WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.000 Missin' Thrope, Radio 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:05.560 Pissie, piss mongering fucking piss pot of the damned 00:00:05.560 --> 00:00:07.840 Missin' Thrope, Radio 00:00:07.840 --> 00:00:11.200 International cream corn fuck-headery 00:00:11.200 --> 00:00:12.680 Missin' Thrope, Radio 00:00:12.680 --> 00:00:14.280 Simply a dirty Jew 00:00:14.280 --> 00:00:16.200 Missin' Thrope, Radio 00:00:33.460 --> 00:00:36.460 Episode 2 of Missin' Thrope, Radio 00:00:36.460 --> 00:00:41.460 As it turns out, I think I may be in the market for a new arch nemesis 00:00:41.460 --> 00:00:46.460 You know, I watched a movie a long time ago with Peter Falk in it 00:00:46.460 --> 00:00:49.460 And I don't expect you to know who the fuck Peter Falk is 00:00:49.460 --> 00:00:50.460 Why would you? 00:00:50.460 --> 00:00:55.460 He was an old actor, his claim to fame I think was a TV show called 00:00:55.460 --> 00:00:59.460 Columbo where he played some fucking detective who acted like he didn't know what he was doing 00:00:59.460 --> 00:01:07.460 And that all of a sudden fucking got it together at the end of the episode in order to apprehend the suspect 00:01:07.460 --> 00:01:16.460 But I remember watching a movie one time and it was one of those fucking movies from back when we actually watched real television 00:01:16.460 --> 00:01:19.460 With commercials and nothing was on demand 00:01:19.460 --> 00:01:24.460 And I remember watching this movie because it just happened to be on 00:01:24.460 --> 00:01:28.460 And I have no memory of the movie other than this one fucking thing 00:01:28.460 --> 00:01:33.460 Peter Falk's character fucking hated Albanians 00:01:33.460 --> 00:01:35.460 He fucking hated him 00:01:35.460 --> 00:01:39.460 He hated the shit out of some fucking Albanians 00:01:39.460 --> 00:01:43.460 And anytime any fucking body brought up Albanians he would just go on a fucking rant 00:01:43.460 --> 00:01:46.460 And again, this has been 30 years ago 00:01:46.460 --> 00:01:48.460 25, 30 years ago 00:01:48.460 --> 00:01:51.460 I don't know how long, long fucking time 00:01:51.460 --> 00:01:55.460 So my recollection of the severity of Peter Falk's characters 00:01:55.460 --> 00:01:59.460 Hatred of the Albanians may be a little bit skewed 00:01:59.460 --> 00:02:05.460 Maybe the last 25 years has fucking made it more extreme than it actually was 00:02:05.460 --> 00:02:08.460 But I say that to say in my mind 00:02:08.460 --> 00:02:14.460 Peter Falk's character in that fucking movie that I can't remember anything about but his character 00:02:14.460 --> 00:02:18.460 He did some fucking Albanians and he hated the shit out of them 00:02:18.460 --> 00:02:23.460 It got brought up somehow in the movie about why he fucking hated Albanians so much 00:02:23.460 --> 00:02:28.460 And he said you have to hate someone 00:02:28.460 --> 00:02:32.460 So for him it's the Albanians 00:02:32.460 --> 00:02:35.460 That is stuck with me all these years just that one part 00:02:35.460 --> 00:02:41.460 Just that one piece of that fucking movie with that lazy eyed fucking weirdo Peter Falk 00:02:41.460 --> 00:02:48.460 Just that one bit where he I vaguely remember him screaming and ranting about fucking Albanians 00:02:48.460 --> 00:02:54.460 And how much he hates them and then when pressed about why he fucking hates the Albanians so much 00:02:54.460 --> 00:02:57.460 He said you got to hate somebody 00:02:57.460 --> 00:03:06.460 And I'm not going to say I've taken it to heart but I understand all these years later why he said you have to have someone to hate 00:03:06.460 --> 00:03:13.460 I don't necessarily have to have an entire racial group of people to hate 00:03:13.460 --> 00:03:16.460 But I guess if you're going to fucking hate a racial group 00:03:16.460 --> 00:03:20.460 Why not the Albanians? 00:03:20.460 --> 00:03:25.460 But I have chosen someone to be my arch nemesis his name is Korki 00:03:25.460 --> 00:03:33.460 It's not his actual name but I talked about him in season one of missing through radio and how much I fucking hate Korki 00:03:33.460 --> 00:03:38.460 I fucking hate him, I fucking hate Korki, I fucking hate him 00:03:38.460 --> 00:03:44.460 He's a piece of shit who works at the fucking gas station down the road from my house 00:03:44.460 --> 00:03:48.460 But I have chosen Korki to be my arch nemesis 00:03:48.460 --> 00:03:50.460 Why you may ask? 00:03:50.460 --> 00:03:58.460 Why would an accomplished person like me choose a fucking piece of shit gas station attendant to be their arch nemesis 00:03:58.460 --> 00:04:04.460 In my mind I had him built up to be something that he simply I don't believe has turned out to be 00:04:04.460 --> 00:04:10.460 I thought that there was no way that anyone in the world could be that big of a piece of shit 00:04:10.460 --> 00:04:13.460 Honestly, you see what I'm saying? 00:04:13.460 --> 00:04:20.460 I felt like it was an act in my mind I had it built up to where he's some kind of fucking legit super villain 00:04:20.460 --> 00:04:27.460 Who is disguising himself as a piece of shit who works at a fucking gas station 00:04:27.460 --> 00:04:29.460 That's how I had it built up in my mind 00:04:29.460 --> 00:04:34.460 We had that one incident where he rolled his eyes at me when I asked him to put my shit in the 00:04:34.460 --> 00:04:42.460 bag and he and I have been at each other's throats ever since more me at his throat than he at mine 00:04:42.460 --> 00:04:46.460 In fairness, I am the aggressor in this relationship 00:04:46.460 --> 00:04:51.460 So maybe I am the super villain in Korki is not I don't fucking know 00:04:51.460 --> 00:04:57.460 All I know is that now I think I'm in the market for a new arch nemesis 00:04:57.460 --> 00:05:01.460 I think Korki no longer meets the criteria 00:05:01.460 --> 00:05:05.460 It's actually kind of fucking sad because I saw Korki today 00:05:05.460 --> 00:05:09.460 I stopped down at the convenience store to pick a couple fucking things up 00:05:09.460 --> 00:05:11.460 And Korki was there 00:05:11.460 --> 00:05:16.460 And he and I have kind of a fucking weird relationship now 00:05:16.460 --> 00:05:20.460 Where when I walk in he fucking basically kind of jumps to attention 00:05:20.460 --> 00:05:28.460 Because he knows now since I'm in the building every move he makes is under scrutiny 00:05:28.460 --> 00:05:32.460 And if he does anything out of line or fucking untoward 00:05:32.460 --> 00:05:36.460 I'm gonna be on him like flies on shit 00:05:36.460 --> 00:05:46.460 When I say it like that it's fairly obvious that I'm the fucking aggressor in this relationship 00:05:46.460 --> 00:05:50.460 And the animosity I think does not go both ways 00:05:50.460 --> 00:05:56.300 I think Korki just wants to be left alone 00:05:56.300 --> 00:06:01.300 But anyway I walk in the building tonight and Korki is there 00:06:01.300 --> 00:06:08.300 And he's kind of leaned over doing his kind of palm on the side of his pockmarked 00:06:08.300 --> 00:06:11.300 Disgusting fucking greasy face 00:06:11.300 --> 00:06:14.300 Slavantly fucking side lean 00:06:14.300 --> 00:06:16.300 Thing that he does 00:06:16.300 --> 00:06:21.300 While waiting to be forced to do his job by somebody wants to pay for their shit 00:06:21.300 --> 00:06:26.300 I walk in and I noticed that something is off with Korki almost immediately 00:06:26.300 --> 00:06:30.300 He does not spring to attention like he normally does 00:06:30.300 --> 00:06:38.300 And stand to ready to be fucking ridiculed or at least have to defend himself against one of my verbal attacks 00:06:38.300 --> 00:06:44.300 He instead kind of lazily shifts his eyes to the door to see who's walking in 00:06:44.300 --> 00:06:50.300 Sees me there's a flash of recognition sort of that's a little bit delayed 00:06:50.300 --> 00:06:57.300 And then he just settles back into his I'm a fucking complete piece of shit lean on to the counter 00:06:57.300 --> 00:07:00.300 Okay well maybe Korki's having a fucking bad day 00:07:00.300 --> 00:07:06.300 So I proceed to go and get the things that I need to get and I add up to the fucking counter 00:07:06.300 --> 00:07:09.300 Where I promptly greet Korki 00:07:09.300 --> 00:07:12.300 Ah look who it is it's my old buddy Korki 00:07:12.300 --> 00:07:14.300 Now his name's not Korki 00:07:14.300 --> 00:07:21.300 It never was it's never been a nickname of his it's not something that anyone has ever called him but me 00:07:21.300 --> 00:07:28.300 And I know now that his actual name is I don't remember Steve or say it doesn't fucking matter 00:07:28.300 --> 00:07:31.300 Honestly who gives a shit what his fucking name is 00:07:31.300 --> 00:07:35.300 But I know I know now that his name is not actually Korki 00:07:35.300 --> 00:07:38.300 So now that he has told me that his name is not Korki 00:07:38.300 --> 00:07:42.300 And I refer to him as Korki it's just a fucking another shot 00:07:42.300 --> 00:07:46.300 You know what I mean it's another nail in the fucking coffin 00:07:46.300 --> 00:07:48.300 It's another fucking stab 00:07:48.300 --> 00:07:51.300 It's another fucking poke in Korki's eye 00:07:51.300 --> 00:07:55.300 He's a piece of shit he's my archonemesis fuck him 00:07:55.300 --> 00:08:01.300 Don't feel sorry for that motherfucker I'm telling you he's earned every bit of fucking heat that he gets for me 00:08:01.300 --> 00:08:06.300 Through piss poor customer service and weird fucking posture in the way he wears his clothes 00:08:06.300 --> 00:08:12.300 And his fucking pockmarked appearance and the fact that he obviously doesn't wash his hair very often 00:08:12.300 --> 00:08:18.300 And the fact that he clearly only owns one pair of fucking jeans and wears them every day 00:08:18.300 --> 00:08:21.300 And the fact that he looks like that fucking guy from Star Wars 00:08:21.300 --> 00:08:24.300 Episode four in the cantina scene 00:08:24.300 --> 00:08:28.300 Who said that they're wanted men and they have the descents and 12 systems 00:08:28.300 --> 00:08:32.300 And the fact that one time he rolled his eyes at me when I asked for a bag 00:08:32.300 --> 00:08:36.300 And the fact that the next time I went in there he slapped the bag open 00:08:36.300 --> 00:08:42.300 Resentfully because he recognized me being in the building and didn't want another tongue lashing like he got the time before 00:08:42.300 --> 00:08:48.300 But you fuck you listen I don't have to fucking justify why I hate Korki to you mother fucker 00:08:48.300 --> 00:08:55.300 Just accept that what I'm saying as an upstanding member of the fucking community is that Korki's a piece of shit 00:08:55.300 --> 00:09:00.300 Okay? Fuck! I'm tired of having to defend my hatred of Korki to people 00:09:00.300 --> 00:09:02.300 God damn it! Anyway 00:09:04.300 --> 00:09:09.300 So I noticed something's wrong with him and I greet him, ah my old friend Korki 00:09:09.300 --> 00:09:11.300 He doesn't even fucking flinch 00:09:11.300 --> 00:09:14.300 He doesn't even barely move 00:09:14.300 --> 00:09:19.300 He just kind of fucking shifts his eyes up, rolls his eyes 00:09:19.300 --> 00:09:22.300 I guess is the best way to say it up to meet mine 00:09:22.300 --> 00:09:28.300 And then slowly starts the process of straightening his body up 00:09:28.300 --> 00:09:34.300 So he can perform his duties as the fucking clerk at the gas station 00:09:34.300 --> 00:09:37.300 I noticed something was wrong with him the moment I walked in 00:09:37.300 --> 00:09:42.300 I observed him as I was moving through the store and had my suspicions confirmed 00:09:42.300 --> 00:09:46.300 Korki was not the same Korki as just a few weeks ago 00:09:46.300 --> 00:09:50.300 There was something fucking going on with him and then when I get up to the counter 00:09:50.300 --> 00:09:54.300 And I greet him using the name that I have given him 00:09:54.300 --> 00:10:00.300 His pet name Korki, he doesn't even fucking flinch 00:10:00.300 --> 00:10:02.300 There's something definitely fucking wrong 00:10:02.300 --> 00:10:07.300 And then the way he rolled his eyes up to look at me to meet my eyes 00:10:07.300 --> 00:10:11.300 And the way he slowly straightened his body up 00:10:11.300 --> 00:10:16.300 Like he's a machine coming to life after being dormant for a time 00:10:16.300 --> 00:10:18.300 Something's wrong with Korki 00:10:18.300 --> 00:10:20.300 This will never do 00:10:20.300 --> 00:10:30.300 So I go ahead and buy my shit, complete the transaction all through the transaction he is moving at fucking turtle pace 00:10:30.300 --> 00:10:35.300 Every movement is labored like it's just taking a maximum effort 00:10:35.300 --> 00:10:39.300 Like it's taking so much out of him, finally I couldn't take it anymore 00:10:39.300 --> 00:10:45.300 I said, dude, are you okay? And he looks up at me and he goes, what do you care? 00:10:45.300 --> 00:10:52.300 And that one comment from Korki and the way he said it kind of gave me pause, why do I care? 00:10:52.300 --> 00:10:55.300 Honestly, why do I fucking care about Korki 00:10:55.300 --> 00:11:01.300 And I found myself standing there after the transaction kind of staring off into space for a moment 00:11:01.300 --> 00:11:04.300 Because he's right, why do I care? 00:11:04.300 --> 00:11:07.300 Why do I care what kind of fucking day Korki's having? 00:11:07.300 --> 00:11:14.300 I've never cared before, as a fucking day Korki has gone out of my way to ensure that Korki has bad days once I leave 00:11:14.300 --> 00:11:19.300 In the past, he'd be bebopping around that fucking fueling station, living his life 00:11:19.300 --> 00:11:24.300 Mopping the floor and fucking changing out toilet paper and reeing up customers badly 00:11:24.300 --> 00:11:30.300 I would fucking hit the door and I would immediately fucking start in on him and tell him what a piece of shit he is 00:11:30.300 --> 00:11:34.300 I've gone out of my way to ensure that Korki has bad days 00:11:34.300 --> 00:11:40.300 I've reveled in it, I've driven away before most times as actually feeling a sense of satisfaction 00:11:40.300 --> 00:11:46.300 That that motherfucker was in one mood when I got there and in a completely fucking different mood when I left 00:11:46.300 --> 00:11:55.300 I have taken pride in my verbal and emotional abuse of that fucking piece of shit that works at that gas station 00:11:55.300 --> 00:11:57.300 So when I asked him, dude are you okay? 00:11:57.300 --> 00:11:59.300 And he said, what do you care? 00:11:59.300 --> 00:12:05.300 With that dopey fucking downtrodden terminal loser fucking weird-ass cadence and voice of his 00:12:05.300 --> 00:12:08.300 It stopped me dead in my fucking tracks 00:12:08.300 --> 00:12:13.300 Because he's right, why do I care? I've never cared in the past, why do I care now? 00:12:13.300 --> 00:12:20.300 And so like I said, I found myself staring off into space running all of the shit that I just fucking said for you through my head 00:12:20.300 --> 00:12:26.300 Why do I care? He's exactly right, I don't fucking care. Historically speaking, I want him to have a bad day 00:12:26.300 --> 00:12:29.300 So why does this particular day bother me? 00:12:29.300 --> 00:12:32.300 So I walk out the door to the gas station without another word 00:12:32.300 --> 00:12:38.300 Still lost in thought, kind of mind blown by that exchange with Korki 00:12:38.300 --> 00:12:40.300 And I'm heading towards my truck 00:12:40.300 --> 00:12:46.300 And the whole time I'm walking, I'm thinking to myself I'm really focused on it actually, why do I care? 00:12:46.300 --> 00:12:50.300 Why do I fucking care? He's right, why do I care? 00:12:50.300 --> 00:12:54.300 But I do care, and it's nagging at me, it's bothering me 00:12:54.300 --> 00:13:01.300 Do I care that Korki's demeanor has changed so dramatically because deep down in my core I want Korki to have a good life? 00:13:01.300 --> 00:13:08.300 No, that's not it. Fuck outta here, fuck Korki. I don't care if he has a good life 00:13:08.300 --> 00:13:17.300 Do I care because on a basic human level I don't like to see people who outwardly appear to be just suddenly and completely broken? 00:13:17.300 --> 00:13:21.300 That could be it. So I start running through my head, what did I notice about Korki? 00:13:21.300 --> 00:13:30.300 Aside from the fucking shit posture and Pock Mark face, in general overall uncleanliness, what else did I fucking notice about Korki? 00:13:30.300 --> 00:13:37.300 He smelled bad but he always kind of smells bad but today he smelled like really old cigarettes and a lot of them 00:13:37.300 --> 00:13:45.300 So that tells me he's either been living in a very small space that he smokes in, that checks out because he is a piece of shit 00:13:45.300 --> 00:13:49.300 Or he's been chain smoking for days without bathing 00:13:49.300 --> 00:13:56.300 All of that leads me to think, okay, maybe his wife finally whysened up and left his stupid broke dumb shit ass 00:13:56.300 --> 00:14:03.300 But I remember noticing that that fucking ring was still on his finger because it was the only thing on him that was clean and shiny 00:14:03.300 --> 00:14:10.300 So maybe not. And before I'd even registered what I was doing I had dropped the shit that I bought off in my truck 00:14:10.300 --> 00:14:14.300 And I was headed back into the gas station to talk to Korki 00:14:14.300 --> 00:14:20.300 Thankfully at this time of day it was not very busy in there and there was another fucking clerk running around in there 00:14:20.300 --> 00:14:23.300 Who could take over cash register duties for Korki? 00:14:23.300 --> 00:14:30.300 I walked in the door and immediately looked at Korki who had resumed his slumped over leaning fucking I'm a complete, 00:14:30.300 --> 00:14:34.300 low rent piece of shit position at the cash register 00:14:34.300 --> 00:14:40.300 I said hey bro, don't you think it's time to change the trash bags out here at the gas pumps? Some of them look pretty full 00:14:40.300 --> 00:14:45.300 He gets up, tells his coworker he's going outside, grabs a cigarette, puts it behind his ear, 00:14:45.300 --> 00:14:49.300 scoops up a roll of trash bags and walks outside 00:14:49.300 --> 00:14:56.300 I'm two steps behind him. We get out there to the gas pumps and he immediately starts changing out the fucking trash bags 00:14:56.300 --> 00:15:01.300 And I step around in front of him and I said hey Korki, let me talk to you a minute and he goes okay 00:15:01.300 --> 00:15:06.300 I said what's a matter with you dude? You're not your normal vivacious fucking self what's going on here 00:15:06.300 --> 00:15:14.300 And he stops and his shoulders kind of slump and his head kind of cocks to the side and he looks up at me with this dopey fucking look on his face 00:15:14.300 --> 00:15:22.300 And he goes I fill off the wagon and I'm like what? I fill off the fucking wagon dude I'm back on the shit 00:15:22.300 --> 00:15:28.300 And I was like you're fucking back on drugs after all of the bullshit that you've been through now you're back on drugs 00:15:28.300 --> 00:15:33.300 With everything else that you don't have going for you now you're fucking back on drugs what are you doing? 00:15:33.300 --> 00:15:41.300 He goes I don't know what just happened and now I can't fucking stop but I'm really fucking upset because the next time my parole officer fucking ua's me 00:15:41.300 --> 00:15:45.300 Which I guess means your analysis I'm gonna go back to fucking prison 00:15:45.300 --> 00:15:48.300 I was like so let me see if I got this right Korki 00:15:48.300 --> 00:15:53.300 And he kind of stiffened this time when I used my pet name for him 00:15:53.300 --> 00:15:57.300 You did a fucking stint in the can for being a shithead drug of user 00:15:57.300 --> 00:16:03.300 You get out you're doing your thing at this fucking job that you hate with the goal in mind of getting back to concrete work 00:16:03.300 --> 00:16:08.300 You've got your wife and your kids right and you're providing for them badly 00:16:08.300 --> 00:16:12.300 And you're not doing a great job here at this job but that's because your heart's not in it 00:16:12.300 --> 00:16:19.300 And you're but you're super fucking proud of how you've kept off the shit and now you're back on the fucking drugs 00:16:19.300 --> 00:16:25.300 And he looks at me as tears kind of fucking start welling up in his eyes and he looks at me and he goes yeah 00:16:25.300 --> 00:16:27.300 I thought about sums it up 00:16:27.300 --> 00:16:32.300 And I was like jesus fucking christ bro just when I thought you couldn't be any more of a fucking loser 00:16:33.300 --> 00:16:38.300 And I turned around and started walking towards my truck and then I turned right the fuck back around and walked towards him 00:16:38.300 --> 00:16:40.300 I got right up in his face I said damn it Korki 00:16:40.300 --> 00:16:44.300 Do you understand that I had chosen you of all the people in the world 00:16:44.300 --> 00:16:51.300 I've chosen you to be my arch nemesis and he kind of fucking slumped and like started to melt even more 00:16:51.300 --> 00:16:53.300 And I'm like see that's the shit I'm talking about right there 00:16:53.300 --> 00:16:57.300 You're not worthy of being my fucking arch nemesis 00:16:57.300 --> 00:17:02.300 Because a motherfucker needs his arch nemesis to push him to be a better asshole 00:17:02.300 --> 00:17:05.300 And you just simply are incapable of that aren't you? 00:17:05.300 --> 00:17:11.300 I have to be able to rely on you and know that I have to be on top of my game every day 00:17:11.300 --> 00:17:13.300 Or else Korki's gonna fucking get the best of me 00:17:13.300 --> 00:17:18.300 And if you're not up to that then I guess I'm in the fucking market now for a new arch nemesis 00:17:18.300 --> 00:17:19.300 You motherfucker 00:17:19.300 --> 00:17:22.300 Tears are streaming down his cheeks at this point 00:17:52.300 --> 00:17:53.300 You're gonna lose your job 00:17:53.300 --> 00:17:55.300 Yes you are going back to prison 00:17:55.300 --> 00:17:58.300 Yes you are gonna fucking lose your family 00:17:58.300 --> 00:17:59.300 Yes you are fucked 00:17:59.300 --> 00:18:00.300 But what about me? 00:18:00.300 --> 00:18:02.300 Look what you've done to me now 00:18:02.300 --> 00:18:04.300 This is about me now Korki 00:18:04.300 --> 00:18:09.300 I thought I could rely on you to be the spark that I needed every day to wake up and do my best 00:18:09.300 --> 00:18:12.300 Because I had to put on my game face every day 00:18:12.300 --> 00:18:16.300 In order to not be as big a piece of shit as Korki is 00:18:16.300 --> 00:18:20.300 And then last time we spoke and you told me how you're improving your fucking life 00:18:20.300 --> 00:18:23.300 And you only spurred me on to achieve more 00:18:23.300 --> 00:18:25.300 I've achieved more in my professional life 00:18:25.300 --> 00:18:27.300 I've achieved more in my personal life 00:18:27.300 --> 00:18:34.520 I 00:18:34.520 --> 00:18:38.300 I've achieved more with my fucking podcast than I ever thought possible and now all in the name of trying to fucking live up to Korki and stay that much further ahead of you 00:18:38.300 --> 00:18:41.300 Because I can't fucking have you surpassing me look at you 00:18:41.300 --> 00:18:44.300 Look at what a fucking piece of shit you are 00:18:44.300 --> 00:18:48.300 I can't have you showing personal growth and professional fucking development 00:18:48.300 --> 00:18:51.300 And working towards a fucking goal while I'm stagnating 00:18:51.300 --> 00:18:54.300 What the fuck kind of arch nemesis would I be to you? 00:18:54.300 --> 00:18:57.300 If I didn't try to fucking improve every single day 00:18:57.300 --> 00:19:00.300 And he looks at me and he goes I don't even know what an arch nemesis is 00:19:00.300 --> 00:19:01.300 I said it doesn't fucking matter 00:19:01.300 --> 00:19:04.300 Of course you don't know you drug-addled pieces shit 00:19:04.300 --> 00:19:06.300 You have no fucking idea 00:19:06.300 --> 00:19:08.300 You have no base of knowledge 00:19:08.300 --> 00:19:10.300 Probably never read a fucking book 00:19:10.300 --> 00:19:12.300 You're everything that I'd hoped you were not 00:19:12.300 --> 00:19:13.300 Korki 00:19:13.300 --> 00:19:16.300 You're just a fucking piece of shit 00:19:16.300 --> 00:19:17.300 There's no substance to you 00:19:17.300 --> 00:19:20.300 You've got no fucking balls man 00:19:20.300 --> 00:19:23.300 Getting back on the shit at the first fucking opportunity 00:19:23.300 --> 00:19:24.300 Fuck you 00:19:24.300 --> 00:19:26.300 Now I gotta go find a new arch nemesis 00:19:26.300 --> 00:19:28.300 Look what you've done to me now 00:19:28.300 --> 00:19:30.300 We're never gonna fucking see each other again Korki 00:19:30.300 --> 00:19:33.300 I will never set foot back in this fucking gas station 00:19:33.300 --> 00:19:38.300 You have ensured that I have no reason to ever come back here again 00:19:38.300 --> 00:19:40.300 Good day sir 00:19:40.300 --> 00:19:43.300 And I spun on my heel and started walking away 00:19:43.300 --> 00:19:46.300 He started to say something behind me and I spun back around and I said 00:19:46.300 --> 00:19:48.300 I said good day sir 00:19:48.300 --> 00:19:57.300 Spun back around, got in my fucking truck and headed to the 00:19:57.300 --> 00:19:58.300 fuckin Korki I'm so fucking sick of people on drugs you know it's like the word is out 00:19:58.300 --> 00:20:03.300 Everybody knows what that shit does how the fuck does anyone wake up one morning and be like you know what boys 00:20:03.300 --> 00:20:05.300 Today's the day I try meth 00:20:05.300 --> 00:20:07.300 People know what that shit does 00:20:07.300 --> 00:20:12.300 And that kind of got me thinking that that interaction with Korki got me to think 00:20:12.300 --> 00:20:17.300 And in the season two premiere of Missing Throat Radio the last episode 00:20:17.300 --> 00:20:23.300 Then I put out the entire first bit of that episode was me complaining about how 00:20:23.300 --> 00:20:29.300 Everything takes so fucking long and how everything requires so many fucking words now 00:20:29.300 --> 00:20:31.300 To get to get anything accomplished 00:20:31.300 --> 00:20:37.300 And I couldn't figure out what changed what the fucking phenomenon was why everyone is late 00:20:37.300 --> 00:20:43.300 Nothing's on time nothing is efficient nothing is moving and that interaction with Korki 00:20:43.300 --> 00:20:46.300 Kind of fucking brought it all home for me 00:20:46.300 --> 00:20:51.300 Everyone is on fucking drugs except me 00:20:51.300 --> 00:20:58.300 And I don't mean illicit substances I'm not saying that everyone's on fucking math or heroin or whatever 00:20:58.300 --> 00:21:00.300 Is not even saying that everybody's smoking weed 00:21:00.300 --> 00:21:04.300 What I am saying though is that everyone is on something 00:21:04.300 --> 00:21:19.300 Everyone's on fucking drugs except me whether it's meth, whether it it's weed, whether it's alcohol, whether it's fucking heroin, whether it's mood stabilizers from their doctors or fucking random prescribed barbituids or fucking opiats or something 00:21:19.300 --> 00:21:23.300 Everyone's on fucking something except me 00:21:23.300 --> 00:21:27.300 And I'm not going to say that that's entirely entirely by choice 00:21:27.300 --> 00:21:34.300 I don't know I have never been offered any fucking barbituids or opiats or mood stabilizers 00:21:34.300 --> 00:21:40.300 If I if I if I ever was offered them would I take them? I don't know probably not 00:21:40.300 --> 00:21:48.300 But I think that's the genesis of a lot of our fucking problems is everyone is on drugs except me 00:21:48.300 --> 00:21:52.300 All right I got to stop this bit let's go on to the next segment 00:21:52.300 --> 00:22:01.300 Join Bruce and Ken on the weathered report where sharp takes real conversation and a dose of humor cut through the noise of the week 00:22:01.300 --> 00:22:09.300 From classic cars to politics, culture and the American spirit no topic is off limits 00:22:09.300 --> 00:22:17.300 Every episode brings fresh stories, lively discussion and the kind of straight talk you won won't hear anywhere else 00:22:17.300 --> 00:22:20.300 Stay weathered but never worn down 00:22:20.300 --> 00:22:27.300 Catch Bruce and Ken every Sunday at 7pm Pacific exclusively live on rumble in YouTube 00:22:27.300 --> 00:22:30.300 Or wherever you listen to podcasts 00:22:30.300 --> 00:22:31.300 Segment to you 00:22:31.300 --> 00:22:36.300 The leaves are starting to turn there's a little bit of a chill in the air 00:22:36.300 --> 00:22:42.300 The breeze is not quite as friendly as it was just last week the days are getting shorter 00:22:42.300 --> 00:22:49.300 We're just a couple weeks away from Halloween so in a lot of small towns all over the United States 00:22:49.300 --> 00:22:51.300 It's fall festival season 00:22:51.300 --> 00:22:56.300 If you've never been to one of these events you've come to the right place today 00:22:56.300 --> 00:23:00.300 I was unfortunate enough to go to my local fall festival today 00:23:00.300 --> 00:23:04.300 It's not something that I wanted to do but I found myself there anyhow 00:23:04.300 --> 00:23:13.300 And I figured when in Rome do Roman shit so I figured I would go ahead and just try to soak in the fall festival experience 00:23:13.300 --> 00:23:17.300 And take on board everything the fall festival has to offer 00:23:17.300 --> 00:23:22.300 I usually hate this sort of thing, not usually I all the time hate this sort of thing 00:23:22.300 --> 00:23:27.300 But I thought to myself this would actually be a good bit for misentral radio one way or the other 00:23:27.300 --> 00:23:33.300 If I go to the fall festival and I really enjoy it then I can talk about how wonderful it was 00:23:33.300 --> 00:23:36.300 And how I bought some fucking designer soaps 00:23:36.300 --> 00:23:39.300 And how I talk to a guy who makes shit out of wood 00:23:39.300 --> 00:23:44.300 And then burns it with a torch to make it look you know burned 00:23:44.300 --> 00:23:47.300 Maybe the fucking corn dogs have gotten better 00:23:47.300 --> 00:23:52.300 Maybe they've changed the fucking grease that they fry the funnel cakes in this year 00:23:52.300 --> 00:23:59.300 Maybe the jars of apple butter were actually canned correctly so we're not all gonna fucking die of lasturia 00:23:59.300 --> 00:24:03.300 Maybe they'll even have little games there this year where you can throw darts at balloons 00:24:03.300 --> 00:24:09.300 And fucking pick up the ducklings going by and the little river and shit and win stuff to animals 00:24:09.300 --> 00:24:13.300 Maybe I'll really fucking enjoy the fall festival this year 00:24:13.300 --> 00:24:18.300 So I can come on here to misentral radio until you got damn let me tell you what man 00:24:18.300 --> 00:24:25.300 You're really missing out if you don't get down there to your local fall festival because it's a fucking oot 00:24:25.300 --> 00:24:27.300 Maybe that's what'll happen 00:24:27.300 --> 00:24:34.300 Or I thought if it fucking sucks like I just know in my soul that it's going to 00:24:34.300 --> 00:24:37.300 That'll be a good bit for misentral radio too 00:24:37.300 --> 00:24:44.300 Anyway no matter how you slice it Lorenzo taking a fucking trip through the fall festival in small town bumble 00:24:44.300 --> 00:24:48.300 Fuck America is gonna be a good bit for misentral radio 00:24:48.300 --> 00:24:54.300 So I brought my notepad and I found a park bench located conveniently right on the city square 00:24:54.300 --> 00:25:02.300 Now fall festivals in small town America are normally situated around the county courthouse in the county seat 00:25:02.300 --> 00:25:08.300 This one is no different no matter where you walked north, south, east or west of the county courthouse 00:25:08.300 --> 00:25:15.300 There was booth after booth after booth after booth of people hawking wares making food trying to sell you coffee 00:25:15.300 --> 00:25:22.300 Basically just asking for donations or trying to buddy up with you to get your vote in the next election 00:25:22.300 --> 00:25:27.300 When I rolled up to the area of fall festival I had to park six blocks away 00:25:28.300 --> 00:25:38.300 This is already starting off like shit I had to park six fucking blocks away from what I knew to be the epicenter of all fall festival dumb 00:25:38.300 --> 00:25:40.300 I get out and make the hike up there 00:25:40.300 --> 00:25:48.300 Now in fucking fairness they did stop and offer me a ride on one of a little trams up to the frivolity 00:25:48.300 --> 00:25:55.300 But I said no I wanted to get the entire fucking fall festival experience and that means a six block trek 00:25:55.300 --> 00:26:02.300 Through this dumpy fucking trash little town to get up to the center of what is the pin ultimate event 00:26:02.300 --> 00:26:05.300 For the box little town in middle America 00:26:05.300 --> 00:26:08.300 I get about two blocks away and I'm starting to see booths 00:26:08.300 --> 00:26:17.300 Those little pop-up tents people selling apple cider and people selling fucking shit made out of metal and people selling shit that they've sowed and people selling quilts 00:26:17.300 --> 00:26:21.300 And people selling little fucking customized hand warmers 00:26:21.300 --> 00:26:26.300 People selling bags with fucking feed corn in them that they've sowed up and they said that you can microwave it 00:26:26.300 --> 00:26:34.300 And then it will be like a heating pad for you know seven minutes people offering free samples of cinnamon roasted pecans 00:26:34.300 --> 00:26:39.300 But I'm not interested in any of that shit I want to see if there's fucking amusements this year 00:26:39.300 --> 00:26:44.300 That's what I want to see I want to throw the fucking baseball at the fucking old school milk jugs 00:26:44.300 --> 00:26:49.300 I want to try to win a fucking dog shit stuffed animal that cost me eight dollars of trying to get 00:26:49.300 --> 00:26:53.300 I want to see if they've improved on what they had last year 00:26:53.300 --> 00:26:56.300 I finally get to the fucking city square 00:26:56.300 --> 00:27:07.300 The courthouse looming majestically in the background beautiful oak trees tall old 200 year oak trees lining the sidewalks all around the courthouse 00:27:07.300 --> 00:27:15.300 And on the street and on both sides of the one way street that goes all the way around the courthouse are booths 00:27:15.300 --> 00:27:22.300 After booth after booth after booth of purveyors and service providers and local politicians 00:27:22.300 --> 00:27:29.300 Local businesses people who've come from out of town trying to sell you things that they've made with their own fucking hands 00:27:29.300 --> 00:27:36.300 People selling apple butter in jams and jellies and honey made by bees on their own farms 00:27:36.300 --> 00:27:39.300 People selling quilts and afghans 00:27:39.300 --> 00:27:44.300 I walked up to this lady who was selling homemade soaps 00:27:44.300 --> 00:27:47.300 Now this isn't your grandma's lie soap 00:27:47.300 --> 00:27:49.300 No, we've moved past that 00:27:49.300 --> 00:27:51.300 This fucking soap that this lady told me about 00:27:51.300 --> 00:27:53.300 Well, I'll just let her tell you herself 00:27:53.300 --> 00:27:56.300 Hi, thank you for stopping by my booth 00:27:56.300 --> 00:27:57.300 What is it you sell here? 00:27:57.300 --> 00:28:02.300 Well, as you can see from looking around you I sell the area's greatest handmade soaps 00:28:02.300 --> 00:28:06.300 Handmade soap? Why is your soap any better than any other soap? 00:28:06.300 --> 00:28:08.300 Well, clearly you haven't heard of me 00:28:08.300 --> 00:28:20.300 Anti-B, I've been in business since 1973 making customized soaps out of goats milk, platypus placenta, cream corn and only the finest cultivated bison vagina 00:28:20.300 --> 00:28:23.300 You make soap out of buffalo pussy? 00:28:23.300 --> 00:28:28.300 That well, yes, but we prefer to call it bison vagina, it sounds a little more refined 00:28:28.300 --> 00:28:33.300 But we've been making soap around these parts for over 50 years and let me tell you we do a damn good job 00:28:33.300 --> 00:28:35.300 I might check back in with you 00:28:35.300 --> 00:28:38.300 Incidentally, how much is a bar of bison vagina soap? 00:28:38.300 --> 00:28:43.300 Well, now the bison vagina is our signature soap and you're gonna pay a pretty penny for that 00:28:43.300 --> 00:28:49.300 For a bar of that bison vagina soap, you're gonna pay no less than $12 a bar 00:28:49.300 --> 00:28:52.300 $12 a bar for fucking soap? 00:28:52.300 --> 00:28:59.300 It's the best soap you can buy, it does wonders for your skin, look at me, I'm 78 years old, I don't look a day over 50 00:28:59.300 --> 00:29:01.300 Okay, well I'll probably stop back by 00:29:01.300 --> 00:29:04.300 You do that, we gonna be here till 4 o' today 00:29:04.300 --> 00:29:06.300 Jesus, Jesus Christ, that was fucking intense 00:29:06.300 --> 00:29:09.300 Bison vagina soap, have you ever heard anything like that? 00:29:09.300 --> 00:29:12.300 I was so blown away by buffalo pussy soap 00:29:12.300 --> 00:29:16.300 And I forgot to fucking ask her about the platypus placenta 00:29:16.300 --> 00:29:18.300 What the fuck is that about? 00:29:18.300 --> 00:29:19.300 Alright, let's go to the next booth here 00:29:19.300 --> 00:29:21.300 Hello, sir, what is it you're selling here? 00:29:21.300 --> 00:29:26.300 Well, I'm glad you stopped by, I haven't had a whole lot of people stop in today 00:29:26.300 --> 00:29:30.300 Yesterday was crazy and Friday was absolutely pandemonium 00:29:30.300 --> 00:29:32.300 But today it's been kind of slow 00:29:32.300 --> 00:29:35.300 Well I'm glad I stopped by too, what is it you do here exactly? 00:29:35.300 --> 00:29:38.300 Well, frankly, to be honest, we make shit out of shit 00:29:38.300 --> 00:29:45.300 Come again, I'm a cattle farmer and one of the things that I have plenty of besides cattle is shit 00:29:45.300 --> 00:29:51.300 The only thing that I have on my farm that outnumbers my cows is the shit that they leave in my fields 00:29:51.300 --> 00:29:57.300 And I was walking around out there one day and I thought you know if there's just a way that I could monetize this shit 00:29:57.300 --> 00:29:59.300 I could probably really make some money 00:29:59.300 --> 00:30:03.300 Cause you know we're getting less on the hood for fucking cows now than we ever have before 00:30:03.300 --> 00:30:07.300 And I was thinking God damn there's gotta be something I can do with this shit 00:30:07.300 --> 00:30:12.300 So what I do is I watch my cows and when one of them takes a fucking steamy grassy shit 00:30:12.300 --> 00:30:15.300 I let it sit there for about a good hour, hour two hours maybe 00:30:15.300 --> 00:30:21.300 And then I'll go out with my fucking snow shovel and I'll lovingly scoop it up off the ground 00:30:21.300 --> 00:30:24.300 Trying to preserve the integrity of that loaf 00:30:24.300 --> 00:30:26.300 And then what do you do with it? 00:30:26.300 --> 00:30:31.300 Well then as soon as I get it transported safely I'll take it up in the house and throw it on the table there 00:30:31.300 --> 00:30:35.300 And mom will spray it down with some lacquer and basically preserve it in that condition 00:30:35.300 --> 00:30:42.300 So from that cow's asshole until the time it's preserved is normally less than three hours 00:30:42.300 --> 00:30:46.300 That is some real honest to God fresh cow shit right there 00:30:46.300 --> 00:30:48.300 Okay well what the fuck am I gonna do with that? 00:30:48.300 --> 00:30:52.300 Well then we take that cow shit and we turn it into beautiful works of art 00:30:52.300 --> 00:30:57.300 See that there that's cow shit wall clock that over there's a cow shit coffee table 00:30:57.300 --> 00:31:00.300 We've even got a whole line of serving dishes over there 00:31:00.300 --> 00:31:03.300 I see that dude what the fuck is that about? 00:31:03.300 --> 00:31:08.300 What we'll do is we'll pile about four or five of them fucking cow panties up and then we'll cover them in epoxy 00:31:08.300 --> 00:31:15.300 And we'll put them on a lathe and we'll take them we'll carve that epoxy cow shit out into a fucking beautiful salad bowl 00:31:15.300 --> 00:31:18.300 That you can use for generations 00:31:18.300 --> 00:31:24.300 Alright well thank you hold on I got one more thing to show you I got one more thing to show you this is something I'm real proud of 00:31:24.300 --> 00:31:25.300 This is something I'm real proud of 00:31:25.300 --> 00:31:30.300 Every now and then we don't have them very often because you know if you know anything about cattle farming 00:31:30.300 --> 00:31:33.300 You know you got a whole bunch of fucking cows 00:31:33.300 --> 00:31:38.300 And you got a whole bunch of fucking steers but you typically only have one bull 00:31:38.300 --> 00:31:45.300 And that one bull is in charge of fucking all them cows and getting them pregnant and keeping your fucking herd alive 00:31:45.300 --> 00:31:49.300 Yeah I get it the concept of one bull I understand how that works 00:31:49.300 --> 00:31:56.300 So a bull every now and then I'd say a bull you got about a good ten years ten years out of a bull before he's just he's just fucked out 00:31:56.300 --> 00:31:59.300 You know what I mean he's just fucked out he can't do it anymore 00:31:59.300 --> 00:32:06.300 He just can't fuck not a second longer well he goes to market to be honest with you before we take him to market 00:32:06.300 --> 00:32:14.300 Well fucking go ahead and we'll pull out his old fucking pecker that old well used rod that he's been ramming in these fucking ladies for all these years 00:32:14.300 --> 00:32:19.300 We'll take that pecker and we'll cut her off right at the base and then we'll cut her eyes the wound 00:32:19.300 --> 00:32:22.300 That right there sir that right there is a rarity 00:32:22.300 --> 00:32:28.300 You're not gonna find many of them you're not gonna figure sure as hell not gonna find one anywhere else at this year fucking festival 00:32:28.300 --> 00:32:37.300 Okay dude but what is it that sir is a cane made from the penis of my last bull the one we just took to market this spring 00:32:37.300 --> 00:32:44.300 That bull's name was anthrax because he was like a fucking plague on them fucking cows that in that field 00:32:44.300 --> 00:32:49.300 We turn him loose out there and he was just smashing smash it smash it smash it 00:32:49.300 --> 00:32:56.300 He'd be fucking wrecking pussy all day and night then cows would be screaming and he'd be stomping and roaring and being the fucking middle 00:32:56.300 --> 00:32:56.340 Fucking middle of the night he'd be out there just rotten them rotten them that penis right there breeds over 300 cows a year 00:32:56.340 --> 00:33:10.340 And that cow penis cane right there can be yours today for $125 00:33:10.340 --> 00:33:19.340 All right well thank you I will circle back around later on and if anthrax's cock is still hanging on the wall I might buy it 00:33:19.340 --> 00:33:28.340 Okay moving on that was fucking weird there's a group of ladies up here I got to walk around but let's see if we can get close enough to hear what they're fucking yapping about 00:33:28.340 --> 00:33:34.220 Well I told my billy don't even bother trying to date that chopped whore there ain't nothing good can come 00:34:19.340 --> 00:34:41.340 50 boys and my billy 00:36:47.460 --> 00:37:03.460 I want to give my mind shortly I want everyone everyone to bask in the glory of the Lord with me here today Pastor Paul 00:37:03.460 --> 00:37:10.460 from down the United Methodist church praise music sing it baby sing it that's my wife back there I want her at a card game and 00:37:10.460 --> 00:37:26.460 sing a poor that's a absolutely right she was one of them women of ill repute before she got with me and she's since given her self over to the Lord 00:37:26.460 --> 00:37:37.460 it gives herself over to me occasionally let's not be ridiculous here okay but she's given herself her soul over to the Lord but that pussy belongs to me doesn't it baby you know it does 00:37:37.460 --> 00:37:47.460 yeah that's right but anyway I at that time when I want her in that card game I was a sinner I was a sinner of the highest degree 00:37:47.460 --> 00:38:00.890 misdemeanor and misogynyton playing poker playing cards all over the world doing drugs fucking around with your 00:38:00.890 --> 00:38:12.890 causes and then the Lord spoke to me shortly after I won her in that card game and sing a poor the Lord spoke to me and said Paul 00:38:12.890 --> 00:38:22.890 what the fuck are you doing and I said well Lord I don't know what the hell I'm doing either why don't you tell me and he said I can tell I don't know what the hell you were doing but I can tell you what you are 00:38:22.890 --> 00:38:35.890 going to be doing from now on you are going to give your life over to the service of me and you are going to use all of the powers that you have assembled and amassed over your time of sin and 00:38:35.890 --> 00:38:47.890 misdemeanor and you're going to use that to bring people under my umbrella and I said Lord fucking a that sounds pretty good and he said well let that language go on time Paul but you 00:38:47.890 --> 00:38:57.890 give me again I'm gonna fuck you up and I said okay yes Lord I got you and ever since that time me and my wife who was a whore in Singapore I can't say that enough 00:38:57.890 --> 00:39:13.890 we have been spreading the word of the Lord from coast to coast nation to nation state to state festival to festival and that's what we're here to do today bring you the comfort and joy of the Lord 00:39:13.890 --> 00:39:30.890 not playing the devil's music known we're playing inspirational music praise music it's not very good to listen to I'll admit my band's not very good she's not a great singer she's got to ass on her like a 12 year old boy 00:39:30.890 --> 00:39:38.890 that's why I keep her around and the fact that she's giving her life and don't get that fucked up but come on up here today and get baptized 00:39:38.890 --> 00:39:46.890 pastor Paul right over there at the United Methodist Church come on by and see us anytime you like praise the Lord 00:39:46.890 --> 00:40:01.550 Mr. Paul from the local United Methodist Church and his wife who used to be a prostitute in Singapore up there leading the fucking praise music at the local fall festival 00:40:01.550 --> 00:40:11.550 I hope you enjoyed the nickel tour of the fall festival I didn't even make it to the fucking corn dog stand or the place where they make funnel cakes and I didn't get to talk to the fucking standard issue 00:40:11.550 --> 00:40:25.550 veteran owned coffee place down the road but I think I gave you the highlights of every fall festival everywhere and I'm telling you from me you don't have to go I went for you 00:40:25.550 --> 00:40:33.550 and I brought you along with me that's gonna pretty much do it for this episode of Missing Throat Radio I just really hope you dig the show 00:40:33.550 --> 00:40:41.550 it sounds like such a fucking simple thing to say but I can't say it much planer than that I just kind of hope you dig what I'm trying to do here 00:40:41.550 --> 00:40:51.550 I'm not trying to be serious all the time I'm not trying to sway your opinions on things or fucking get you to buy any kinds of fucking products or sell you a fucking service 00:40:51.550 --> 00:41:01.550 I'm not trying to sell you on a fucking ideology or a dream I just want to fucking entertain you in a weird sort of way for 30, 45 minutes at a time once every week or two 00:41:01.550 --> 00:41:13.550 if I can give you a little dose of unreality every week or two then I've achieved my goal all right thank you again for coming along for this episode of Missing Throat Radio 00:41:13.550 --> 00:41:15.550 until next time