Missin' Thrope, Radio
Pissie, piss mongering fucking piss pot of the damned
Missin' Thrope, Radio
International cream corn fuck-headery
Missin' Thrope, Radio
Simply a dirty Jew
Missin' Thrope, Radio
Episode 2 of Missin' Thrope, Radio
As it turns out, I think I may be in the market for a new arch nemesis
You know, I watched a movie a long time ago with Peter Falk in it
And I don't expect you to know who the fuck Peter Falk is
Why would you?
He was an old actor, his claim to fame I think was a TV show called
Columbo where he played some fucking detective who acted like he didn't know what he was doing
And that all of a sudden fucking got it together at the end of the episode in order to apprehend the suspect
But I remember watching a movie one time and it was one of those fucking movies from back when we actually watched real television
With commercials and nothing was on demand
And I remember watching this movie because it just happened to be on
And I have no memory of the movie other than this one fucking thing
Peter Falk's character fucking hated Albanians
He fucking hated him
He hated the shit out of some fucking Albanians
And anytime any fucking body brought up Albanians he would just go on a fucking rant
And again, this has been 30 years ago
25, 30 years ago
I don't know how long, long fucking time
So my recollection of the severity of Peter Falk's characters
Hatred of the Albanians may be a little bit skewed
Maybe the last 25 years has fucking made it more extreme than it actually was
But I say that to say in my mind
Peter Falk's character in that fucking movie that I can't remember anything about but his character
He did some fucking Albanians and he hated the shit out of them
It got brought up somehow in the movie about why he fucking hated Albanians so much
And he said you have to hate someone
So for him it's the Albanians
That is stuck with me all these years just that one part
Just that one piece of that fucking movie with that lazy eyed fucking weirdo Peter Falk
Just that one bit where he I vaguely remember him screaming and ranting about fucking Albanians
And how much he hates them and then when pressed about why he fucking hates the Albanians so much
He said you got to hate somebody
And I'm not going to say I've taken it to heart but I understand all these years later why he said you have to have someone to hate
I don't necessarily have to have an entire racial group of people to hate
But I guess if you're going to fucking hate a racial group
Why not the Albanians?
But I have chosen someone to be my arch nemesis his name is Korki
It's not his actual name but I talked about him in season one of missing through radio and how much I fucking hate Korki
I fucking hate him, I fucking hate Korki, I fucking hate him
He's a piece of shit who works at the fucking gas station down the road from my house
But I have chosen Korki to be my arch nemesis
Why you may ask?
Why would an accomplished person like me choose a fucking piece of shit gas station attendant to be their arch nemesis
In my mind I had him built up to be something that he simply I don't believe has turned out to be
I thought that there was no way that anyone in the world could be that big of a piece of shit
Honestly, you see what I'm saying?
I felt like it was an act in my mind I had it built up to where he's some kind of fucking legit super villain
Who is disguising himself as a piece of shit who works at a fucking gas station
That's how I had it built up in my mind
We had that one incident where he rolled his eyes at me when I asked him to put my shit in the
bag and he and I have been at each other's throats ever since more me at his throat than he at mine
In fairness, I am the aggressor in this relationship
So maybe I am the super villain in Korki is not I don't fucking know
All I know is that now I think I'm in the market for a new arch nemesis
I think Korki no longer meets the criteria
It's actually kind of fucking sad because I saw Korki today
I stopped down at the convenience store to pick a couple fucking things up
And Korki was there
And he and I have kind of a fucking weird relationship now
Where when I walk in he fucking basically kind of jumps to attention
Because he knows now since I'm in the building every move he makes is under scrutiny
And if he does anything out of line or fucking untoward
I'm gonna be on him like flies on shit
When I say it like that it's fairly obvious that I'm the fucking aggressor in this relationship
And the animosity I think does not go both ways
I think Korki just wants to be left alone
But anyway I walk in the building tonight and Korki is there
And he's kind of leaned over doing his kind of palm on the side of his pockmarked
Disgusting fucking greasy face
Slavantly fucking side lean
Thing that he does
While waiting to be forced to do his job by somebody wants to pay for their shit
I walk in and I noticed that something is off with Korki almost immediately
He does not spring to attention like he normally does
And stand to ready to be fucking ridiculed or at least have to defend himself against one of my verbal attacks
He instead kind of lazily shifts his eyes to the door to see who's walking in
Sees me there's a flash of recognition sort of that's a little bit delayed
And then he just settles back into his I'm a fucking complete piece of shit lean on to the counter
Okay well maybe Korki's having a fucking bad day
So I proceed to go and get the things that I need to get and I add up to the fucking counter
Where I promptly greet Korki
Ah look who it is it's my old buddy Korki
Now his name's not Korki
It never was it's never been a nickname of his it's not something that anyone has ever called him but me
And I know now that his actual name is I don't remember Steve or say it doesn't fucking matter
Honestly who gives a shit what his fucking name is
But I know I know now that his name is not actually Korki
So now that he has told me that his name is not Korki
And I refer to him as Korki it's just a fucking another shot
You know what I mean it's another nail in the fucking coffin
It's another fucking stab
It's another fucking poke in Korki's eye
He's a piece of shit he's my archonemesis fuck him
Don't feel sorry for that motherfucker I'm telling you he's earned every bit of fucking heat that he gets for me
Through piss poor customer service and weird fucking posture in the way he wears his clothes
And his fucking pockmarked appearance and the fact that he obviously doesn't wash his hair very often
And the fact that he clearly only owns one pair of fucking jeans and wears them every day
And the fact that he looks like that fucking guy from Star Wars
Episode four in the cantina scene
Who said that they're wanted men and they have the descents and 12 systems
And the fact that one time he rolled his eyes at me when I asked for a bag
And the fact that the next time I went in there he slapped the bag open
Resentfully because he recognized me being in the building and didn't want another tongue lashing like he got the time before
But you fuck you listen I don't have to fucking justify why I hate Korki to you mother fucker
Just accept that what I'm saying as an upstanding member of the fucking community is that Korki's a piece of shit
Okay? Fuck! I'm tired of having to defend my hatred of Korki to people
God damn it! Anyway
So I noticed something's wrong with him and I greet him, ah my old friend Korki
He doesn't even fucking flinch
He doesn't even barely move
He just kind of fucking shifts his eyes up, rolls his eyes
I guess is the best way to say it up to meet mine
And then slowly starts the process of straightening his body up
So he can perform his duties as the fucking clerk at the gas station
I noticed something was wrong with him the moment I walked in
I observed him as I was moving through the store and had my suspicions confirmed
Korki was not the same Korki as just a few weeks ago
There was something fucking going on with him and then when I get up to the counter
And I greet him using the name that I have given him
His pet name Korki, he doesn't even fucking flinch
There's something definitely fucking wrong
And then the way he rolled his eyes up to look at me to meet my eyes
And the way he slowly straightened his body up
Like he's a machine coming to life after being dormant for a time
Something's wrong with Korki
This will never do
So I go ahead and buy my shit, complete the transaction all through the transaction he is moving at fucking turtle pace
Every movement is labored like it's just taking a maximum effort
Like it's taking so much out of him, finally I couldn't take it anymore
I said, dude, are you okay? And he looks up at me and he goes, what do you care?
And that one comment from Korki and the way he said it kind of gave me pause, why do I care?
Honestly, why do I fucking care about Korki
And I found myself standing there after the transaction kind of staring off into space for a moment
Because he's right, why do I care?
Why do I care what kind of fucking day Korki's having?
I've never cared before, as a fucking day Korki has gone out of my way to ensure that Korki has bad days once I leave
In the past, he'd be bebopping around that fucking fueling station, living his life
Mopping the floor and fucking changing out toilet paper and reeing up customers badly
I would fucking hit the door and I would immediately fucking start in on him and tell him what a piece of shit he is
I've gone out of my way to ensure that Korki has bad days
I've reveled in it, I've driven away before most times as actually feeling a sense of satisfaction
That that motherfucker was in one mood when I got there and in a completely fucking different mood when I left
I have taken pride in my verbal and emotional abuse of that fucking piece of shit that works at that gas station
So when I asked him, dude are you okay?
And he said, what do you care?
With that dopey fucking downtrodden terminal loser fucking weird-ass cadence and voice of his
It stopped me dead in my fucking tracks
Because he's right, why do I care? I've never cared in the past, why do I care now?
And so like I said, I found myself staring off into space running all of the shit that I just fucking said for you through my head
Why do I care? He's exactly right, I don't fucking care. Historically speaking, I want him to have a bad day
So why does this particular day bother me?
So I walk out the door to the gas station without another word
Still lost in thought, kind of mind blown by that exchange with Korki
And I'm heading towards my truck
And the whole time I'm walking, I'm thinking to myself I'm really focused on it actually, why do I care?
Why do I fucking care? He's right, why do I care?
But I do care, and it's nagging at me, it's bothering me
Do I care that Korki's demeanor has changed so dramatically because deep down in my core I want Korki to have a good life?
No, that's not it. Fuck outta here, fuck Korki. I don't care if he has a good life
Do I care because on a basic human level I don't like to see people who outwardly appear to be just suddenly and completely broken?
That could be it. So I start running through my head, what did I notice about Korki?
Aside from the fucking shit posture and Pock Mark face, in general overall uncleanliness, what else did I fucking notice about Korki?
He smelled bad but he always kind of smells bad but today he smelled like really old cigarettes and a lot of them
So that tells me he's either been living in a very small space that he smokes in, that checks out because he is a piece of shit
Or he's been chain smoking for days without bathing
All of that leads me to think, okay, maybe his wife finally whysened up and left his stupid broke dumb shit ass
But I remember noticing that that fucking ring was still on his finger because it was the only thing on him that was clean and shiny
So maybe not. And before I'd even registered what I was doing I had dropped the shit that I bought off in my truck
And I was headed back into the gas station to talk to Korki
Thankfully at this time of day it was not very busy in there and there was another fucking clerk running around in there
Who could take over cash register duties for Korki?
I walked in the door and immediately looked at Korki who had resumed his slumped over leaning fucking I'm a complete,
low rent piece of shit position at the cash register
I said hey bro, don't you think it's time to change the trash bags out here at the gas pumps? Some of them look pretty full
He gets up, tells his coworker he's going outside, grabs a cigarette, puts it behind his ear,
scoops up a roll of trash bags and walks outside
I'm two steps behind him. We get out there to the gas pumps and he immediately starts changing out the fucking trash bags
And I step around in front of him and I said hey Korki, let me talk to you a minute and he goes okay
I said what's a matter with you dude? You're not your normal vivacious fucking self what's going on here
And he stops and his shoulders kind of slump and his head kind of cocks to the side and he looks up at me with this dopey fucking look on his face
And he goes I fill off the wagon and I'm like what? I fill off the fucking wagon dude I'm back on the shit
And I was like you're fucking back on drugs after all of the bullshit that you've been through now you're back on drugs
With everything else that you don't have going for you now you're fucking back on drugs what are you doing?
He goes I don't know what just happened and now I can't fucking stop but I'm really fucking upset because the next time my parole officer fucking ua's me
Which I guess means your analysis I'm gonna go back to fucking prison
I was like so let me see if I got this right Korki
And he kind of stiffened this time when I used my pet name for him
You did a fucking stint in the can for being a shithead drug of user
You get out you're doing your thing at this fucking job that you hate with the goal in mind of getting back to concrete work
You've got your wife and your kids right and you're providing for them badly
And you're not doing a great job here at this job but that's because your heart's not in it
And you're but you're super fucking proud of how you've kept off the shit and now you're back on the fucking drugs
And he looks at me as tears kind of fucking start welling up in his eyes and he looks at me and he goes yeah
I thought about sums it up
And I was like jesus fucking christ bro just when I thought you couldn't be any more of a fucking loser
And I turned around and started walking towards my truck and then I turned right the fuck back around and walked towards him
I got right up in his face I said damn it Korki
Do you understand that I had chosen you of all the people in the world
I've chosen you to be my arch nemesis and he kind of fucking slumped and like started to melt even more
And I'm like see that's the shit I'm talking about right there
You're not worthy of being my fucking arch nemesis
Because a motherfucker needs his arch nemesis to push him to be a better asshole
And you just simply are incapable of that aren't you?
I have to be able to rely on you and know that I have to be on top of my game every day
Or else Korki's gonna fucking get the best of me
And if you're not up to that then I guess I'm in the fucking market now for a new arch nemesis
You motherfucker
Tears are streaming down his cheeks at this point
You're gonna lose your job
Yes you are going back to prison
Yes you are gonna fucking lose your family
Yes you are fucked
But what about me?
Look what you've done to me now
This is about me now Korki
I thought I could rely on you to be the spark that I needed every day to wake up and do my best
Because I had to put on my game face every day
In order to not be as big a piece of shit as Korki is
And then last time we spoke and you told me how you're improving your fucking life
And you only spurred me on to achieve more
I've achieved more in my professional life
I've achieved more in my personal life
I
I've achieved more with my fucking podcast than I ever thought possible and now all in the name of trying to fucking live up to Korki and stay that much further ahead of you
Because I can't fucking have you surpassing me look at you
Look at what a fucking piece of shit you are
I can't have you showing personal growth and professional fucking development
And working towards a fucking goal while I'm stagnating
What the fuck kind of arch nemesis would I be to you?
If I didn't try to fucking improve every single day
And he looks at me and he goes I don't even know what an arch nemesis is
I said it doesn't fucking matter
Of course you don't know you drug-addled pieces shit
You have no fucking idea
You have no base of knowledge
Probably never read a fucking book
You're everything that I'd hoped you were not
Korki
You're just a fucking piece of shit
There's no substance to you
You've got no fucking balls man
Getting back on the shit at the first fucking opportunity
Fuck you
Now I gotta go find a new arch nemesis
Look what you've done to me now
We're never gonna fucking see each other again Korki
I will never set foot back in this fucking gas station
You have ensured that I have no reason to ever come back here again
Good day sir
And I spun on my heel and started walking away
He started to say something behind me and I spun back around and I said
I said good day sir
Spun back around, got in my fucking truck and headed to the
fuckin Korki I'm so fucking sick of people on drugs you know it's like the word is out
Everybody knows what that shit does how the fuck does anyone wake up one morning and be like you know what boys
Today's the day I try meth
People know what that shit does
And that kind of got me thinking that that interaction with Korki got me to think
And in the season two premiere of Missing Throat Radio the last episode
Then I put out the entire first bit of that episode was me complaining about how
Everything takes so fucking long and how everything requires so many fucking words now
To get to get anything accomplished
And I couldn't figure out what changed what the fucking phenomenon was why everyone is late
Nothing's on time nothing is efficient nothing is moving and that interaction with Korki
Kind of fucking brought it all home for me
Everyone is on fucking drugs except me
And I don't mean illicit substances I'm not saying that everyone's on fucking math or heroin or whatever
Is not even saying that everybody's smoking weed
What I am saying though is that everyone is on something
Everyone's on fucking drugs except me whether it's meth, whether it it's weed, whether it's alcohol, whether it's fucking heroin, whether it's mood stabilizers from their doctors or fucking random prescribed barbituids or fucking opiats or something
Everyone's on fucking something except me
And I'm not going to say that that's entirely entirely by choice
I don't know I have never been offered any fucking barbituids or opiats or mood stabilizers
If I if I if I ever was offered them would I take them? I don't know probably not
But I think that's the genesis of a lot of our fucking problems is everyone is on drugs except me
All right I got to stop this bit let's go on to the next segment
Join Bruce and Ken on the weathered report where sharp takes real conversation and a dose of humor cut through the noise of the week
From classic cars to politics, culture and the American spirit no topic is off limits
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Segment to you
The leaves are starting to turn there's a little bit of a chill in the air
The breeze is not quite as friendly as it was just last week the days are getting shorter
We're just a couple weeks away from Halloween so in a lot of small towns all over the United States
It's fall festival season
If you've never been to one of these events you've come to the right place today
I was unfortunate enough to go to my local fall festival today
It's not something that I wanted to do but I found myself there anyhow
And I figured when in Rome do Roman shit so I figured I would go ahead and just try to soak in the fall festival experience
And take on board everything the fall festival has to offer
I usually hate this sort of thing, not usually I all the time hate this sort of thing
But I thought to myself this would actually be a good bit for misentral radio one way or the other
If I go to the fall festival and I really enjoy it then I can talk about how wonderful it was
And how I bought some fucking designer soaps
And how I talk to a guy who makes shit out of wood
And then burns it with a torch to make it look you know burned
Maybe the fucking corn dogs have gotten better
Maybe they've changed the fucking grease that they fry the funnel cakes in this year
Maybe the jars of apple butter were actually canned correctly so we're not all gonna fucking die of lasturia
Maybe they'll even have little games there this year where you can throw darts at balloons
And fucking pick up the ducklings going by and the little river and shit and win stuff to animals
Maybe I'll really fucking enjoy the fall festival this year
So I can come on here to misentral radio until you got damn let me tell you what man
You're really missing out if you don't get down there to your local fall festival because it's a fucking oot
Maybe that's what'll happen
Or I thought if it fucking sucks like I just know in my soul that it's going to
That'll be a good bit for misentral radio too
Anyway no matter how you slice it Lorenzo taking a fucking trip through the fall festival in small town bumble
Fuck America is gonna be a good bit for misentral radio
So I brought my notepad and I found a park bench located conveniently right on the city square
Now fall festivals in small town America are normally situated around the county courthouse in the county seat
This one is no different no matter where you walked north, south, east or west of the county courthouse
There was booth after booth after booth after booth of people hawking wares making food trying to sell you coffee
Basically just asking for donations or trying to buddy up with you to get your vote in the next election
When I rolled up to the area of fall festival I had to park six blocks away
This is already starting off like shit I had to park six fucking blocks away from what I knew to be the epicenter of all fall festival dumb
I get out and make the hike up there
Now in fucking fairness they did stop and offer me a ride on one of a little trams up to the frivolity
But I said no I wanted to get the entire fucking fall festival experience and that means a six block trek
Through this dumpy fucking trash little town to get up to the center of what is the pin ultimate event
For the box little town in middle America
I get about two blocks away and I'm starting to see booths
Those little pop-up tents people selling apple cider and people selling fucking shit made out of metal and people selling shit that they've sowed and people selling quilts
And people selling little fucking customized hand warmers
People selling bags with fucking feed corn in them that they've sowed up and they said that you can microwave it
And then it will be like a heating pad for you know seven minutes people offering free samples of cinnamon roasted pecans
But I'm not interested in any of that shit I want to see if there's fucking amusements this year
That's what I want to see I want to throw the fucking baseball at the fucking old school milk jugs
I want to try to win a fucking dog shit stuffed animal that cost me eight dollars of trying to get
I want to see if they've improved on what they had last year
I finally get to the fucking city square
The courthouse looming majestically in the background beautiful oak trees tall old 200 year oak trees lining the sidewalks all around the courthouse
And on the street and on both sides of the one way street that goes all the way around the courthouse are booths
After booth after booth after booth of purveyors and service providers and local politicians
Local businesses people who've come from out of town trying to sell you things that they've made with their own fucking hands
People selling apple butter in jams and jellies and honey made by bees on their own farms
People selling quilts and afghans
I walked up to this lady who was selling homemade soaps
Now this isn't your grandma's lie soap
No, we've moved past that
This fucking soap that this lady told me about
Well, I'll just let her tell you herself
Hi, thank you for stopping by my booth
What is it you sell here?
Well, as you can see from looking around you I sell the area's greatest handmade soaps
Handmade soap? Why is your soap any better than any other soap?
Well, clearly you haven't heard of me
Anti-B, I've been in business since 1973 making customized soaps out of goats milk, platypus placenta, cream corn and only the finest cultivated bison vagina
You make soap out of buffalo pussy?
That well, yes, but we prefer to call it bison vagina, it sounds a little more refined
But we've been making soap around these parts for over 50 years and let me tell you we do a damn good job
I might check back in with you
Incidentally, how much is a bar of bison vagina soap?
Well, now the bison vagina is our signature soap and you're gonna pay a pretty penny for that
For a bar of that bison vagina soap, you're gonna pay no less than $12 a bar
$12 a bar for fucking soap?
It's the best soap you can buy, it does wonders for your skin, look at me, I'm 78 years old, I don't look a day over 50
Okay, well I'll probably stop back by
You do that, we gonna be here till 4 o' today
Jesus, Jesus Christ, that was fucking intense
Bison vagina soap, have you ever heard anything like that?
I was so blown away by buffalo pussy soap
And I forgot to fucking ask her about the platypus placenta
What the fuck is that about?
Alright, let's go to the next booth here
Hello, sir, what is it you're selling here?
Well, I'm glad you stopped by, I haven't had a whole lot of people stop in today
Yesterday was crazy and Friday was absolutely pandemonium
But today it's been kind of slow
Well I'm glad I stopped by too, what is it you do here exactly?
Well, frankly, to be honest, we make shit out of shit
Come again, I'm a cattle farmer and one of the things that I have plenty of besides cattle is shit
The only thing that I have on my farm that outnumbers my cows is the shit that they leave in my fields
And I was walking around out there one day and I thought you know if there's just a way that I could monetize this shit
I could probably really make some money
Cause you know we're getting less on the hood for fucking cows now than we ever have before
And I was thinking God damn there's gotta be something I can do with this shit
So what I do is I watch my cows and when one of them takes a fucking steamy grassy shit
I let it sit there for about a good hour, hour two hours maybe
And then I'll go out with my fucking snow shovel and I'll lovingly scoop it up off the ground
Trying to preserve the integrity of that loaf
And then what do you do with it?
Well then as soon as I get it transported safely I'll take it up in the house and throw it on the table there
And mom will spray it down with some lacquer and basically preserve it in that condition
So from that cow's asshole until the time it's preserved is normally less than three hours
That is some real honest to God fresh cow shit right there
Okay well what the fuck am I gonna do with that?
Well then we take that cow shit and we turn it into beautiful works of art
See that there that's cow shit wall clock that over there's a cow shit coffee table
We've even got a whole line of serving dishes over there
I see that dude what the fuck is that about?
What we'll do is we'll pile about four or five of them fucking cow panties up and then we'll cover them in epoxy
And we'll put them on a lathe and we'll take them we'll carve that epoxy cow shit out into a fucking beautiful salad bowl
That you can use for generations
Alright well thank you hold on I got one more thing to show you I got one more thing to show you this is something I'm real proud of
This is something I'm real proud of
Every now and then we don't have them very often because you know if you know anything about cattle farming
You know you got a whole bunch of fucking cows
And you got a whole bunch of fucking steers but you typically only have one bull
And that one bull is in charge of fucking all them cows and getting them pregnant and keeping your fucking herd alive
Yeah I get it the concept of one bull I understand how that works
So a bull every now and then I'd say a bull you got about a good ten years ten years out of a bull before he's just he's just fucked out
You know what I mean he's just fucked out he can't do it anymore
He just can't fuck not a second longer well he goes to market to be honest with you before we take him to market
Well fucking go ahead and we'll pull out his old fucking pecker that old well used rod that he's been ramming in these fucking ladies for all these years
We'll take that pecker and we'll cut her off right at the base and then we'll cut her eyes the wound
That right there sir that right there is a rarity
You're not gonna find many of them you're not gonna figure sure as hell not gonna find one anywhere else at this year fucking festival
Okay dude but what is it that sir is a cane made from the penis of my last bull the one we just took to market this spring
That bull's name was anthrax because he was like a fucking plague on them fucking cows that in that field
We turn him loose out there and he was just smashing smash it smash it smash it
He'd be fucking wrecking pussy all day and night then cows would be screaming and he'd be stomping and roaring and being the fucking middle
Fucking middle of the night he'd be out there just rotten them rotten them that penis right there breeds over 300 cows a year
And that cow penis cane right there can be yours today for $125
All right well thank you I will circle back around later on and if anthrax's cock is still hanging on the wall I might buy it
Okay moving on that was fucking weird there's a group of ladies up here I got to walk around but let's see if we can get close enough to hear what they're fucking yapping about
Well I told my billy don't even bother trying to date that chopped whore there ain't nothing good can come
50 boys and my billy
I want to give my mind shortly I want everyone everyone to bask in the glory of the Lord with me here today Pastor Paul
from down the United Methodist church praise music sing it baby sing it that's my wife back there I want her at a card game and
sing a poor that's a absolutely right she was one of them women of ill repute before she got with me and she's since given her self over to the Lord
it gives herself over to me occasionally let's not be ridiculous here okay but she's given herself her soul over to the Lord but that pussy belongs to me doesn't it baby you know it does
yeah that's right but anyway I at that time when I want her in that card game I was a sinner I was a sinner of the highest degree
misdemeanor and misogynyton playing poker playing cards all over the world doing drugs fucking around with your
causes and then the Lord spoke to me shortly after I won her in that card game and sing a poor the Lord spoke to me and said Paul
what the fuck are you doing and I said well Lord I don't know what the hell I'm doing either why don't you tell me and he said I can tell I don't know what the hell you were doing but I can tell you what you are
going to be doing from now on you are going to give your life over to the service of me and you are going to use all of the powers that you have assembled and amassed over your time of sin and
misdemeanor and you're going to use that to bring people under my umbrella and I said Lord fucking a that sounds pretty good and he said well let that language go on time Paul but you
give me again I'm gonna fuck you up and I said okay yes Lord I got you and ever since that time me and my wife who was a whore in Singapore I can't say that enough
we have been spreading the word of the Lord from coast to coast nation to nation state to state festival to festival and that's what we're here to do today bring you the comfort and joy of the Lord
not playing the devil's music known we're playing inspirational music praise music it's not very good to listen to I'll admit my band's not very good she's not a great singer she's got to ass on her like a 12 year old boy
that's why I keep her around and the fact that she's giving her life and don't get that fucked up but come on up here today and get baptized
pastor Paul right over there at the United Methodist Church come on by and see us anytime you like praise the Lord
Mr. Paul from the local United Methodist Church and his wife who used to be a prostitute in Singapore up there leading the fucking praise music at the local fall festival
I hope you enjoyed the nickel tour of the fall festival I didn't even make it to the fucking corn dog stand or the place where they make funnel cakes and I didn't get to talk to the fucking standard issue
veteran owned coffee place down the road but I think I gave you the highlights of every fall festival everywhere and I'm telling you from me you don't have to go I went for you
and I brought you along with me that's gonna pretty much do it for this episode of Missing Throat Radio I just really hope you dig the show
it sounds like such a fucking simple thing to say but I can't say it much planer than that I just kind of hope you dig what I'm trying to do here
I'm not trying to be serious all the time I'm not trying to sway your opinions on things or fucking get you to buy any kinds of fucking products or sell you a fucking service
I'm not trying to sell you on a fucking ideology or a dream I just want to fucking entertain you in a weird sort of way for 30, 45 minutes at a time once every week or two
if I can give you a little dose of unreality every week or two then I've achieved my goal all right thank you again for coming along for this episode of Missing Throat Radio
until next time