WEBVTT 00:00:03.020 --> 00:00:06.940 Welcome to our show. 00:00:06.940 --> 00:00:09.960 Today we will be discussing Missenthrope Radio and specifically... 00:00:09.960 --> 00:00:13.810 You're an Zeus Biggik. 00:00:13.810 --> 00:00:18.450 I was told that in some circles my cock has referred to as Jew Pride. 00:00:18.450 --> 00:00:24.520 Missenthrope Radio starts now. 00:00:24.520 --> 00:00:29.720 Welcome to the season 2 premiere of Missenthrope Radio. 00:00:29.720 --> 00:00:33.800 Why does everything take so fucking long? 00:00:33.800 --> 00:00:35.360 Have you noticed that? 00:00:35.360 --> 00:00:37.960 And maybe this is just something that comes with age. 00:00:37.960 --> 00:00:41.360 I'm not in my 20s, 30s or even my 40s. 00:00:41.360 --> 00:00:44.720 I just turned 50 not too long ago. 00:00:44.720 --> 00:00:50.280 And while this is not necessarily something new for me, as I get older, all I can think 00:00:50.280 --> 00:00:54.440 about is why does everything take so fucking long. 00:00:54.440 --> 00:01:01.040 It feels like as I get older the world around me is becoming more inefficient than it was 00:01:01.040 --> 00:01:02.040 before. 00:01:02.040 --> 00:01:07.240 And I really believe in my fucking heart that it's by design. 00:01:07.240 --> 00:01:10.960 The 10 minute oil change is now a 30 minute oil change. 00:01:10.960 --> 00:01:15.440 There's no such thing anymore as running through the drive-through at McDonald's. 00:01:15.440 --> 00:01:19.500 You're going to be in that line or you're going to be pulled over to the side for at 00:01:19.500 --> 00:01:21.060 least 10 minutes. 00:01:21.060 --> 00:01:26.700 And God forbid you go inside because their corporate fucking ethos says that the drive-through 00:01:26.700 --> 00:01:28.260 is their priority. 00:01:28.260 --> 00:01:31.020 You're not going to get your food any faster inside. 00:01:31.020 --> 00:01:35.820 You're just going to have to listen to shitty fucking classic country music while sitting 00:01:35.820 --> 00:01:41.640 on uncomfortable, uncleaned fucking furniture in a dining room that's 15 degrees to fucking 00:01:41.640 --> 00:01:46.780 cold with your feet sticking to the fucking floor because they use the same mop that they 00:01:46.780 --> 00:01:51.220 mop the fucking and disgusting greasy kitchen out in the dining room. 00:01:51.220 --> 00:01:55.980 Show up to your doctor's appointment 15 minutes early so they can have the peace of mind 00:01:55.980 --> 00:01:59.620 of knowing that their meal ticket is in the building. 00:01:59.620 --> 00:02:01.740 And they'll get to you when they can. 00:02:01.740 --> 00:02:07.380 45 minutes later, sometimes an hour after your scheduled appointment time, they finally 00:02:07.380 --> 00:02:09.060 call you back. 00:02:09.060 --> 00:02:13.580 Everything is more inefficient now than it ever has been in my opinion. 00:02:13.580 --> 00:02:19.420 I cannot imagine a time in America that's been more inefficient than it is right now. 00:02:19.420 --> 00:02:20.940 The bus is late. 00:02:20.940 --> 00:02:22.620 The subway is late. 00:02:22.620 --> 00:02:27.100 Banks even are rarely unlocking their doors exactly on time anymore. 00:02:27.100 --> 00:02:29.740 Nobody is open on time. 00:02:29.740 --> 00:02:33.340 Nothing is happening in a timely manner anymore. 00:02:33.340 --> 00:02:35.500 What the fuck changed? 00:02:35.500 --> 00:02:38.060 Why does everything take so fucking long? 00:02:38.060 --> 00:02:40.780 And I say it's by design because I think it is. 00:02:40.780 --> 00:02:42.260 Think about it like this. 00:02:42.260 --> 00:02:49.700 If you're just a regular working man, what part of your day actually operates on your schedule? 00:02:49.700 --> 00:02:50.860 Is there anything? 00:02:50.860 --> 00:02:51.940 No. 00:02:51.940 --> 00:02:56.780 Everything in your life is fucking predicated on somebody else's level of motivation. 00:02:56.780 --> 00:03:02.380 Somebody else's fucking corporate talking points and somebody else's piss poor attitude. 00:03:02.380 --> 00:03:07.060 For example, I was at my favorite fucking fast food restaurant the other day. 00:03:07.060 --> 00:03:08.060 Arbys. 00:03:08.060 --> 00:03:09.420 They have the fucking meats. 00:03:09.420 --> 00:03:14.300 Now as you may have figured out by the way this fucking bit is starting out, I'm very 00:03:14.300 --> 00:03:18.300 conscious of the amount of time that things take me to accomplish. 00:03:18.300 --> 00:03:19.300 Did I say that right? 00:03:19.300 --> 00:03:21.540 The amount of time that things take me to accomplish. 00:03:21.540 --> 00:03:23.540 Yeah, I said that right. 00:03:23.540 --> 00:03:28.420 I'm very conscious of the amount of time I spend accomplishing tasks. 00:03:28.420 --> 00:03:32.940 This particular task was me feeding myself before I was going to be going to the high school 00:03:32.940 --> 00:03:33.940 football game. 00:03:33.940 --> 00:03:39.020 I decided to go into Arbys because I've been fucked in their drive through too many times. 00:03:39.020 --> 00:03:43.220 I walk in, I walk up to the counter and this is the exchange now. 00:03:43.220 --> 00:03:48.140 Pay very close attention to what I say after I'm greeted. 00:03:48.140 --> 00:03:50.880 Hi, welcome to Arbys. 00:03:50.880 --> 00:03:52.820 What can we make fresh for you today? 00:03:52.820 --> 00:03:57.900 I would like a number two combo double meat with medium curly fries and a large coke. 00:03:57.900 --> 00:04:01.340 And can I please get some horsey sauce in the bag? 00:04:01.340 --> 00:04:02.340 Pretty good, right? 00:04:02.340 --> 00:04:03.340 I know. 00:04:03.340 --> 00:04:06.100 I had my entire order in my head ready to go. 00:04:06.100 --> 00:04:11.060 So when I was given the opportunity to speak, I did so in a very efficient manner. 00:04:11.060 --> 00:04:13.540 Now this is what happened afterwardss. 00:04:13.540 --> 00:04:14.940 You said a number two? 00:04:14.940 --> 00:04:15.940 Yes. 00:04:15.940 --> 00:04:16.940 Did you say double meat? 00:04:16.940 --> 00:04:17.940 Yes I did. 00:04:17.940 --> 00:04:18.940 Did you want cheese on that? 00:04:18.940 --> 00:04:22.220 No, if I wanted cheese, I would have ordered a number one. 00:04:22.220 --> 00:04:25.340 A number one is a number two but with cheese. 00:04:25.340 --> 00:04:27.180 So no, I don't want cheese. 00:04:27.180 --> 00:04:28.180 Okay. 00:04:28.180 --> 00:04:30.020 And you said you wanted curly fries. 00:04:30.020 --> 00:04:31.900 Would you like those medium or large? 00:04:31.900 --> 00:04:34.020 I already said I wanted the medium. 00:04:34.020 --> 00:04:35.380 Oh yeah, that's right. 00:04:35.380 --> 00:04:36.980 And you said you wanted a medium. 00:04:36.980 --> 00:04:39.620 No ma'am, I said I wanted a large coke. 00:04:39.620 --> 00:04:41.500 Oh yeah, okay, large coke. 00:04:41.500 --> 00:04:48.620 So I have a number two, double meat, medium curly fries, and a large coke. 00:04:48.620 --> 00:04:50.060 Would you like any sauces? 00:04:50.060 --> 00:04:53.180 I already told you I wanted horsey sauce in the bag. 00:04:53.180 --> 00:04:55.420 Okay, horsey sauce in the bag. 00:04:55.420 --> 00:04:59.180 Would you care for one of our fresh baked cookies or one of our fried pies? 00:04:59.180 --> 00:05:00.180 No thank you. 00:05:00.180 --> 00:05:03.140 And would you like to round up to support area kids? 00:05:03.140 --> 00:05:04.140 Oh they're fucker. 00:05:04.140 --> 00:05:07.380 No, I don't want to round up to support area kids. 00:05:07.380 --> 00:05:09.100 Oh, well okay. 00:05:09.100 --> 00:05:10.900 Will this be cash or card? 00:05:10.900 --> 00:05:12.660 My card is already in the reader. 00:05:12.660 --> 00:05:15.620 Okay, here's your receipt, your order number five twenty two. 00:05:15.620 --> 00:05:17.580 We'll have that out for you shortly. 00:05:17.580 --> 00:05:19.380 You see what I'm saying? 00:05:19.380 --> 00:05:22.380 Everything takes so fucking long. 00:05:22.380 --> 00:05:27.820 Now even the most simple transaction of just ordering a fucking meal so you can get to 00:05:27.820 --> 00:05:32.220 the next place you need to go takes so fucking long. 00:05:32.220 --> 00:05:35.340 There is no such thing as fast fucking food anymore. 00:05:35.340 --> 00:05:39.540 That entire transaction was infuriating when she greeted me. 00:05:39.540 --> 00:05:45.060 I immediately gave her every piece of information she needed in order to complete the transaction 00:05:45.060 --> 00:05:48.700 without saying another fucking word. 00:05:48.700 --> 00:05:54.640 But instead what happened was she didn't pay attention to a fucking word I said and 00:05:54.640 --> 00:05:59.860 I ended up having to walk her through each fucking detail that I had already fucking 00:05:59.860 --> 00:06:01.020 stated. 00:06:01.020 --> 00:06:05.660 And then she had to try to fucking upsell me her fucking disgusting Arby's desserts. 00:06:05.660 --> 00:06:09.300 And then she had to try to fucking get me to round up in order to support some fucking 00:06:09.300 --> 00:06:11.020 nameless charity. 00:06:11.020 --> 00:06:15.900 That Arby's rather than fucking making a donation themselves is trying to pass along to the 00:06:15.900 --> 00:06:16.980 consumer. 00:06:16.980 --> 00:06:21.580 These people at all of these businesses pimping me to fucking round up drives me nuts. 00:06:21.580 --> 00:06:27.300 Anyway, the only ones who have a fucking leg to stand on when it comes to rounding up 00:06:27.300 --> 00:06:28.420 is McDonald's. 00:06:28.420 --> 00:06:33.260 They have their own fucking charity, Ronald McDonald's house, world famous, everybody 00:06:33.260 --> 00:06:34.260 knows about it. 00:06:34.260 --> 00:06:39.660 And by all accounts it seems to be a pretty fucking straightforward and good charity. 00:06:39.660 --> 00:06:42.740 Taco Bell has some kind of weird fucking scholarship fund. 00:06:42.740 --> 00:06:46.020 Arby's is trying to provide something for fucking kids but they're not going to tell you 00:06:46.020 --> 00:06:47.020 what it is. 00:06:47.020 --> 00:06:49.500 And they're passing that bullshit off to the consumer. 00:06:49.500 --> 00:06:53.060 Arby's Taco Bell Burger King, you motherfuckers. 00:06:53.060 --> 00:06:57.700 If you want to affiliate with some fucking charity, then fucking do so. 00:06:57.700 --> 00:06:59.660 And leave me the fuck out of it. 00:06:59.660 --> 00:07:04.180 Why don't you take a portion of the fucking proceeds and make your charitable donation 00:07:04.180 --> 00:07:06.540 and stop fucking bothering people? 00:07:06.540 --> 00:07:11.780 Or raise the price of everything on the menu three cents so you can then give your 00:07:11.780 --> 00:07:16.260 fucking donation without having to come out of your own pockets to give it. 00:07:16.260 --> 00:07:17.780 Stop being fucking weird. 00:07:17.780 --> 00:07:21.740 Why are you making me feel like an asshole because I say I don't want to round up every 00:07:21.740 --> 00:07:23.820 fucking time I'm there? 00:07:23.820 --> 00:07:26.020 Sometimes I round up, sometimes I don't. 00:07:26.020 --> 00:07:29.860 But I don't feel like I should get fucking pressured and have some fucking mole-faced 00:07:29.860 --> 00:07:36.980 overweight fucking 45 year old goddamn Arby's clerk looking over her fucking weird 1987 00:07:36.980 --> 00:07:41.900 glasses at me because I said I don't want to fucking round up that day. 00:07:41.900 --> 00:07:42.900 Fuck you. 00:07:42.900 --> 00:07:47.170 I'm getting off track. 00:07:47.170 --> 00:07:52.490 The rounding up in the bullshit charities is not why I'm mad. 00:07:52.490 --> 00:07:54.250 Not why I'm talking about this today. 00:07:54.250 --> 00:08:00.370 No, I'm talking about this today because that fucking Arby's transaction took way too 00:08:00.370 --> 00:08:01.370 fucking long. 00:08:01.370 --> 00:08:04.010 It required way too much fucking effort. 00:08:04.010 --> 00:08:09.210 It took way too many fucking words and it is all by design. 00:08:09.210 --> 00:08:11.410 Have you been to a gas station lately? 00:08:11.410 --> 00:08:14.250 I drive the truck that gets 15 miles per gallon. 00:08:14.250 --> 00:08:16.690 I'm at gas stations all the fucking time. 00:08:16.690 --> 00:08:25.730 Here's how 00:09:25.730 --> 00:09:28.210 I'm absolutely will, Chad. 00:09:28.210 --> 00:09:30.010 Will that be cash or card? 00:09:30.010 --> 00:09:31.010 Fuck. 00:09:31.010 --> 00:09:32.010 The card's already in the reader, Chad. 00:09:32.010 --> 00:09:33.010 Oh, right. 00:09:33.010 --> 00:09:34.010 Yeah. 00:09:34.010 --> 00:09:35.010 Okay, bro, you're good to go. 00:09:35.010 --> 00:09:36.010 Do you need a receipt? 00:09:36.010 --> 00:09:37.010 No, thank you, Chad. 00:09:37.010 --> 00:09:39.570 And then I turned around and went outside and pumped my fucking outside and pumped my 00:09:39.570 --> 00:09:41.570 fucking outside. 00:09:41.570 --> 00:09:42.570 Inferiorating. 00:09:42.570 --> 00:09:43.570 Took too long. 00:09:43.570 --> 00:09:45.610 Entirely too many fucking words. 00:09:45.610 --> 00:09:49.370 What the fuck happened to the days when you went to the gas station and the fucking gas 00:09:49.370 --> 00:09:52.050 station attendant didn't even speak to you? 00:09:52.050 --> 00:09:53.970 Don't make me start missing quirky. 00:09:53.970 --> 00:09:55.490 That's what I'm saying. 00:09:55.490 --> 00:09:59.650 The rude cocksucker gas station attendant at the other fucking fueling station in town. 00:09:59.650 --> 00:10:04.090 I don't like the quality of their fuel so if I have to get gas, I go to the fucking 00:10:04.090 --> 00:10:06.010 conico here in town. 00:10:06.010 --> 00:10:10.610 Gimme gasoline from a company that specializes in making fucking gasoline. 00:10:10.610 --> 00:10:11.610 You see what I'm saying? 00:10:11.610 --> 00:10:13.850 But that conversation took too long. 00:10:13.850 --> 00:10:15.490 Took too many fucking words. 00:10:15.490 --> 00:10:18.210 15 years ago you walk in there, you set your shit down. 00:10:18.210 --> 00:10:20.290 The guy doesn't even look at you, rings you up. 00:10:20.290 --> 00:10:25.170 You say you need 25 bucks in gas, he punches it in, nods his head at the fucking card 00:10:25.170 --> 00:10:26.970 reader in a way you go. 00:10:26.970 --> 00:10:29.490 And that was absolutely fucking perfect. 00:10:29.490 --> 00:10:31.810 I don't know what the fuck happened. 00:10:31.810 --> 00:10:38.090 What the fuck changed in our society that now everything requires so many fucking words. 00:10:38.090 --> 00:10:39.090 Another example. 00:10:39.090 --> 00:10:43.210 One of my employees called in sick today for tomorrow. 00:10:43.210 --> 00:10:44.210 Okay? 00:10:44.210 --> 00:10:47.370 Let me walk you through how that fucking conversation went. 00:10:47.370 --> 00:10:51.210 Hey Lorenzo, I'm not going to be able to come to work tomorrow. 00:10:51.210 --> 00:10:52.210 I'm sick. 00:10:52.210 --> 00:10:53.210 Like really bad sick. 00:10:53.210 --> 00:10:56.050 I've got like a fucking chest thing going on. 00:10:56.050 --> 00:11:01.050 And every time I call stuff comes up and my nose is running nonstop and then I have like 00:11:01.050 --> 00:11:04.690 kind of a fever but like only on the right side of my face. 00:11:04.690 --> 00:11:09.370 It's like a face fever but only like and it's not even like my fucking nose. 00:11:09.370 --> 00:11:13.170 It's like my cheek and my in my eye and my fucking temple. 00:11:13.170 --> 00:11:15.650 I've got a fever only in those places. 00:11:15.650 --> 00:11:20.290 It's bizarre and I try to get into the doctor but it's like Sunday so I can't but I'm not 00:11:20.290 --> 00:11:21.690 going to be able to come to work tomorrow. 00:11:21.690 --> 00:11:22.690 I don't think. 00:11:22.690 --> 00:11:26.730 But I can though I'll let you know but I just wanted to give you a heads up and let you 00:11:26.730 --> 00:11:29.290 know that I'm probably not going to be there tomorrow. 00:11:29.290 --> 00:11:31.850 Okay well thanks for calling get to feeling better. 00:11:31.850 --> 00:11:34.050 I will but like I don't want you to be mad. 00:11:34.050 --> 00:11:35.050 That's the thing. 00:11:35.050 --> 00:11:37.930 I don't want you to get mad at me and like hold it against me because like everybody 00:11:37.930 --> 00:11:39.650 gets sick you know. 00:11:39.650 --> 00:11:43.730 Everybody gets sick sometimes and yeah I've been sick more than most people I guess but 00:11:43.730 --> 00:11:47.290 I've got a fever on like one third of my head. 00:11:47.290 --> 00:11:51.490 The other two thirds is pretty okay but that one third is crazy and I think I have 00:11:51.490 --> 00:11:56.690 like a boil or something coming up right below my eye and I don't understand what that's 00:11:56.690 --> 00:11:57.690 about either. 00:11:57.690 --> 00:12:01.530 If you need pictures I'll send you pictures to show you that I am truly sick. 00:12:01.530 --> 00:12:03.410 Like I didn't even curl my hair today. 00:12:03.410 --> 00:12:07.330 No it's fine I don't need photo evidence just get to feeling better and then. 00:12:07.330 --> 00:12:11.250 Oh I knew it you finally mad at me like I knew that this was going to happen because 00:12:11.250 --> 00:12:15.810 I called in sick sometimes but I've got a bad back and I have roomatoid arthritis and 00:12:15.810 --> 00:12:18.530 I have carpal tunnel syndrome and sleep apnea. 00:12:18.530 --> 00:12:23.250 My last doctor told me that all I needed to do was lose weight and like start exercising so I 00:12:23.250 --> 00:12:26.170 fucking fired him and then he died like shortly thereafter right? 00:12:26.170 --> 00:12:30.050 Like he's fucking giving me advice on how to be healthy and then he fucking dies. 00:12:30.050 --> 00:12:31.050 Fuck you doc. 00:12:31.050 --> 00:12:35.330 So I went and got another doctor who gave me all of these fucking pain killers and all this medicine 00:12:35.330 --> 00:12:41.090 and stuff all these anti-inflammatories and stuff to keep my roomatoid arthritis and check but now I've got a fever. 00:12:41.090 --> 00:12:45.850 Like on a third of my head just only a third it's so weird it's so bizarre. 00:12:45.850 --> 00:12:49.530 I'll send you pictures if you don't believe me Lorenzo you're not saying anything. 00:12:49.530 --> 00:12:52.970 You have to I just don't want to lose this job. 00:12:52.970 --> 00:12:56.570 I don't want to lose this job man it's all I have it's everything. 00:12:56.570 --> 00:12:59.930 No it's fine get to feeling better and then come back. 00:12:59.930 --> 00:13:01.210 You're gonna fire me aren't you? 00:13:01.210 --> 00:13:05.850 I know it you're gonna fire me just wait I'll show you I'll bring in all the documentation that you need. 00:13:05.850 --> 00:13:08.970 Do I have to go to the doctor though I don't really have enough for the copay. 00:13:08.970 --> 00:13:11.770 I've just got like this fever and this gnarly chest thing. 00:13:11.770 --> 00:13:13.490 I don't call in much do I? 00:13:13.490 --> 00:13:43.490 You've called in four, 00:13:43.490 --> 00:13:46.130 really all that we need to talk about have a good night. 00:13:46.130 --> 00:13:47.250 Just don't fire me. 00:13:47.250 --> 00:13:52.850 I would love to tell you that I was joking that it didn't really go down like that that that was a fucking dramatization 00:13:52.850 --> 00:13:58.930 but that really is as close to what actually happened as I can reasonably give you. 00:13:58.930 --> 00:14:05.650 People are fucking crazy everything takes so long and everything requires so many fucking words. 00:14:05.650 --> 00:14:07.650 So many fucking words. 00:14:07.650 --> 00:14:13.810 Here I am running a fucking podcast where all I do is fucking throw words at you and I'm telling you 00:14:13.810 --> 00:14:19.090 that in order to navigate my normal fucking life I have to hear way too many fucking words 00:14:19.090 --> 00:14:21.970 from people who have no business giving them out. 00:14:21.970 --> 00:14:26.450 Everything is designed to take up the maximum amount of your time possible. 00:14:26.450 --> 00:14:29.970 The really damaging part in my mind is that there's no solution. 00:14:30.610 --> 00:14:35.650 Now everything is designed nowadays to eat up the maximum amount of your time 00:14:35.650 --> 00:14:41.570 in order to literally just fucking keep you engaged or to drain you for more money. 00:14:41.570 --> 00:14:43.250 Ordering food at Arby's. 00:14:43.250 --> 00:14:46.770 Talking to the employee who just needed to call in sick. 00:14:46.770 --> 00:14:48.850 Maximum words used. 00:14:48.850 --> 00:14:50.530 Minimum words needed. 00:14:50.530 --> 00:14:54.210 Maximum time wasted. Minimum time required. 00:14:54.210 --> 00:14:56.210 I don't have any solutions for you. 00:14:56.210 --> 00:14:59.890 This isn't one of these times where Lorenzo's gonna sit down point out something 00:14:59.890 --> 00:15:05.650 that you probably haven't fucking realized yet and then tell you exactly how to remedy it in your life. 00:15:05.650 --> 00:15:08.370 I'm sure that there will be times when I do that for you. 00:15:08.370 --> 00:15:13.410 I'm sure if you listen to season one I probably did it a few times in season one. 00:15:13.410 --> 00:15:16.290 Handed you a quality of life solution. 00:15:16.290 --> 00:15:18.210 There is no fucking solution here. 00:15:19.090 --> 00:15:19.730 None. 00:15:19.730 --> 00:15:21.730 There's nothing you can fucking do. 00:15:21.730 --> 00:15:24.210 Everything is designed to waste your time. 00:15:24.210 --> 00:15:27.410 Look at the gas station interaction by itself. 00:15:27.410 --> 00:15:30.210 I walked in to pay for my fuel and I had to talk to that 00:15:30.210 --> 00:15:32.050 that motherfucker for four minutes. 00:15:32.050 --> 00:15:35.490 If I would have paid for my fuel out at the fucking pump 00:15:35.490 --> 00:15:39.090 I would have had to answer a series of six fucking questions 00:15:39.090 --> 00:15:41.970 in order to be able to fucking fuel up the vehicle. 00:15:41.970 --> 00:15:43.090 You see what I'm saying? 00:15:43.090 --> 00:15:44.610 There's no way around it. 00:15:44.610 --> 00:15:46.450 They're either gonna try to upsell you. 00:15:46.450 --> 00:15:49.330 They're going to try to fucking get you to sign up for something. 00:15:49.330 --> 00:15:52.210 They're gonna try to get you to contribute to fucking something. 00:15:52.210 --> 00:15:56.130 Or they just simply want your fucking time. 00:15:56.130 --> 00:15:57.890 There is no solution. 00:15:57.890 --> 00:15:59.970 Welcome to the fucking teradome. 00:15:59.970 --> 00:16:01.170 And you know what? Let me know. 00:16:01.170 --> 00:16:04.770 If I'm off base and I'm fucking losing my shite here for no reason 00:16:04.770 --> 00:16:09.250 and I'm really reading into shit or I'm really extrapolating too much 00:16:09.250 --> 00:16:13.410 or this is the way it's always been and I just never fucking noticed before 00:16:13.410 --> 00:16:15.410 which I don't think that that's true. 00:16:15.410 --> 00:16:18.450 If you know anything about me you know I would have fucking noticed. 00:16:18.450 --> 00:16:21.170 I'm off base or if I'm being an asshole 00:16:21.170 --> 00:16:22.530 let me fucking know. 00:16:22.530 --> 00:16:25.570 Lorenzo people just want to talk to you about stuff. 00:16:25.570 --> 00:16:27.650 They're just trying to provide better service. 00:16:27.650 --> 00:16:29.810 Stop being a fucking dick. 00:16:29.810 --> 00:16:32.850 I'll take that on board but I don't think I'm being a dick here. 00:16:32.850 --> 00:16:36.050 I think that they're literally eating up significant portions 00:16:36.050 --> 00:16:39.010 of the remaining time I have left on this fucking earth 00:16:39.010 --> 00:16:41.650 with talking about goddamn coupons 00:16:41.730 --> 00:16:45.490 and pinpin' me to contribute to some nameless fucking charity. 00:16:45.490 --> 00:16:46.450 Fuck you! 00:16:46.450 --> 00:16:49.650 Fuck those fucking ass kids and your fucking weird charity. 00:16:50.530 --> 00:16:54.450 Anyway that's all it's just an observation or a series of observations 00:16:54.450 --> 00:16:57.330 I should say that I've had over the last you know few years 00:16:57.330 --> 00:16:59.650 and it's really starting to fucking get to me. 00:16:59.650 --> 00:17:01.410 Okay, onto the next segment. 00:17:02.370 --> 00:17:04.290 Welcome to the Boomerbunker podcast. 00:17:04.290 --> 00:17:07.170 Straight out of Jersey where we don't sugarcoat a damn thing. 00:17:07.170 --> 00:17:08.690 We call it like we see it. 00:17:08.690 --> 00:17:11.090 Loud, proud with a side of attitude. 00:17:11.170 --> 00:17:13.730 Politics, culture, everyday nonsense. 00:17:13.730 --> 00:17:14.690 Forget about it. 00:17:14.690 --> 00:17:15.730 We're diving in. 00:17:15.730 --> 00:17:18.530 If you want polite and polished, go listen somewhere else. 00:17:18.530 --> 00:17:21.490 But if you want real talk, Jersey grit and laughs. 00:17:21.490 --> 00:17:23.970 This is your spot, the BoomeriBunker podcast. 00:17:23.970 --> 00:17:25.490 Jersey tough Boomer Bold. 00:17:25.490 --> 00:17:28.930 Check us out at Boomerbunker.com or listen wherever you get your podcasts. 00:17:30.850 --> 00:17:32.370 Segment 2 00:17:32.370 --> 00:17:40.210 Welcome to Dibshit and ChuckleFuck in the morning. 00:17:40.210 --> 00:17:42.770 I'm Dibshit and I'm ChuckleFuck. 00:17:42.770 --> 00:17:45.650 If you're tuning in for the first time and you don't know anything 00:17:45.650 --> 00:17:48.930 about us, let me give you a little backstory. 00:17:48.930 --> 00:17:51.090 We were doing fucking radio. 00:17:51.090 --> 00:17:52.530 Actual radio. 00:17:52.530 --> 00:17:53.970 Like in your car. 00:17:53.970 --> 00:17:57.730 We were working at a radio station in Waterloo, Iowa 00:17:57.730 --> 00:18:01.410 when ChuckleFuck over here said the word cunt on the radio. 00:18:01.410 --> 00:18:03.090 You can't do that, Chuckles. 00:18:03.090 --> 00:18:04.210 Oh, god damn it. 00:18:04.210 --> 00:18:05.490 I know that now. 00:18:05.490 --> 00:18:08.370 Yup, ChuckleFuck said the word cunt on the radio 00:18:08.370 --> 00:18:11.650 and that was basically the end of our radio career. 00:18:11.650 --> 00:18:14.690 But what we decided to do is we were going to go ahead 00:18:14.690 --> 00:18:18.050 and start as a fucking podcast in a stream. 00:18:18.050 --> 00:18:21.490 Thankfully the entire Dibshit and ChuckleFuck fanbase 00:18:21.490 --> 00:18:25.250 is slowly starting to filter in and join the party. 00:18:25.250 --> 00:18:26.770 What kind of party are you asking? 00:18:26.770 --> 00:18:30.370 Well, let me tell you, matter of fact, let me have ChuckleFuck tell you. 00:18:30.370 --> 00:18:33.970 Chuckles, why don't you tell them about the non-stop fucking party? 00:18:33.970 --> 00:18:38.210 We got going on over here on Dibshit and ChuckleFuck in the morning. 00:18:38.210 --> 00:18:41.330 Well, you go ahead and you tune in at six o'clock central time 00:18:41.330 --> 00:18:43.010 and we're going to be doing our morning show 00:18:43.010 --> 00:18:45.810 just like we did it on the radio, except now we can say 00:18:45.810 --> 00:18:51.650 fuck, cunt, shit, pussy, son of a bitch, cock, sucker, and god damn. 00:18:51.650 --> 00:18:54.370 No FCC could fuck with us anymore 00:18:54.370 --> 00:18:58.050 and we've got a whole extravaganza lined up for you. 00:18:58.050 --> 00:18:59.250 Don't we, Dibshit? 00:18:59.250 --> 00:19:00.130 We sure do. 00:19:00.130 --> 00:19:04.530 Let me tell you about the extravaganza that we have lined up for you today. 00:19:04.530 --> 00:19:09.490 We've got our two favorite girls, sugar tits and milk knockers lined up here 00:19:09.490 --> 00:19:14.210 to fucking wrestle to the death in a kidney pool filled with Chris Go 00:19:14.210 --> 00:19:17.730 and when I say to the death, I mean actually to the death, 00:19:17.730 --> 00:19:21.090 but before we get to any of that, we got to make our number. 00:19:24.210 --> 00:19:28.450 The content that we're putting out is worth something it has value. 00:19:28.450 --> 00:19:29.170 Okay? 00:19:29.170 --> 00:19:33.650 And in order for us to keep on doing this fucking podcast and this stream, 00:19:33.650 --> 00:19:35.650 we've got to make our money. 00:19:35.650 --> 00:19:36.610 Does that make sense? 00:19:36.610 --> 00:19:40.370 And it's not for me and it's not for chuckle fuck over there. 00:19:40.370 --> 00:19:44.690 It's for the people who help us put on this show day in and day out. 00:19:44.690 --> 00:19:47.250 Me and chuckle fuck have already made our money. 00:19:47.250 --> 00:19:48.050 Yeah, that's right. 00:19:48.050 --> 00:19:51.970 It's for the producers and it's for the fucking ladies with the tits over there 00:19:51.970 --> 00:19:53.730 that are getting very wrestle to the death. 00:19:53.730 --> 00:19:54.450 It's for them. 00:19:54.450 --> 00:19:55.730 It ain't for us. 00:19:55.730 --> 00:19:57.170 So we got to make our number. 00:19:57.170 --> 00:20:00.210 And our number today is 260 dollars. 00:20:00.210 --> 00:20:03.090 Now what we're going to do is we're not going to do any content 00:20:03.090 --> 00:20:09.010 and we're just going to turn this into a giant fucking begging telephone until you give us the money 00:20:09.010 --> 00:20:10.130 that we're looking for. 00:20:10.130 --> 00:20:13.010 There's $10 right there from Cunti Cunt Bag. 00:20:13.010 --> 00:20:13.810 Thank you. 00:20:13.810 --> 00:20:16.770 There's another $15 from Sisters Cunt. 00:20:16.770 --> 00:20:17.890 Thanks a lot. 00:20:17.890 --> 00:20:21.010 Why we just got $6 over here from Danny. 00:20:21.010 --> 00:20:22.290 $6 Danny? 00:20:22.290 --> 00:20:23.490 That's all you could fucking do. 00:20:23.490 --> 00:20:26.130 That's all you could really spare Danny. 00:20:26.130 --> 00:20:29.650 $6 for your buddies, dip shit and chuckle fuck here. 00:20:29.730 --> 00:20:32.770 We're going to be entertaining y'all morning long until 10 a.m. 00:20:32.770 --> 00:20:35.570 Central time and all that's worth to you is $6. 00:20:35.570 --> 00:20:37.170 We'll fuck you Danny.. 00:20:37.170 --> 00:20:38.130 Fuck you buddy. 00:20:38.130 --> 00:20:41.490 I don't know what kind of life you live, but we're over here in the struggle. 00:20:41.490 --> 00:20:45.090 We're in the fight and you're saying that we're only worth $6. 00:20:45.090 --> 00:20:46.530 You're a cock sucker Danny. 00:20:46.530 --> 00:20:49.650 You're a cock sucker and your sister fucks the blacks. 00:20:49.650 --> 00:20:50.290 That's right. 00:20:50.290 --> 00:20:52.050 I heard you fucks the blacks. 00:20:52.050 --> 00:20:57.330 Okay, Danny just came back in with another $15 that puts you up to 21 for the day. 00:20:57.330 --> 00:20:58.130 Thank you Danny. 00:20:58.130 --> 00:21:00.370 Thank you for helping get us towards our goal. 00:21:00.370 --> 00:21:03.890 I'm sorry that I said that your sister is a whore for the blacks. 00:21:03.890 --> 00:21:05.250 I'm sorry that I said that. 00:21:05.250 --> 00:21:08.610 I was just heated in the moment because you know we're struggling here. 00:21:08.610 --> 00:21:09.650 We're trying. 00:21:09.650 --> 00:21:13.490 Okay, we're really trying to bring this content to you every day. 00:21:14.530 --> 00:21:17.650 Do you understand what you're listening to right now? 00:21:17.650 --> 00:21:21.090 I probably should have prefaced it with a little bit of an explanation 00:21:21.090 --> 00:21:26.610 before I just launched into the fucking dramatization of what I'm going to talk about today. 00:21:26.610 --> 00:21:30.050 This is entirely the fault incidentally of John Jemingo. 00:21:30.690 --> 00:21:36.370 I honestly would not have known that this is something that actually takes place in the 00:21:36.370 --> 00:21:41.570 fucking world had Jemingo not gone on a screaming fucking rant about it on something. 00:21:42.370 --> 00:21:42.850 Something. 00:21:42.850 --> 00:21:52.630 I 00:22:00.530 --> 00:22:06.290 In any way, shape or form, you have run across the dip shit and chuckle fuck show 00:22:06.290 --> 00:22:10.210 or one just like it and probably not even realized it. 00:22:10.850 --> 00:22:16.290 What you just heard there and dip shit gave you a fairly accurate fucking description of 00:22:16.290 --> 00:22:18.930 the phenomenon that I'm going to go into today. 00:22:18.930 --> 00:22:23.330 What you just heard there was dip shit and chuckle fuck in the morning got 00:22:23.330 --> 00:22:27.970 fucking fired from their job in Bumble fuck Iowa and decided, well, 00:22:27.970 --> 00:22:34.610 fuck radio these motherfuckers, I'm going to take my fucking show directly to the internet. 00:22:34.690 --> 00:22:39.410 As a means incidentally, I think they all have this in mind as a 00:22:39.410 --> 00:22:45.570 a means of being able to show potential new employers in terrestrial radio that 00:22:45.570 --> 00:22:52.370 I have all of these listeners that followed me from my last job on to the fucking internet 00:22:52.370 --> 00:22:56.930 and will follow me to the job you're going to give me. 00:22:56.930 --> 00:22:59.330 I think that's what they fucking have in mind. 00:22:59.330 --> 00:23:01.410 But it doesn't really work out like that. 00:23:01.410 --> 00:23:05.250 Radio people losing their fucking radio jobs going to the internet 00:23:05.890 --> 00:23:10.450 and then continuing to try to do their radio show while also 00:23:10.450 --> 00:23:15.170 brow beating their fucking audience into giving them money directly from their pockets 00:23:15.170 --> 00:23:19.410 in addition to squeezing any bit of advertising revenue they can out of the 00:23:19.410 --> 00:23:24.210 fucking platforms that they're working with and horing themselves out in any way 00:23:24.210 --> 00:23:26.290 they possibly can in order to make a buck. 00:23:26.930 --> 00:23:29.330 Why you ask? Why would they fucking do that? 00:23:29.330 --> 00:23:34.210 Why go to all the effort? Why alienate your fans and also fucking 00:23:34.210 --> 00:23:38.850 turn off anyone who happens to stumble across your show by bludgeoning them over 00:23:38.850 --> 00:23:43.250 they head with five minutes of fucking commercials before they even hear you speak 00:23:43.250 --> 00:23:46.450 for the first time. Why would any podcaster do that? 00:23:46.450 --> 00:23:49.330 Well, there really is only one reason. 00:23:49.330 --> 00:23:54.290 Current and former radio people are entering the world of podcasting and streaming 00:23:54.290 --> 00:23:57.410 and holding daily fucking telephones to raise money 00:23:57.410 --> 00:24:00.690 and withholding content if they don't fucking make their money 00:24:01.410 --> 00:24:07.330 and selling every fucking second of air quotes airtime that they can to anybody who will advertise 00:24:07.330 --> 00:24:12.210 on their shitty little fucking podcast and horing themselves out for sponsorships 00:24:12.210 --> 00:24:18.130 and personal appearances and they're doing all of that all of that for one fucking reason 00:24:18.130 --> 00:24:22.610 and one reason alone. They're doing it because they're afraid. 00:24:23.490 --> 00:24:28.130 It's fear. It's plain unadulterated fucking fear. 00:24:28.930 --> 00:24:34.690 Fear of being irrelevant. Fear of fading away and not being quasi-famous in your fucking 00:24:34.690 --> 00:24:41.650 dumpy little shitbox 68,000 person town. Fear of being just like everyone else 00:24:41.650 --> 00:24:46.370 and primarily and most importantly a fear of having to get a real job. 00:24:47.490 --> 00:24:50.770 I'm not joking. It sounds fucking preposterous doesn't it? 00:24:51.410 --> 00:25:03.130 But if I hired a team of ninjas to go abduct 25 radio people from across the country 00:25:03.130 --> 00:25:11.130 and ask them one question and one question only, what is your biggest professional fear? 00:25:11.530 --> 00:25:16.570 They would all say the same thing, not being able to talk on the radio anymore 00:25:16.570 --> 00:25:21.530 and having to go get a real job. That's really all it boils down to. 00:25:21.530 --> 00:25:28.810 So when you log on to twitch or Facebook or ex or YouTube and you click the button to listen, 00:25:28.810 --> 00:25:35.370 slash view your favorite morning show every morning and what you hear is this guys were getting 00:25:35.370 --> 00:25:41.770 so close to our goal. God we're fucking so close we're only $68 away from making our goal 00:25:41.770 --> 00:25:47.450 for the day and then once we do we can get these two fucking big titted broads in here to 00:25:47.450 --> 00:25:52.650 wrestle to the death and a kiddie pool filled with Chris go get the girls in here. Let's let 00:25:52.650 --> 00:25:56.810 them talk to the let's let them talk to our audience here real quick. Let's get them. Let's get 00:25:56.810 --> 00:26:01.930 them in here. You two girls step up to the mic here, hang your tits in my face. That would be great 00:26:01.930 --> 00:26:08.490 and tell my audience what they're in for once we get that $68. Well this bitch been talking shit 00:26:08.490 --> 00:26:14.250 and I'm gonna beat her fucking ass. Oh yeah, we're past the point where we're ever gonna be able to 00:26:14.250 --> 00:26:19.930 repair this and I'm gonna kill this bitch and Chris go today. Bullshit bitch, I'm gonna fucking kill 00:26:20.490 --> 00:26:27.850 you. You hear that 68 dot make that $58. Princess FukTard thanks for the 10 bucks. $58 00:26:27.850 --> 00:26:32.810 away from watching these two bitches here trying to kill each other in a kiddie pool filled with 00:26:32.810 --> 00:26:39.950 Chris go on the dipshit and chuckle fucking the morning show. We're gonna take a 00:26:39.950 --> 00:26:42.010 a break and be right back. When you click on your favorite fucking internet morning show and 00:26:42.010 --> 00:26:47.770 you hear that all you're really doing by contributing money to those fucking ass clowns Commission is 00:26:47.850 --> 00:26:55.610 keeping them from having to get a real job because they're singularly unqualified to do anything. 00:26:55.610 --> 00:27:01.930 So just fucking stop. Stop giving your money to fucking radio people who are begging for your 00:27:01.930 --> 00:27:08.810 fucking cash on the internet. Stop especially in this economy with fucking ground beef at Walmart 00:27:08.810 --> 00:27:15.610 being $659 a pound. You're giving $15 to the chuckle fuck on just so you can watch methed out bitches 00:27:15.610 --> 00:27:21.130 fucking wrestling. Chris go are you fucking serious? Just so you can listen to them tell fucking bad 00:27:21.130 --> 00:27:27.050 one liners and do inside jokes that only people who've been following the show for years are actually 00:27:27.050 --> 00:27:35.850 gonna understand. $15 bucks a day, $15 a week, $15 a month is too much money to give to fucking radio 00:27:35.850 --> 00:27:42.650 people who three weeks before we're doing all of this stupid shit for you for absolutely free. 00:27:42.730 --> 00:27:48.090 To restriol radio has been so close to teetering on the edge of your relevance for so long, 00:27:48.090 --> 00:27:53.050 dipshit and chuckle fuck were just happy so you were tuning in. Now they're gonna pimp you for their 00:27:53.050 --> 00:27:59.130 fucking daily goal of $240 for their privilege of listening to them do the shit that they were giving 00:27:59.130 --> 00:28:06.170 you for free three weeks ago. Dipshit and chuckle fuck in the morning. Fuck me. The idea of paying some 00:28:06.170 --> 00:28:12.570 fucking radio guy $15 bucks to hear him tell old fucking jokes and do bad fucking bits just 00:28:12.570 --> 00:28:18.890 it just blows my mind and they're doing it. That's the thing over and over and over again every 00:28:18.890 --> 00:28:24.490 single day you've got people contributing to the fucking keep me from having to get a job fund 00:28:24.490 --> 00:28:29.610 to keep fucking losers like that Aaron I'm hold guy from having to fucking go to home depot or 00:28:29.610 --> 00:28:35.610 jiffy lubory fucking belongs I could literally go on about this topic all fucking night long. 00:28:37.050 --> 00:28:43.130 And not lose a fucking ounce of steam I could fill the fucking internet with all the reasons why 00:28:43.130 --> 00:28:49.770 you should never contribute a fucking dime to some fuck ass radio guy who's trying his handed 00:28:49.770 --> 00:28:58.170 podcasting but I'm not going to, I have to stop. Thank you for joining me for the season 2 premiere 00:28:58.170 --> 00:29:03.450 of Missing Throat Radio I hope you enjoyed it perhaps even learned something or got a chuckle 00:29:03.450 --> 00:29:08.570 out of the fucking ordeal. One of the things I'm working on and I hesitate to even talk about it is 00:29:08.570 --> 00:29:13.930 I've recently been going to a few high school football games and I've decided that I'm going to 00:29:13.930 --> 00:29:22.250 attempt anyway to do a complete theater of the mind kind of audio drama about my experience 00:29:22.250 --> 00:29:28.570 and high school football games the things I see and the things that I can't not see and high school 00:29:28.570 --> 00:29:34.730 football games that really detract from the overall experience. It's something that I'm working on 00:29:34.730 --> 00:29:40.810 it's a really fucking big project and it was what I was going to do for the season 2 premiere of 00:29:40.810 --> 00:29:46.810 Missing Throat Radio but it's just too fucking big it's taken me forever to get all the fucking parts 00:29:46.810 --> 00:29:52.010 and pieces worked out and get it all fucking scripted out in my mind and and actually produced 00:29:52.090 --> 00:29:58.650 so I wanted to jump in here today and do an episode just to kick off season 2 to let you know I 00:29:58.650 --> 00:30:21.990 had not what 00:30:22.010 --> 00:30:29.690 was a bit much for me. All right until next time