Welcome to season two episode 11 of Misentrop Radio.
I'm in the midst of a celebration.
It may or may not sound like it.
I don't know if I sound jubilant to you or not, but I'm in the midst of a celebration
right now, and I'm going to tell you why.
I think if you really sat down and thought about it, you would know why, or at least be
able to surmise what there is to celebrate about on May 21st, 2026.
Well, May 21st, 2026 is the one year anniversary of one of the most important dates in human
history.
May 21st, 2025.
It's not ringing a bell, is it?
Of course not.
It's too recent to have made it into any fucking history books.
The history books will catch up.
They always do, but there's always a little bit of a lull between the significant event
and it actually getting put into the air quotes history books.
There's a little blank space there when the world is still coping and dealing with the
significance of the fucking event.
And then at some point, somebody, I don't know who says, we better go ahead and put this
in the fucking history books.
This is a red letter day for humanity, or this is a noteworthy day for humanity.
This is the day when something changed.
May 21st, 2025, something changed.
It sure as fuck did.
And it's not in the history books yet because like I said earlier, it's a little bit too
fucking recent.
May 21st, 2025 marked an event so fucking historic an event that will be pointed to by
future generations as the date when everything changed.
It's still not ringing a bell, is it?
Don't worry, I'll tell you, May 21st, 2025 was the very first episode of Missing Throat
Radio.
I know, how could you fucking forget a date like that?
Do you remember where you were when the first episode of Missing Throat Radio dropped?
I mean, I know where I was.
I'm the one who recorded it.
I was sitting down here in my fucking sweaty basement, putting the finishing touches on
what would become the first episode of a fucking masterpiece of societal commentary and absurdity.
It was the first step in what would become a body of work that is, in-vead by all.
Episode 1 of Missing Throat Radio, May 21st, 2025.
Think about it.
Where were you that day?
Write down and really think about it because your kids and your grandkids, and if you're
lucky enough to be alive, even your great-grandkids are going to come to you and say, you were alive
on May 21st, 2025.
Do you remember where you were?
And you better have a fucking answer, or you're going to look like an asshole.
It went nowhere with a fucking you that I have brought to your otherwise dull, gray, sad, fucking
tired-ass existence.
It's a celebration, bitches!
Some quick stats I put together about Missing Throat Radio over the course of the last year.
Looking back on the last year of Missing Throat Radio, season 1, Episode 1, was May 21st,
2025.
We have had 26 episodes of Missing Throat Radio over the course of the last year.
I've been kicked off of two platforms, I've been YouTube struck three times.
I have had three hosting services, I started out with Libsyn, I realized that they sucked,
I went to Spotify because it was free, and they look good on paper.
At first glance, they look really great, but then I realized that they also suck, and now
I've jumped, who I am sure at some point during the next year I will decide sucks and move
on to someone else.
I have changed microphones for fucking times, I've broken three sets of headphones, two chairs,
I've had a studio flooded by fucking raw sewage, I've lost my voice due to illness five times,
I've had three websites over the course of the last year, since May 21st, 2025.
I started out with one that wasn't very good and I didn't tell anybody about it and
I dumped it, I started another, and then I fucking rage canceled it because I couldn't figure
it out, and this is the third one, LorenzoSucks.com, I think it's probably gonna stick around
a while.
In the course of the last year I've made 11 podcaster friends, I've lost two of them
because I'm a dick, so I still have nine, and next episode we will be wrapping up season
2.
Now let's get into my favorite moments from Missing Throat Radio over the course of the
last year.
Okay, this is one of my favorite clips and I was, oh shit, here comes my dad.
Dad, what the fuck, I'm recording in here.
What the fuck, what are you talking about?
What do you mean keep the bloodlines pure?
What are you a fucking Targaryen?
It's 2025, nobody gives a fuck about that.
Shut the door, get him out of here, get him out of here.
What the fuck was that?
Hey earlier, what the fuck was that about?
I was just getting ready to introduce that.
Oh fuck, I need to calm down.
The shit is, I need to calm down.
I can't calm down.
Instead he started ranting about prostitutes, people of color, banking institutions.
It was an epic crash out, the likes the watch the boy and has never seen.
And then he fought sheep.
Holy fuck, okay.
Okay, so I can't say f***, okay.
Oh you guys are dicks, don't f*** up my f***ing celebration.
I want to f***in talk about each one of these clips before.
I will be saying the affirmation and then pausing, trusting that you will then say the
affirmation after, after me, this f***ing self-helpy shit, okay, let's f***in do it.
You, Danny. Fuck you, buddy. I don't know what kind of life you live but we're over here in this is you're in that
you are in the fight is? You
you
AaaaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAA, and about the time I'm ready to turn and take a step and go out to my trek to retrieve my chainsaw.
Stanley finally places his order, quickly pays and thankfully fucks off to the dining room.
Mind blowing, right?
Isn't your fucking mind blown right now? How could all of those wonderful, clippable fucking hall of fame moments
have happened in only one year of a fucking podcast?
It's almost like I was fucking made to do this. Like I was born to be the host of a fucking podcast
to entertain and enlighten you. I'm so good at this it's fucking crazy.
So embrace it. Embrace what you're feeling inside right now.
Stop trying to be fucking cool and just admit,
Missing Throw Prodio is the best fucking podcast you've ever heard.
You're not telling me anything that I don't already fucking know.
Take to the fucking streets. Let everybody know what's going on in your mind right now.
Missing Throw Prodio is peak audio entertainment. It's what everyone wishes they could do
but they simply don't have the fucking skill, imagination or fucking moxie.
That's right, moxie. They don't have the fucking moxie to do what I do over here.
There's not enough celebrating of me. I mean, if we just want to be honest here,
if we want to just put it out in the open for everyone to fucking understand,
there's not enough celebrating of me. Okay. I'm celebrating myself right now
and I'm bringing you along with me. But to be completely honest,
we celebrate people in our society who haven't done anything remotely as cool
as what I've done over the last year with Missing Throw Prodio.
Why the fuck is that? Is it because I don't have great tits? I can work on that.
Is it because I don't have long flowing fucking locks? I can work on that too.
Is it because I don't fucking smell great all the time? I can fucking change that too.
What do I have to do for you to have you celebrate me as loudly as I'm celebrating me right now?
It comes down to talent and moxie. I'll say it again. Moxie.
I'm not even sure what that word means, but I know that I have it in droves.
You know, now that I think about it, I don't think celebrating me in the streets is going to be enough to satisfy me.
My body of work deserves more than that. I deserve my own religion, the church of Lorenzo.
That's what this podcast should be called. It should be renamed.
I should drop the Missing Throw Prodio handle. It's a big fucking word, Missing Throw.
Nobody knows what it means and they sure as fuck aren't trying to spell it,
people are inherently lazy. And I think that one of the reasons that I have such trouble getting fucking discovered in people's algorithms is not because of the fucking content.
and it's not because of the fucking profanity and the strong sexual nature and some of the fucking episodes.
I think it's because I chose to use the word Missing Throw.
I chose a fucking high IQ word and frankly most people aren't high IQ.
You clearly are because you found this show. I need to rebrand Missing Throw Prodio has something else entirely.
Why not the church of Lorenzo? It's actually a really good idea.
What if I change my website from Lorenzo sucks.com to the church of Loren
segment to you know I talk a lot of shit on Missing Throw Prodio.
Like that ridiculous fucking victory lap a second ago for making it an entire year as a fucking podcaster.
There are very few things as a matter of fact and serious is a fucking relative term.
Even the shit I'm serious about I'm not super fucking serious about.
But on this Memorial Day weekend I think it is important to thank all the fucking veterans out there.
What is it? What's the saying? Some all gave some but some gave all or something like that.
You know don't fucking forget the people who went over there in defense of your freedom and didn't come home.
Or in the case of a rather large group of veterans. They did come home but they never really came home.
What's the stat? Every 22 seconds a veteran takes their own life.
I don't know I don't do research for this show and I'm not going to start now.
But I did something recently that I don't normally do I reached out to a veteran's organization.
It's a small organization called code of vets code of vets ran by a lady named Gretchen Smith.
And one thing about that particular veterans organization that really kind of fucking resonated with me is the operating cost.
Historically speaking now she's going to tell you 15% is her goal but historically speaking 2% has been their operating cost.
So for every dollar you give 98 cents of that dollar goes directly to help veterans and what they do.
They kind of bridge the gap between what the VA is actually able to do and what they probably should be able to do.
If you have a disabled veteran or a veteran who's struggling to get on their fucking feet or they're about to lose their fucking house or they're struggling with medical bills or they need some help with getting therapy and whatever they reach out to code of vets they go through a vetting process there and then Gretchen actually gives them the money that they need in order to get the fucking leg up.
So I reached out to her and I just I just asked I said you know I really like your charity I really like what you guys do.
However, I understand the type of fucking show I do here on Missing Throwing Radio sometimes I even offend myself and if you don't want me talking about your veterans organization because of the fucking shit that I do on Missing Throwing Radio I totally get it.
And she said no absolutely not you know mention us all you like she needs all the help she can get.
So check out code of vets Google them code of vets and give if you can or if you can't it is what it is.
You know I talked about the website that I just put up and I've never fucking really had any interest in doing merchandise for the fucking podcast I just it's not something that I want to do I matter of fact I kind of fucking make fun of podcasters who do that.
Like your fucking dog shit show is so important that you think people actually want your fucking logo on a coffee mug.
But regarding charities like code of vets and till Valhalla project if I thought that people would actually fucking buy the fucking t-shirts and coffee mugs and shit like that with the Missing Throwing Radio logo on them.
I would put the shit on the website just so I could give 100% of the proceeds to those particular charities till Valhalla and code of vets.
I don't know I gotta fucking think about it. It's not something that I really want to do to me regardless of what you heard on that fucking first bit my fucking victory lap to me.
That is the fucking height of arrogance is is podcast merchandising and I get it.
I love to see the Missing Throwing Radio on a' fucking coffee mug. I love the thought of somebody walking up and down the street wearing a fucking church of Lorenzo T-shirt or some shit like that.
That would be fucking kick ass and I even have some here that I've thought about making available to people and just you know sending them out.
I haven't done it as of yet because I don't know I feel weird about it.
I don't know if that makes sense it probably didn't make any sense at all but it occurred to me to put podcast merch on fucking Lorenzo sucks.com with a little blurb there that says if you buy this fucking hoodie.
First of all, I never see the money it goes directly to the fucking print shop who's gonna make the shit and send it to you and then every fucking dime of profit I guess you could say would go directly to code of vets.
I would have to figure out a way to set that up I don't I don't need your money but code of vets until Valhalla project do.
So it's been my experience dealing with charitable organizations in the past that people are more likely to give if they get something in return.
So if you're buying something that you already want like a fucking dog shit Missing Throwing Radio sweatshirt it would make you feel a little bit better about the purchase if you knew that I'm not gonna make any money on it.
It's all going directly to fucking Gretchen with code of vets or or till Valhalla project and or I should say that's all I wanted to say I hope you observed Memorial Day in the way in which it was meant to be observed and don't forget about the people on Memorial Day weekend.
Who literally gave their lives in defense of your right to fucking not work swipe that ebt card dabble in methamphetamine and show your ass hold of people on the internet happy fucking one year pot of versore to me follow subscribe like share do all of that stuff and go to Lorenzo sucks dot com and check out my fucking website it's costing me money.
Alright until next time.