WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.000 Mission through radio. 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:06.640 In my own way, I was born fully grown. 00:00:06.640 --> 00:00:16.680 I was born Ilyrio Zapata, Domingo, Franceso, Juan Paco Medina, Ruiz, Luis Vega Rosendo, Sanchez 00:00:16.680 --> 00:00:17.680 Sanchez. 00:00:17.680 --> 00:00:19.960 My father died shortly before I was born. 00:00:19.960 --> 00:00:25.720 He mulled the cartels product north of the border in a balloon burst in his ass. 00:00:25.720 --> 00:00:27.200 Life got hard then. 00:00:27.200 --> 00:00:29.880 My mother was at work all the time. 00:00:29.880 --> 00:00:31.520 I was left on my own. 00:00:31.520 --> 00:00:34.600 She said she used her mouth to make her living. 00:00:34.600 --> 00:00:39.400 I used to think that that meant singing, but now I'm not so sure. 00:00:39.400 --> 00:00:52.290 Welcome to season 2, Episode 3 of Mission through radio. 00:00:52.290 --> 00:00:58.530 Back in the day when I was in college, I sold tires and a Sears tire and auto center. 00:00:58.530 --> 00:01:01.690 I think those places are all gone now. 00:01:01.690 --> 00:01:04.610 Sears is pretty much defunct in general, right? 00:01:04.610 --> 00:01:09.770 But anyway, I sold tires at a Sears tire and auto center. 00:01:09.770 --> 00:01:11.570 And I worked for a guy in my boss. 00:01:11.570 --> 00:01:13.370 He was a guy named Butch. 00:01:13.370 --> 00:01:14.370 And I'm not shitting. 00:01:14.370 --> 00:01:15.890 His name was literally Butch. 00:01:15.890 --> 00:01:19.450 He was a literal Butch on his driver's license. 00:01:19.450 --> 00:01:21.170 His Butch because I didn't believe it either. 00:01:21.170 --> 00:01:25.290 I was like, what's your name Franklin or something like Milton or something fucked up and 00:01:25.290 --> 00:01:26.610 you go by Butch? 00:01:26.610 --> 00:01:28.250 And he said, no, it's my actual name. 00:01:28.250 --> 00:01:30.010 And he looked at me like I'd lost my mind. 00:01:30.010 --> 00:01:34.490 I can't believe I'm the only person that ever asked him that question, but apparently I was. 00:01:34.490 --> 00:01:39.250 But anyway, as you can imagine with a name like Butch, he was a man of few words. 00:01:39.250 --> 00:01:43.530 And he said something to me one time that really fucking stuck with me. 00:01:43.530 --> 00:01:48.090 But he was talking about one of my coworkers, one of the new hires, how he was constantly 00:01:48.090 --> 00:01:49.890 running his fucking app. 00:01:49.890 --> 00:01:53.250 And he said something that I don't think I will ever forget. 00:01:53.250 --> 00:01:57.970 Butch in his very leconic style said this. 00:01:57.970 --> 00:02:01.490 People when they meet you automatically assume that you're a fucking idiot. 00:02:01.490 --> 00:02:05.650 The best thing you can do is keep your mouth shut because when people open their mouths 00:02:05.650 --> 00:02:09.090 more often than not, they confirm the assumptions. 00:02:09.090 --> 00:02:13.290 Now I'm not going to say that Butch's words of wisdom changed my life and anyway, I was 00:02:13.290 --> 00:02:16.770 never one to engage people in conversation anyhow. 00:02:16.770 --> 00:02:21.890 But I have to admit, even now when I meet new people or I find myself in a situation 00:02:21.890 --> 00:02:25.610 where I have to interact with someone that I just don't know. 00:02:25.610 --> 00:02:29.010 Butch's rich baritone rings in my fucking ears. 00:02:29.010 --> 00:02:30.570 People assume you're an idiot. 00:02:30.570 --> 00:02:34.570 To just keep your fucking mouth shut, lest you prove them right. 00:02:34.570 --> 00:02:39.610 It's astonishing to me that especially in the day and age of the smartphone, more people 00:02:39.610 --> 00:02:44.490 don't just exercise their right to keep their fucking mouth shut. 00:02:44.490 --> 00:02:45.490 It's a phenomenon. 00:02:45.490 --> 00:02:46.650 It was always there. 00:02:46.650 --> 00:02:50.810 There was always a person in the fucking room who couldn't stand silence or couldn't 00:02:50.810 --> 00:02:56.810 stand the blank space who had to fucking prattle on about anything in order to get any kind 00:02:56.810 --> 00:02:58.810 of engagement from anyone. 00:02:58.810 --> 00:03:02.210 That was something that's always happened throughout human history. 00:03:02.210 --> 00:03:03.530 This is not new. 00:03:03.530 --> 00:03:07.890 However, in the wake of COVID, things have changed. 00:03:07.890 --> 00:03:11.850 I don't know whether it was the fucked up forced isolation. 00:03:11.850 --> 00:03:15.490 I don't know if the internet has made everyone feel like they're the star of any room 00:03:15.490 --> 00:03:16.490 therein. 00:03:16.490 --> 00:03:19.770 I don't know if it's a side effect of the fucking vaccine. 00:03:19.770 --> 00:03:24.810 All I know is that before COVID, when you would find yourself in an enclosed space with 00:03:24.810 --> 00:03:30.490 someone you don't know, and they tried to engage you in small talk and you didn't engage 00:03:30.490 --> 00:03:36.330 back, eventually they would either leave the enclosed space or they would take on board 00:03:36.330 --> 00:03:41.090 that you were not interested in fucking talking to them and they would shut the fuck up. 00:03:41.090 --> 00:03:45.730 Post COVID, however, what I'm finding is that people try to engage me in small talk. 00:03:45.730 --> 00:03:52.290 They realize I'm not gonna fucking engage back and then they just keep going and going 00:03:52.290 --> 00:03:57.330 and the shit that they say gets more personal and more personal and more personal until they're 00:03:57.330 --> 00:04:01.450 revealing shit to me that they shouldn't fucking tell anyone. 00:04:01.450 --> 00:04:06.090 For example, the other day I was at Walmart getting my oil changed, sitting in that fucking 00:04:06.090 --> 00:04:11.370 glass walled side room with a lady who was there to also get her oil changed. 00:04:11.370 --> 00:04:14.850 We were the only ones in the room and this is the interaction. 00:04:14.850 --> 00:04:17.930 Boy, they sure aren't moving very fast today, are they? 00:04:17.930 --> 00:04:20.210 I offer her nothing but silence. 00:04:20.210 --> 00:04:23.090 Never have someone say a bunch of negative shit about you. 00:04:23.090 --> 00:04:25.610 Just tell everyone they know all your business. 00:04:25.610 --> 00:04:27.610 Well the lady cuts my hair, Serena. 00:04:27.610 --> 00:04:31.810 She's been telling every lady who puts her ass down in that chair how I sleep with my 00:04:31.810 --> 00:04:32.810 dogs. 00:04:32.810 --> 00:04:33.810 What? 00:04:33.810 --> 00:04:38.370 It don't happen very often but occasionally I like to get into Keelin next thing you 00:04:38.370 --> 00:04:41.290 know them German shepherds is running a train on me. 00:04:41.290 --> 00:04:44.610 I'm not gonna lie, it feels good it's the acceptance and the way that they love me 00:04:44.610 --> 00:04:45.930 and they cuddle me afterwards. 00:04:45.930 --> 00:04:48.570 God damn it, I just wanna be held sometimes. 00:04:48.570 --> 00:04:49.570 You know what I mean? 00:04:49.570 --> 00:04:51.530 Sometimes you just wanna be held. 00:04:51.530 --> 00:04:53.730 And she tells everyone about this. 00:04:53.730 --> 00:04:55.210 Do you believe that bitch? 00:04:55.210 --> 00:04:57.530 Tells everyone she sees. 00:04:57.530 --> 00:05:02.370 Every person sets her ass in that chair to get their hair did, gets the story of how Lorena 00:05:02.370 --> 00:05:04.170 likes to fuck her dogs. 00:05:04.170 --> 00:05:06.930 It's not something that I can control, okay? 00:05:06.930 --> 00:05:11.450 Well, Lorena there's always people who have negative things to say. 00:05:11.450 --> 00:05:15.850 What they say is a reflection of who they are instead of who you are. 00:05:15.850 --> 00:05:16.850 Yes. 00:05:16.850 --> 00:05:17.850 Absolutely. 00:05:17.850 --> 00:05:18.850 God damn. 00:05:18.850 --> 00:05:22.410 I'm gonna say maybe once every two, three months I fuck all them dogs. 00:05:22.410 --> 00:05:24.290 It ain't something what happens all the time. 00:05:24.290 --> 00:05:26.650 It ain't like we're in love or nothing. 00:05:26.650 --> 00:05:28.370 It just, it just, it just happens. 00:05:28.370 --> 00:05:29.690 It just happens. 00:05:29.690 --> 00:05:33.890 And Serena acts like she ain't never fuck no dogs or thought about it. 00:05:33.890 --> 00:05:36.610 Yeah, I totally understand Lorena. 00:05:36.610 --> 00:05:39.090 That sort of thing could happen to anyone. 00:05:39.090 --> 00:05:43.050 Your god damn right it could okay well I got to go pay for my oil change. 00:05:43.050 --> 00:05:45.050 It's been so nice talking to you. 00:05:45.050 --> 00:05:46.050 What the fuck? 00:05:46.050 --> 00:05:51.490 Now that was the much abridged version of my interaction with Lorena. 00:05:51.490 --> 00:05:56.130 Moving forward I think I'm gonna give you a taste of the entire progression. 00:05:56.130 --> 00:05:58.330 Same oil change, different skank. 00:05:58.330 --> 00:06:00.170 This chick identified herself as. 00:06:00.170 --> 00:06:01.170 Brittany. 00:06:01.170 --> 00:06:04.370 Do you have any idea what's going on in the world of hip hop right now? 00:06:04.370 --> 00:06:06.570 I broke my phone the other day. 00:06:06.570 --> 00:06:09.370 No, I don't really keep up with hip hop. 00:06:09.370 --> 00:06:12.850 Oh my god, then what do you keep up with? 00:06:12.850 --> 00:06:15.730 It's just like so fucking fascinating to me. 00:06:15.730 --> 00:06:17.650 It's like it's own little world. 00:06:17.650 --> 00:06:22.010 The things that go on in the world of hip hop, it's like it's own little universe. 00:06:22.010 --> 00:06:23.530 It's just so fucking fascinating. 00:06:23.530 --> 00:06:25.010 I can't get enough of it. 00:06:25.010 --> 00:06:29.050 And I find myself subscribing to all of the different services that follow. 00:06:29.050 --> 00:06:30.570 I don't even look up. 00:06:30.570 --> 00:06:33.690 I just sit there looking down at my phone. 00:06:33.690 --> 00:06:36.090 Of course I've never met anyone famous. 00:06:36.090 --> 00:06:40.570 But I think that if I could, like if I was one of those like fucking make a wish kids 00:06:40.570 --> 00:06:44.410 or something like that, I think it'd be someone from the world of hip hop. 00:06:44.410 --> 00:06:44.450 Like Lil' Juicy or Lil' Gravy or 00:06:44.450 --> 00:06:47.450 Lil' Chucky. 00:06:47.450 --> 00:06:49.530 One of those guys I think. 00:06:49.530 --> 00:06:52.850 I think I'd fucking totally want to meet one of those guys. 00:06:52.850 --> 00:06:57.570 You know, my boyfriend and I, well I should say my ex, boyfriend and I. 00:06:57.570 --> 00:06:59.090 And here we go. 00:06:59.090 --> 00:07:00.410 Notice the progression. 00:07:00.410 --> 00:07:02.570 At first she asks something benign. 00:07:02.570 --> 00:07:06.490 Like how long do you think it's going to take to get my fucking oil changed? 00:07:06.490 --> 00:07:09.810 Then do you happen to know anything about the world of hip hop? 00:07:09.810 --> 00:07:14.290 Then when I don't really engage, she continues fucking yapping. 00:07:14.290 --> 00:07:19.090 Sitting there on the bench, incidentally surrounded by fucking magazines. 00:07:19.090 --> 00:07:22.890 Then she could use to occupy her time and keep her fucking mouth shut. 00:07:22.890 --> 00:07:28.330 Instead, she's hyper focused on me and she's prattling on and on and on. 00:07:28.330 --> 00:07:30.730 And now it's starting to get personal. 00:07:30.730 --> 00:07:35.810 Yeah, Brittany, why don't you go ahead and tell us about you and your fucking ex-boyfriend. 00:07:35.810 --> 00:07:39.250 Well, my ex-boyfriend now, he was so smothering. 00:07:39.250 --> 00:07:41.330 He was so fucking controlling. 00:07:41.330 --> 00:07:43.090 He was a total fucking narcissist. 00:07:43.090 --> 00:07:45.370 Oh yeah, narcissist. 00:07:45.370 --> 00:07:46.690 Lots of women are dating those. 00:07:46.690 --> 00:07:48.890 I know, it's fucking crazy. 00:07:48.890 --> 00:07:51.690 It's like we're just fucking breeding narcissists. 00:07:51.690 --> 00:07:54.330 What did he do that was narcissistic, Brittany? 00:07:54.330 --> 00:07:59.650 Well, I guess it's like my own fucking fault, sort of in a weird way because we were having 00:07:59.650 --> 00:08:02.970 a conversation one day and I asked about hall passes. 00:08:02.970 --> 00:08:06.850 And he said that he didn't need a fucking hall pass for anyone, which is super fucking 00:08:06.850 --> 00:08:09.410 cute but it's such a fucking lie, of course. 00:08:09.410 --> 00:08:13.090 It's like if you could fuck anyone, why wouldn't you choose a celebrity? 00:08:13.090 --> 00:08:14.330 So I told him mine. 00:08:14.330 --> 00:08:19.170 Mine would be little crush or little pump or little nostril or cheesy fish gravy or any 00:08:19.170 --> 00:08:21.650 one of those fucking hip-hop superstars. 00:08:21.650 --> 00:08:24.850 And he was super disgusted because you know he's insecure and he didn't know that I was 00:08:24.850 --> 00:08:26.450 into the blacks like that. 00:08:26.450 --> 00:08:29.410 Yeah, Brittany sounds like a total narcissist. 00:08:29.410 --> 00:08:32.530 So I am barked on a journey to find myself. 00:08:32.530 --> 00:08:38.090 Like fucking, I need to know who I am and naturally that led me to only fans because I'm not 00:08:38.090 --> 00:08:39.890 trying to fucking work. 00:08:39.890 --> 00:08:42.490 That's the thing Jeremy, that was his fucking name. 00:08:42.490 --> 00:08:44.290 Everyone named Jeremy is super controlling. 00:08:44.290 --> 00:08:45.290 Did you know that? 00:08:45.290 --> 00:08:50.210 Statistically more narcissists are named Jeremy than any other fucking name. 00:08:50.210 --> 00:08:51.970 I had no idea, Brittany. 00:08:51.970 --> 00:08:53.530 That's super fascinating. 00:08:53.530 --> 00:08:54.530 Isn't it? 00:08:54.530 --> 00:08:59.010 But Jeremy took care of all the bills and just fucking paid for everything. 00:08:59.010 --> 00:09:02.770 So it was kind of a fucking bummer that we broke up because like now what am I going to 00:09:02.770 --> 00:09:03.770 do for money? 00:09:08.090 --> 00:09:11.690 And then I like fucking broke my phone and now I don't even know what's going on. 00:09:11.690 --> 00:09:15.650 I don't know if I'm getting new subscribers or if I'm losing subs because I haven't been 00:09:15.650 --> 00:09:16.650 on for a few days. 00:09:16.650 --> 00:09:18.170 I'm like totally freaking out. 00:09:18.170 --> 00:09:20.530 I like recently did my first anal scene. 00:09:20.530 --> 00:09:24.450 I'd done anal before like in my personal life but I'd never done anything with any kind 00:09:24.450 --> 00:09:25.450 of implements. 00:09:25.450 --> 00:09:26.450 You know what I mean? 00:09:26.450 --> 00:09:29.010 But anyway, I totally key-starred a fucking bowling pin. 00:09:29.010 --> 00:09:30.010 It took forever. 00:09:30.010 --> 00:09:32.850 Like for fucking ever to get that bowling pin up there. 00:09:32.850 --> 00:09:34.850 It was so crazy and it hurt so bad. 00:09:34.850 --> 00:09:38.290 I just hope that I get so many subscribers and followers out of it. 00:09:38.290 --> 00:09:43.610 Now this is where I always reply with an inspirational meme that I've seen on the internet. 00:09:43.610 --> 00:09:45.090 Keystering bowling pins. 00:09:45.090 --> 00:09:46.490 Oh good on ya. 00:09:46.490 --> 00:09:49.370 All things are difficult before they are easy. 00:09:49.370 --> 00:09:52.810 That was the only meme I could think of right off the top of my head that you could apply 00:09:52.810 --> 00:09:53.810 to anal. 00:09:53.810 --> 00:09:58.490 It was either that or a number two pencil on a dream can take you anywhere. 00:09:58.490 --> 00:10:01.290 I guess that could apply to anal as well. 00:10:01.290 --> 00:10:03.290 Yeah, I totally understand what you're saying. 00:10:03.290 --> 00:10:05.290 That's like so fucking wise. 00:10:05.290 --> 00:10:09.530 It's not that I like want to get good at keystering things like bowling pins and fire hydrants 00:10:09.530 --> 00:10:14.970 but if it gives me a competitive edge and gets me in the top 1% of only fans earners, 00:10:14.970 --> 00:10:17.530 I really just need a way to support my lifestyle. 00:10:17.530 --> 00:10:18.530 You know what I mean? 00:10:18.530 --> 00:10:20.330 Cause work, it's just like not for me. 00:10:20.330 --> 00:10:21.770 Look at me, I'm fucking hot. 00:10:21.770 --> 00:10:24.610 Okay, well I'm gonna walk around the store and talk to you. 00:10:24.610 --> 00:10:26.530 People can't fucking help themselves. 00:10:26.530 --> 00:10:32.050 People literally cannot help, prattling on until they reveal too much. 00:10:32.050 --> 00:10:33.450 But that's the thing. 00:10:33.450 --> 00:10:36.170 That's the phenomenon that just blows my mind. 00:10:36.170 --> 00:10:41.050 There was a time when you would sit there after an encounter like that and go fuck. 00:10:41.050 --> 00:10:44.050 Did I just tell that motherfucker my entire life story? 00:10:44.050 --> 00:10:48.410 But I don't fucking think Brittany is out there walking the aisles of Walmart thinking 00:10:48.410 --> 00:10:50.890 I don't even know that fucking guy's name. 00:10:50.890 --> 00:10:55.410 And I told him that I want to fuck basically everyone in the fucking world of hip hop. 00:10:55.410 --> 00:11:00.690 My ex boyfriend paid for everything and instead of getting a job, I'm just gonna show everyone 00:11:00.690 --> 00:11:02.810 my asshole on the internet. 00:11:02.810 --> 00:11:04.450 What the fuck is going on? 00:11:04.450 --> 00:11:06.650 What the fuck is happening to people? 00:11:06.650 --> 00:11:11.330 Here's another interaction and this is a little bit of a dramatization but not fucking 00:11:11.330 --> 00:11:12.410 much. 00:11:17.930 --> 00:11:21.130 The characters was talking about shitting on a coffee table. 00:11:21.130 --> 00:11:26.130 This interaction is where the inspiration for that fucking bit came from. 00:11:26.130 --> 00:11:31.250 I was down at the VA and I was waiting to get called back to get my fucking glasses adjusted. 00:11:31.250 --> 00:11:33.510 He was just me and one other guy. 00:11:33.510 --> 00:11:38.170 And I could tell by the look on his face, he was not gonna be able to fucking sit there 00:11:38.170 --> 00:11:41.630 in silence and wait for his turn to get called back. 00:11:41.630 --> 00:11:44.230 No, he was gonna fucking start with the small talk. 00:11:44.230 --> 00:11:45.730 Hey man, you using the Navy? 00:11:45.730 --> 00:11:47.230 Yeah, I was in the Navy. 00:11:47.230 --> 00:11:51.790 Hey yeah, me too, goddamn, I was in the Navy back in the 80s when we didn't do nothing. 00:11:51.790 --> 00:11:52.790 You know what I mean? 00:11:52.790 --> 00:11:57.070 Like I can't even get into the VFW because there wasn't no fucking foreign wars to fight. 00:11:57.070 --> 00:11:59.190 Yeah, I've met a lot of guys like that. 00:11:59.190 --> 00:12:01.190 Kind of a good deal though if you think about it. 00:12:01.190 --> 00:12:05.110 Oh god damn, everybody asked me how many fucking kills I got in shit. 00:12:05.110 --> 00:12:08.270 I never even fired a fucking M4 and M16. 00:12:08.270 --> 00:12:09.270 . 00:12:09.270 --> 00:12:13.510 No, I just did your basic quals that you do at boot camp, the 9mm in the shotgun and then 00:12:13.510 --> 00:12:14.510 that was it. 00:12:14.510 --> 00:12:15.510 Piece time. 00:12:15.510 --> 00:12:17.230 I was a piece time sailor. 00:12:17.230 --> 00:12:21.870 That was back in the days when we would sail from port to port basically just to fucking 00:12:21.870 --> 00:12:22.870 spend money. 00:12:22.870 --> 00:12:25.230 Kinda sounds like a good time actually did. 00:12:25.230 --> 00:12:27.790 And then I go back to looking at my magazine. 00:12:27.790 --> 00:12:29.870 It's the thing about these fucking places. 00:12:29.870 --> 00:12:35.350 All of these places where you have random encounters, they're just littered in fucking magazines, 00:12:35.350 --> 00:12:39.590 periodicals, news papers, any manner of fucking reading material. 00:12:39.590 --> 00:12:42.350 But nobody fucking reads anymore, I guess. 00:12:42.350 --> 00:12:45.070 And they sure as hell aren't into letting me read. 00:12:45.070 --> 00:12:48.630 A few moments go by with no words exchanged. 00:12:48.630 --> 00:12:49.630 And then he starts in again. 00:12:49.630 --> 00:12:52.990 Now I was just sitting over here thinking about that time I was in Australia. 00:12:52.990 --> 00:12:55.110 Did you ever make it down to Australia? 00:12:55.110 --> 00:12:59.750 No I was an East Coast sailor so we went directly to the fucking Middle East and then turned 00:12:59.750 --> 00:13:01.630 around and came directly back. 00:13:01.630 --> 00:13:02.950 Oh man you missed out. 00:13:02.950 --> 00:13:09.070 Then fucking Australian ladies got damn they were some fucking dirty little whores. 00:13:09.070 --> 00:13:12.510 I say nothing and just look back down at my magazine. 00:13:12.510 --> 00:13:16.350 We made port in one of their towns and tried to remember the name of the fucking town. 00:13:16.350 --> 00:13:18.110 I think it was Perth. 00:13:18.110 --> 00:13:19.870 It wasn't Sydney, I know that. 00:13:19.870 --> 00:13:21.750 I think it was Perth. 00:13:21.750 --> 00:13:42.790 They met us on the fucking 00:14:42.790 --> 00:14:52.790 way. 00:14:52.790 --> 00:15:01.070 And then Shiloh grabs me by the hand and lays me down on the ground and I'm thinking okay 00:15:01.070 --> 00:15:03.430 this shit here's about ready to kick off. 00:15:03.430 --> 00:15:06.550 And that's when the other girl now I don't remember her fucking name now. 00:15:06.550 --> 00:15:08.590 It's been goddamn, it's been a long time. 00:15:08.590 --> 00:15:10.710 I just told you her name was it Cynthia? 00:15:10.710 --> 00:15:12.510 I think it was Cynthia. 00:15:12.510 --> 00:15:15.550 Now Cynthia strips down but naked now. 00:15:42.510 --> 00:15:59.910 It blew my fucking mind. 00:16:12.510 --> 00:16:24.030 The optometrist assistant calls my fucking name. 00:16:24.030 --> 00:16:30.190 So I tell you these stories and give you these little vignettes and anecdotes for this reason 00:16:30.190 --> 00:16:31.190 here. 00:16:31.190 --> 00:16:32.590 Give it a shot. 00:16:32.590 --> 00:16:36.910 Find yourself in an enclosed space with someone you don't know. 00:16:36.910 --> 00:16:40.430 Don't interact with them in any way and watch what happens. 00:16:40.430 --> 00:16:46.350 Now in fairness 85 to 90% of the time what you're going to see is somebody bury their 00:16:46.350 --> 00:16:48.110 fucking head in their cell phone. 00:16:48.110 --> 00:16:50.030 And that's just fucking fine. 00:16:50.030 --> 00:16:51.190 That's actually perfect. 00:16:51.190 --> 00:16:54.190 That's all anyone could ever ask for in an interaction. 00:16:54.190 --> 00:16:56.870 Don't interact with me but that 10%. 00:16:56.870 --> 00:17:01.830 That 10 people out of 100 or that one person out of 10 who's not going to be satisfied to 00:17:01.830 --> 00:17:08.310 read the fucking magazines and old newspapers or dick around on their fucking phone or watch 00:17:08.310 --> 00:17:12.190 the fucking prices right on the shitty TV in the waiting room. 00:17:12.190 --> 00:17:18.390 That person that one in 10, that diamond in the rough, is going to give you something 00:17:18.390 --> 00:17:21.270 to talk about for years and years. 00:17:21.270 --> 00:17:26.830 If you just follow these simple instructions, do not engage. 00:17:26.830 --> 00:17:28.190 Do not interact. 00:17:28.190 --> 00:17:32.510 Do not buy into the small talk because once you buy into the small talk you're in small 00:17:32.510 --> 00:17:33.670 talk land. 00:17:33.670 --> 00:17:38.190 So if you don't engage in the small talk, they'll eventually move on to something a little 00:17:38.190 --> 00:17:43.950 bit more personal, a little bit more important to them, a little bit closer to home. 00:17:43.950 --> 00:17:49.510 Engage with that, minimally, just to be polite and then watch them fly off the fucking 00:17:49.510 --> 00:17:50.830 rails from there. 00:17:50.830 --> 00:17:52.870 It happens everywhere I go. 00:17:52.870 --> 00:17:56.990 It's absolutely the pinnacle of idiotic humanity. 00:17:56.990 --> 00:17:59.830 And on one hand it's fucking super annoying. 00:17:59.830 --> 00:18:03.390 But on the other hand, I'm fucking here for it. 00:18:03.390 --> 00:18:04.390 How can I not be? 00:18:04.390 --> 00:18:09.710 I would have never got that fucking shitting on the coffee table story. 00:18:09.710 --> 00:18:15.150 If I hadn't had that stupid mother fucker at the VA not be able to fucking keep his 00:18:15.150 --> 00:18:16.310 mouth shut. 00:18:16.310 --> 00:18:21.030 So I did get that fucking nugget and it was wonderful and I've used it on missing through 00:18:21.030 --> 00:18:22.030 a radio. 00:18:22.030 --> 00:18:23.590 I guess technically twice now. 00:18:23.590 --> 00:18:26.030 But for the most part it's just fucking annoying. 00:18:26.030 --> 00:18:27.350 Alright. 00:18:27.350 --> 00:18:29.190 On to the next segment. 00:18:29.190 --> 00:18:31.190 Welcome to the Boomerbunker podcast. 00:18:31.190 --> 00:18:33.990 We're at a jersey where we don't sugarcoat a damn thing. 00:18:33.990 --> 00:18:35.390 We call it like we see it. 00:18:35.390 --> 00:18:38.070 Loud, proud with a side of attitude. 00:18:38.070 --> 00:18:40.550 Politics, culture, everyday nonsense. 00:19:01.190 --> 00:19:06.750 It was this poor fucking middle-aged bastard standing at the fucking stove. 00:19:06.750 --> 00:19:07.950 Cooking. 00:19:07.950 --> 00:19:13.630 And while he was cooking his wife, I'm assuming it was his wife, was standing there recording 00:19:13.630 --> 00:19:19.830 him while he was cooking and while she was berating him, telling him that this is what 00:19:19.830 --> 00:19:23.790 he needs to be doing and this is what he deserves to be doing. 00:19:23.790 --> 00:19:27.790 And she shouldn't have to fucking cook for him and frankly she's not gonna fucking cook 00:19:27.790 --> 00:19:29.070 for him anymore. 00:19:29.070 --> 00:19:33.830 And this is the sort of thing that he should be doing for her after his fucking 12 hour 00:19:33.830 --> 00:19:34.830 shift. 00:19:34.830 --> 00:19:41.030 She's been at home all by herself, trapped up in that fucking house all day and what 00:19:41.030 --> 00:19:47.350 she should be able to expect when he gets home is for him to walk in, drop his fucking 00:19:47.350 --> 00:19:52.350 gear on the table and get to work preparing her a home cooked meal. 00:19:52.350 --> 00:19:57.110 And she was shit talking him the whole time and you could see how humiliated he was. 00:19:57.110 --> 00:19:58.110 And he was embarrassed. 00:19:58.110 --> 00:20:02.070 You could see on his face the wonder why do I put up with this shit. 00:20:02.070 --> 00:20:08.950 Well frankly it's cheaper to keep her but back to the video I gotta say I think the video 00:20:08.950 --> 00:20:09.950 was satire. 00:20:09.950 --> 00:20:16.510 I really do it but I can't imagine any man standing there taking that fucking beating from that 00:20:16.510 --> 00:20:20.790 stupid fucking broad after a 12 hour shift. 00:20:20.790 --> 00:20:22.630 I just don't see it. 00:20:22.630 --> 00:20:24.150 But maybe I'm wrong. 00:20:24.150 --> 00:20:28.190 So I watched that video and I was really frankly kind of upset. 00:20:28.190 --> 00:20:33.670 Upset at the possibility and even probability that not only did that bastard have to experience 00:20:33.670 --> 00:20:39.830 something like that but that his experience if it's real was not at all unique. 00:20:39.830 --> 00:20:43.630 And furthermore now I didn't put any fucking effort into researching it. 00:20:43.630 --> 00:20:49.350 Frankly I didn't feel like being pissed off that day but furthermore I can only imagine 00:20:49.350 --> 00:20:54.550 the types of comments that a video posted on the fucking social media would garner. 00:20:54.550 --> 00:20:57.470 You go girl, burn your fucking brawl. 00:20:57.470 --> 00:21:01.590 Glorious Steinem would be so proud blah blah blah shit like that. 00:21:01.590 --> 00:21:05.670 And then when I was editing the last bit, specifically the part where Brittany was talking 00:21:05.670 --> 00:21:11.030 about how she just got out of a shitty relationship and she was finding herself by ramming things 00:21:11.030 --> 00:21:13.110 in her ass on only fans. 00:21:13.110 --> 00:21:16.550 As I was editing that bit something occurred to me. 00:21:16.550 --> 00:21:19.630 Something that I can't believe I hadn't thought of before. 00:21:19.630 --> 00:21:23.110 Something that I can't believe is not talked about more. 00:21:23.110 --> 00:21:28.150 Women throughout the course of human history have been using small dogs, random implements, 00:21:28.150 --> 00:21:33.990 rocks, vegetables and now fully automated latex covered implements in order to get themselves 00:21:33.990 --> 00:21:35.310 off. 00:21:35.310 --> 00:21:41.310 And they've been doing it in the name of self care and self love and self pleasure because 00:21:41.310 --> 00:21:44.630 men just don't know what the fuck they're doing down there. 00:21:44.630 --> 00:21:47.070 They can't find the fucking G spot. 00:21:47.070 --> 00:21:49.510 They don't know where the clit is. 00:21:49.510 --> 00:21:55.950 They wouldn't know a labia from a labrador so we gotta take matters into our own hands. 00:21:55.950 --> 00:22:00.270 Because we're empowered, we burned our fucking brawl, we don't cook for nobody, we're 00:22:00.270 --> 00:22:02.990 not doing laundry, we're not cleaning shit. 00:22:02.990 --> 00:22:07.430 We only want to work certain jobs and now we don't even need your penis. 00:22:07.430 --> 00:22:10.110 Women have been fucking everything. 00:22:10.110 --> 00:22:13.110 Being men, since the beginning of time. 00:22:13.110 --> 00:22:18.910 So why is there such a stigma attached to men doing the same thing? 00:22:18.910 --> 00:22:19.910 Think about it. 00:22:19.910 --> 00:22:24.950 It's just taken as understood that whatever's in the night stand on your wife's side of the 00:22:24.950 --> 00:22:27.870 bed, you don't fucking talk about. 00:22:27.870 --> 00:22:33.550 It's just taken as understood that when she goes to those fucking parties with her girlfriends 00:22:33.550 --> 00:22:38.990 and comes home with a black bag full of shit, you're not to really ask what's in that 00:22:38.990 --> 00:22:39.990 bag. 00:22:40.070 --> 00:22:45.590 It's just taken as understood that implements are part of a woman's sex life. 00:22:45.590 --> 00:22:52.230 So why is there such a fucking stigma attached to men doing exactly the same thing? 00:22:52.230 --> 00:22:56.390 Well in my very simple mind, I think it's fairly obvious. 00:22:56.390 --> 00:23:01.830 Women have been in control of straight, male pleasure since the beginning of time. 00:23:01.830 --> 00:23:05.950 And they are not in any hurry to relinquish that power. 00:23:05.950 --> 00:23:06.950 Think about it. 00:23:06.950 --> 00:23:11.310 If you're a man of a certain age, what stupid shit have you done in order to get laid? 00:23:11.310 --> 00:23:16.550 Men will do almost anything in order to get a woman to say yes. 00:23:16.550 --> 00:23:17.710 Why? 00:23:17.710 --> 00:23:19.150 What the fuck for? 00:23:19.150 --> 00:23:20.430 Take a fucking step back. 00:23:20.430 --> 00:23:25.030 Take a 700 foot view of the situation of your situation. 00:23:25.030 --> 00:23:31.350 Why are you doing all of the shit you do in order to get fucking 15 seconds in some vagina? 00:23:31.350 --> 00:23:32.350 What for? 00:23:32.350 --> 00:23:33.350 Why? 00:23:33.350 --> 00:23:34.350 Why do you deal with it? 00:23:34.350 --> 00:23:39.470 Why do you deal with all the fucking mood swings and the horse shit and the needless expense? 00:23:39.470 --> 00:23:44.910 Why are you living in a fucking house where you're surrounded by shit that is not yours? 00:23:44.910 --> 00:23:46.910 Why are you doing this? 00:23:46.910 --> 00:23:54.190 Because it's what you thought you were A supposed to do and B the only way you can get laid is to have one live in the house. 00:23:54.190 --> 00:23:56.950 So I'm here today to tell you there's a better way. 00:23:56.950 --> 00:24:00.270 On the market for years there's been a thing called a flashlight. 00:24:00.270 --> 00:24:01.590 You know what a flashlight is? 00:24:01.590 --> 00:24:02.670 Let me tell you. 00:24:02.670 --> 00:24:07.390 It's a very simple cylinder with a latex mock up of a vagina. 00:24:07.390 --> 00:24:09.870 You literally put your dick in it and fuck it. 00:24:09.870 --> 00:24:15.070 And then when you have finished, hopefully you clean up, but you don't have to, it's your flashlight. 00:24:15.070 --> 00:24:17.910 And there's not some annoying fucking woman attached to it. 00:24:17.910 --> 00:24:21.990 So you can literally just throw it in a drawer and go live your fucking life. 00:24:21.990 --> 00:24:26.670 No cuddling, no fucking runs to get chocolate with your fucking dick stuck to your leg. 00:24:26.670 --> 00:24:30.870 No passing out and waking up to some girl screaming and asking who you are and how Commission 00:24:30.870 --> 00:24:33.070 got here. None of that shit. 00:24:33.070 --> 00:24:39.350 All of that shit goes away with the purchase of a flashlight, but women are evil geniuses. 00:24:39.350 --> 00:24:44.670 Like I said earlier, they have had the monopoly on straight male pleasure since the beginning 00:24:44.670 --> 00:24:49.110 of time and there in no fucking hurry to relinquish that power. 00:24:49.110 --> 00:24:51.390 That's why no one's talking about this. 00:24:51.390 --> 00:24:59.630 Everyone's scared to be labeled an in-cell or a pervert or to be told that their animal instincts are just fucking disgusting. 00:24:59.630 --> 00:25:04.670 Everyone is scared to be labeled something, a deviant in some way. 00:25:04.670 --> 00:25:09.950 Well fortunately for all of mankind, I am not scared of such labels. 00:25:09.950 --> 00:25:11.510 Your boy Lorenzo's gotcha. 00:25:11.510 --> 00:25:14.710 And I am here today to champion the cause. 00:25:14.710 --> 00:25:17.910 I will be the poster boy, the champion. 00:25:17.910 --> 00:25:21.870 Can we just goddamn normalize flesh lights for men? 00:25:21.870 --> 00:25:24.230 I mean, look at the shit that women are doing. 00:25:24.230 --> 00:25:27.870 The cervix sandblaster 3000. 00:25:27.870 --> 00:25:36.310 With a powerful brigs and stratum motor, this fuck toy will guaranteed get your juices flowing, or your money back. 00:25:36.310 --> 00:25:42.510 Pair with optional patented rectal record attachment and daddy's home throat grabber, 00:25:42.510 --> 00:25:47.390 and your lonely nights will transform into hours of pleasure. 00:25:47.390 --> 00:25:51.870 Please use in a well ventilated area and keep away from children. 00:25:51.870 --> 00:25:55.430 But I'm a fucking pervert if I have a flesh light. 00:25:55.430 --> 00:25:56.630 How about this? 00:25:56.630 --> 00:26:00.470 Ladies, experience the newest thing in self-pleasure. 00:26:00.470 --> 00:26:03.510 The anal assault colon catastrophe. 00:26:03.510 --> 00:26:07.230 bore out your butthole with best in class low-end torque. 00:26:07.230 --> 00:26:13.990 The four-speed automatic transmission willav you scream coming all the way to your colostomy bag surgery. 00:26:13.990 --> 00:26:18.870 Our signature gyration and patented bad girl ass spanking attachment 00:26:18.870 --> 00:26:23.390 will remind you why anal assault is at the forefront of booty banging. 00:26:23.390 --> 00:26:24.390 Get yours today. 00:26:24.390 --> 00:26:28.350 But I'm a fucking in-sell if I have a fucking flesh light. 00:26:28.350 --> 00:26:29.910 Or what about this? 00:26:29.910 --> 00:26:31.510 Hey girls, listen up. 00:26:31.510 --> 00:26:34.870 I want to introduce you to the best thing I ever did for myself. 00:26:34.870 --> 00:26:38.310 When my boyfriend dumped me, I thought my love life was over. 00:26:38.310 --> 00:26:40.070 But boy was I wrong. 00:26:40.070 --> 00:26:42.030 My mom introduced me to Tyrone. 00:26:42.030 --> 00:26:45.670 And now I am here to give you the same gift she gave me. 00:26:45.670 --> 00:26:46.750 Meet Tyrone. 00:26:46.750 --> 00:26:52.270 Tyrone is a fully automated pleasure bought made by the most trusted company in the sex toy industry. 00:26:52.270 --> 00:26:53.350 Creamy fist. 00:26:53.350 --> 00:27:01.510 Tyrone will fuck, lick, suck, bite, grab, choke and pound you into tomorrow without the credit hit and thread of domestic violence. 00:27:01.510 --> 00:27:03.230 Allow me to demonstrate. 00:27:03.230 --> 00:27:06.150 Tyrone, get hard. 00:27:06.150 --> 00:27:08.510 Tyrone, tell me what you want to do to me. 00:27:08.510 --> 00:27:09.990 Bitch, I'm gonna fuck the hell out of you. 00:27:09.990 --> 00:27:11.470 I'm gonna beat the dust off that pussy. 00:27:11.470 --> 00:27:13.790 I'm gonna beat that pussy all the fucker. 00:27:13.790 --> 00:27:16.910 Go all up in your guts with this fucking dick. 00:27:16.910 --> 00:27:18.470 With this fucking dick. 00:27:18.470 --> 00:27:19.910 With this fucking dick. 00:27:19.910 --> 00:27:21.950 Tyrone, that's enough now. 00:27:21.950 --> 00:27:23.270 Put it away. 00:27:23.270 --> 00:27:25.790 Get your own Tyrone today. 00:27:25.790 --> 00:27:28.230 CreamyFist.net is accepting orders. 00:27:28.230 --> 00:27:28.950 Don't delay. 00:27:28.950 --> 00:27:34.310 But I am a filthy fucking deviant degenerate if I have a flesh light. 00:27:34.310 --> 00:27:36.590 Men, listen to me. 00:27:36.590 --> 00:27:38.870 Listen to your champion Lorenzo. 00:27:38.870 --> 00:27:41.110 Listen to me speak the truth. 00:27:41.110 --> 00:27:44.070 You don't have to fucking live this way. 00:27:44.070 --> 00:27:48.390 If you're a guy who couldn't get laid in a morgue, buy a flesh light. 00:27:48.390 --> 00:27:55.270 If you're a guy who's just getting started on your own and you're not really trying to chase women, buy a fucking flesh light. 00:27:55.270 --> 00:28:03.190 If you're a dude who is fucking predisposed to rape, buy a fucking flesh light, rape the shit out of it, 00:28:03.190 --> 00:28:05.190 and throw it in a drawer. 00:28:05.190 --> 00:28:10.350 Or if you're just a fucking guy who is sick of her fucking shit. 00:28:10.350 --> 00:28:17.470 Buy a fucking flesh light and throw that bitch out in the street and tell her to stop fucking bothering people. 00:28:17.470 --> 00:28:24.310 Listen, I know the point of us being on this earth is to procreate and carry on the bloodlines and blah, blah, blah, 00:28:24.310 --> 00:28:25.910 and all of that fucking bullshit. 00:28:25.910 --> 00:28:29.470 The bottom line is you need to change the way you think. 00:28:29.470 --> 00:28:31.750 Motherfucker, you're already alive. 00:28:31.750 --> 00:28:35.390 Okay, fuck future generations, fuck the fucking birth rate. 00:28:35.390 --> 00:28:36.550 Who gives a shit? 00:28:36.550 --> 00:28:39.150 Bill Gates has been trying to depopulate this, 00:28:39.150 --> 00:28:46.750 that Earth forever, the COVID vaccine was nothing but a fucking sterilization program, I defy you to fucking prove me wrong. 00:28:46.750 --> 00:28:48.150 So lean in. 00:28:48.150 --> 00:28:49.350 Agree. 00:28:49.350 --> 00:28:51.790 Stop going out there chasing fucking chicks. 00:28:51.790 --> 00:28:58.350 Stop changing who you are on a fundamental level in order to satisfy the opposite sex. 00:28:58.350 --> 00:29:00.030 Give it a fucking rest. 00:29:00.030 --> 00:29:02.030 Buy a fucking flesh light. 00:29:02.030 --> 00:29:04.630 And tell those bitches to take a hike. 00:29:04.630 --> 00:29:06.470 Buy a fucking flesh light. 00:29:06.510 --> 00:29:10.270 Get out from under the thumb of these fucking broads. 00:29:10.270 --> 00:29:12.150 The China is great. 00:29:12.150 --> 00:29:13.230 It really is. 00:29:13.230 --> 00:29:14.350 I fucking love it. 00:29:14.350 --> 00:29:19.750 But is it worth all of the fucking shit that comes along with it? 00:29:19.750 --> 00:29:21.030 Of course not. 00:29:21.030 --> 00:29:22.950 All right, I gotta stop. 00:29:22.950 --> 00:29:26.430 Thank you for listening to this episode of Miss Anthropor Radio. 00:29:26.430 --> 00:29:30.230 This is where I'm supposed to say like, share, and subscribe and shit like that. 00:29:30.230 --> 00:29:32.350 Well, I'm not gonna fucking do that. 00:29:32.350 --> 00:29:34.830 My only thing is I hope you dig the show. 00:29:34.830 --> 00:29:35.830 That's all I want. 00:29:35.910 --> 00:29:42.350 I want you to follow Miss Anthropor Radio version 2.0 on whatever podcast app you prefer. 00:29:42.350 --> 00:29:46.710 And when you see a new episode pop up, I want you to go, oh shit. 00:29:46.710 --> 00:29:49.750 Let's see what Lorenzo has in store for us this week. 00:29:49.750 --> 00:29:50.750 That's all I want. 00:29:50.750 --> 00:29:53.950 That's literally as ambitious as I get. 00:29:53.950 --> 00:29:56.550 All right, until next time.