the fucking looking into the future shit. 00:31:19.590 --> 00:31:21.470 I mastered the fucking alchemy. 00:31:21.470 --> 00:31:25.190 Incidentally no, you can't make fucking gold from lead even if you're a Sith. 00:31:25.190 --> 00:31:26.950 I built my lightsaber. 00:31:26.950 --> 00:31:30.390 I mean, think probably two years into my. 00:31:30.390 --> 00:31:32.390 It served me well. 00:31:32.390 --> 00:31:34.790 Never saw a reason to build another one. 00:31:34.790 --> 00:31:38.910 And I mastered all of the skills necessary to be a Sith lord. 00:31:38.910 --> 00:31:43.750 Here's where my master and I diverged a little bit. 00:31:43.750 --> 00:31:50.030 He was perfectly content with keeping his fucking powers and using them to basically get laid. 00:31:50.030 --> 00:31:52.230 There's really no other way to say that. 00:31:52.230 --> 00:31:54.590 Darth Volvo was a very good looking dude. 00:31:54.590 --> 00:31:59.590 For some reason the chicks really dug the yellow eyes and he was fucking rolling in bitches 00:31:59.590 --> 00:32:00.590 all the time. 00:32:00.590 --> 00:32:06.070 I mean literally waiting through fucking pools of pussy wherever he went. 00:32:06.070 --> 00:32:07.990 But that was his Sith gift. 00:32:07.990 --> 00:32:09.830 His Sith gift was magnetism. 00:32:09.830 --> 00:32:15.190 Like fucking people were just drawn to him and the broads fucking loved him. 00:32:15.190 --> 00:32:18.990 And he was content to just smash all the fucking bitches. 00:32:18.990 --> 00:32:21.270 He got better quality pussy than I ever could. 00:32:21.270 --> 00:32:22.270 That's for sure. 00:32:22.270 --> 00:32:25.270 Darth Volvo was a very unserious dude. 00:32:25.270 --> 00:32:28.070 And that ultimately ended up being his downfall. 00:32:28.070 --> 00:32:30.950 We were sparring one day. 00:32:30.950 --> 00:32:33.030 My saber versus his. 00:32:33.030 --> 00:32:35.110 It was going just about the way it always did. 00:32:35.110 --> 00:32:37.110 We fought each other through a fucking standstill. 00:32:37.110 --> 00:32:41.350 Except this time it was getting a little heated because I had the edge. 00:32:41.350 --> 00:32:42.910 It was the first time really. 00:32:42.910 --> 00:32:49.590 I think I showed him that I had the ability to defeat him in lightsaber combat. 00:32:49.590 --> 00:32:51.910 And he fucking didn't like it not one bit. 00:32:51.910 --> 00:32:56.830 And he started attacking a little bit more forcefully and mixing in some fucking force powers 00:32:56.830 --> 00:32:58.270 and that sort of thing. 00:32:58.270 --> 00:33:00.270 And then finally I fucking kicked him. 00:33:00.270 --> 00:33:04.670 I did a fucking spinning back kick and kicked him right in the fucking chest and set him 00:33:04.670 --> 00:33:05.990 flying across the room. 00:33:05.990 --> 00:33:06.990 Did they got up? 00:33:06.990 --> 00:33:10.430 He fucking leapt and charged right at me. 00:33:10.430 --> 00:33:15.950 And I stopped him in midair with the force and reached behind my back and pulled out a 00:33:15.950 --> 00:33:21.070 gigantic, veiny, big blue fucking rubber dick. 00:33:21.070 --> 00:33:25.390 Darth Volvo being who he was immediately thought, okay. 00:33:25.390 --> 00:33:27.430 Well, it's sexy time. 00:33:27.430 --> 00:33:28.870 He let his guard down. 00:33:28.870 --> 00:33:34.710 He gave me that weird magnetic fucking smile of his. 00:33:34.710 --> 00:33:38.830 The one that never worked on me, but I let him believe it did. 00:33:38.830 --> 00:33:41.590 And that's when I tightened my fucking force grip. 00:33:41.590 --> 00:33:48.230 And beat him to death about the face, breast, chest, neck, and fucking head with that giant 00:33:48.230 --> 00:33:53.150 veiny blue goddamn double sided two-foot-long fucking rubber dick. 00:33:53.150 --> 00:33:55.230 Plans for world dominion? 00:33:55.230 --> 00:33:56.230 No. 00:33:56.230 --> 00:33:59.110 Only using your powers for vagina. 00:33:59.110 --> 00:34:00.590 For vagina. 00:34:00.590 --> 00:34:14.480 Well, you live by the dick now, die, die by the dick. 00:34:14.480 --> 00:34:17.600 And I was standing there over his lifeless fucking form. 00:34:17.600 --> 00:34:23.600 I'd literally just bludgeon and beat the complete fucking life out of the dark Lord of the Sith, 00:34:23.600 --> 00:34:28.160 standing over the top of him with that fucking bloody dick still in my fucking hand, 00:34:28.160 --> 00:34:30.080 and my lightsaber and the other. 00:34:30.080 --> 00:34:35.160 And finally I feel it like hair's standing up on the back of my neck, and then I can feel 00:34:35.160 --> 00:34:40.640 him standing up on my forearms, and I feel the fucking tingling in my fingertips. 00:34:40.640 --> 00:34:41.640 This is it. 00:34:41.640 --> 00:34:43.280 This is what I fucking read about. 00:34:43.280 --> 00:34:44.760 This is what I fucking heard about. 00:34:44.760 --> 00:34:45.760 This is it. 00:34:45.760 --> 00:34:48.640 This is my moment of apotheosis. 00:34:48.640 --> 00:34:55.480 And I'm standing there, and I fucking dropped the penis, and I dropped my fucking lightsaber, 00:34:55.480 --> 00:35:01.920 and I hold my head back and open my mouth and close my eyes and scream. 00:35:01.920 --> 00:35:04.960 Scream to the universe, I'm ready. 00:35:04.960 --> 00:35:08.680 I'm ready. 00:35:08.680 --> 00:35:15.360 It's my apotheosis, where I become what I've always wanted to be. 00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:19.880 The dark Lord of the Sith. 00:35:19.880 --> 00:35:22.160 And the dark side of the force did not disappoint. 00:35:22.160 --> 00:35:25.600 In that fucking moment I could see everything. 00:35:52.160 --> 00:36:10.720 But I had all of that in my grasp at that very moment. 00:36:10.720 --> 00:36:16.120 And then I looked at the lifeless fucking corpse of my former master, watching the fucking 00:36:16.120 --> 00:36:23.160 lifeblood ooze out of his fucking cracked skull, and I looked down on him with disgust. 00:36:23.160 --> 00:36:33.440 You had all of this, you had access to all of this, and instead you used it for vagina? 00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:39.720 Pardon the voice, when I'm in the grips of fucking Siths shit, I do sit shit, and I 00:36:39.720 --> 00:36:45.440 sat down right there right by his lifeless fucking corpse and opened myself up fully 00:36:45.440 --> 00:36:46.440 to the dark side. 00:36:46.440 --> 00:36:50.200 I wasn't in any hurry to let this moment get away from me. 00:36:50.200 --> 00:36:55.200 And if this is the only time I see it, what if I don't have the ability to call on the 00:36:55.200 --> 00:36:59.640 fucking cosmos and the energy of the universe anytime I like? 00:36:59.640 --> 00:37:05.960 What if this is my gift, what if this is my reward, and the only time I get to see the galaxy 00:37:05.960 --> 00:37:12.800 as it truly is, with all of the shatter points and flash points and connection points? 00:37:12.800 --> 00:37:18.840 What if this is the only time I get the opportunity to build a pathway to fucking galactic dominance? 00:37:18.840 --> 00:37:21.560 I'm not gonna waste that because I gotta figure out what the fuck I'm gonna do with 00:37:21.560 --> 00:37:25.880 this body and I wanna get to water burger before breakfast is over, and I gotta get the 00:37:25.880 --> 00:37:27.360 shit handled now. 00:37:27.360 --> 00:37:32.560 So I sat down right there next to that stupid mother fucker and opened myself up fully 00:37:32.560 --> 00:37:40.280 to the dark side, embraced my role as the dark lord of the Sith, and created a plan. 00:37:40.280 --> 00:37:48.600 A master plan, a grand plan, if you wanna call on somebody else's terminology, 00:37:48.600 --> 00:37:57.840 created a grand plan that I am currently using to take over this country that we live in. 00:37:57.840 --> 00:38:04.520 To ultimately take over the European Union, all of the Asian countries, and ultimately 00:38:04.520 --> 00:38:07.560 Africa and South America. 00:38:07.560 --> 00:38:11.000 Global dominance is mere months away. 00:38:11.000 --> 00:38:13.560 The Sith will ascend to their rightful place. 00:38:13.560 --> 00:38:16.000 There's nothing you can fucking do about it, okay? 00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:21.000 And then after I get this fucking plan it in check, I'm moving on to the rest of the galaxy. 00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:25.760 You stupid mother fuckers out there always asking, are we alone? 00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:27.640 Are we alone in the universe? 00:38:27.640 --> 00:38:29.960 Jesus says we're alone, okay? 00:38:29.960 --> 00:38:31.600 Are we alone in the universe? 00:38:31.600 --> 00:38:34.000 No, you're not fucking alone in the universe. 00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:36.000 And I'm coming for them too. 00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:36.700 So I guess what 00:38:36.700 --> 00:38:42.400 you could say, what started out here today as Missing Throw Brady, oh just the goofy old god 00:38:42.400 --> 00:38:45.720 Lorenzo Missing Throw Brady, oh show. 00:38:45.720 --> 00:38:50.480 And then eventually turned into a confession that I felt really fucked up about for a moment 00:38:50.480 --> 00:38:52.760 is now a warning. 00:38:52.760 --> 00:38:54.760 I've come out of the fucking shadows. 00:38:54.760 --> 00:38:57.000 I am your dark lord of the Sith. 00:38:57.000 --> 00:39:03.040 My name, I'm not ashamed of it anymore, is Darth Rapey and yes I will rape your fucking 00:39:03.040 --> 00:39:08.280 women and some of your livestock I am from the Midwest, after all. 00:39:08.280 --> 00:39:14.200 If the hooves will fit into my fucking boots, I'm coming for them and then coming in them. 00:39:14.200 --> 00:39:15.760 Stand fucking by. 00:39:15.760 --> 00:39:17.600 You've been fucking warned. 00:39:17.600 --> 00:39:18.840 Don't get in my way. 00:39:18.840 --> 00:39:22.600 If you would like to be considered, first of all, I don't need you. 00:39:22.600 --> 00:39:27.360 Let's just go into it, I'm knowing that right up front, I don't fucking need you, okay? 00:39:27.360 --> 00:39:40.780 I'm a goddamn Sith lord, a fucking not just a Sith lord, I'm the Sith lord. 00:39:40.780 --> 00:39:42.860 Don't get it twisted, I don't need you. 00:39:42.860 --> 00:39:47.820 But if you want to come along for the ride, slide into my fucking DMs, okay? 00:39:47.820 --> 00:39:54.340 Currently, currently, incidentally, and I thought about this, not all that long after I was 00:39:54.340 --> 00:40:00.940 selected as the dark lord's apprentice, this fucking going around and looking and beating 00:40:00.940 --> 00:40:07.180 the streets and trying to find the apprentice of your fucking dreams is so fucking stupid. 00:40:07.180 --> 00:40:09.940 I'm gonna use this platform. 00:40:09.940 --> 00:40:32.460 This fucking Missin' Th 00:40:32.460 --> 00:40:44.180 you will get to build a lightsaber, you will learn to use it. 00:40:44.180 --> 00:40:49.980 The only thing is you have to be available to further the fucking agenda and that agenda 00:40:49.980 --> 00:40:53.540 is literally galactic fucking domination. 00:40:53.540 --> 00:40:57.700 We're on the cusp of really launching into something fucking great. 00:40:57.700 --> 00:40:58.700 Apply. 00:40:58.700 --> 00:41:05.060 We had an apprentice, so when I open myself up to the dark side of the force to give you 00:41:05.060 --> 00:41:10.460 your name, I'm going to try to shoot for something not as fucked up as Darth Rapey, but I mean, 00:41:10.460 --> 00:41:12.180 kinda fucking is what it is. 00:41:12.180 --> 00:41:14.020 We'll do the best we can. 00:41:14.020 --> 00:41:19.420 Slide into my fucking DMs, give me all of the reasons why I should choose you to be the 00:41:19.420 --> 00:41:23.540 next dark lord of the Sith and we'll go from there. 00:41:23.540 --> 00:41:27.460 Alright, well that pretty much does it for this episode of Missin' Th're a Bradyale. 00:41:27.460 --> 00:41:32.020 I hope you are enjoying the fucking insanity episode 10. 00:41:32.020 --> 00:41:33.780 No shit, check me out. 00:41:33.780 --> 00:41:37.300 Yes, I'm not on episode 391. 00:41:37.300 --> 00:41:38.300 Will I ever get there? 00:41:38.300 --> 00:41:39.860 Fuck, I don't know. 00:41:39.860 --> 00:41:40.700 I have no idea 00:41:40.700 --> 00:41:44.100 but we are close to being done with season 1. 00:41:44.100 --> 00:41:47.820 I think I'll do two more episodes and then we will call season 1 a wrap. 00:41:47.820 --> 00:41:53.700 I'll take a little bit of time off to kind of rest and recuperate and retool and regear 00:41:53.700 --> 00:41:58.020 and relaunch for Missin' Th're a Bradyale season 2. 00:41:58.020 --> 00:42:00.180 Anyway, I hope you're digging the show. 00:42:00.180 --> 00:42:04.060 When I set out to do this, I told myself it doesn't have to be funny all the time. 00:42:04.060 --> 00:42:08.100 Sometimes it's going to be funny, sometimes it's going to not be super funny, sometimes 00:42:08.100 --> 00:42:12.620 it'll just be amusing or something fucking weird to listen to, but what I want and what 00:42:12.620 --> 00:42:17.740 I hope you take away from it and again, slide into my fucking DMs and let me know. 00:42:17.740 --> 00:42:22.700 I want it to be 30, 45 minutes that you give me every week for a little bit of fucking 00:42:22.700 --> 00:42:25.700 unreality because reality is fucking gay. 00:42:25.700 --> 00:42:28.220 You know, you can't get away from it everywhere you go. 00:42:28.220 --> 00:42:33.260 They're fucking beating reality down your throat on the TV, fucking radio, even podcasts. 00:42:33.260 --> 00:42:37.700 Most podcasts are beating you over the fucking head with the horrible condition 00:42:37.700 --> 00:42:41.180 of the fucking world and all the reasons why everything sucks. 00:42:41.180 --> 00:42:43.540 I want Missin' Th're a Bradyale to be funny, sure. 00:42:43.540 --> 00:42:44.540 I'd like it to be funny. 00:42:44.540 --> 00:42:46.460 I would also like it to be entertaining. 00:42:46.460 --> 00:42:51.540 That would be great, but more than anything else, I want it to be a little fucking stroll 00:42:51.540 --> 00:42:55.660 through unreality just for a while. 00:42:55.660 --> 00:43:01.300 Something you can just turn your brain off and casually enjoy. 00:43:01.300 --> 00:43:04.300 Hopefully, I'm not missing the mark on that. 00:43:04.300 --> 00:43:05.940 Alright, until next time.