WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.800 Welcome to season two episode 11 of Misentrop Radio. 00:00:04.800 --> 00:00:08.220 I'm in the midst of a celebration. 00:00:08.220 --> 00:00:10.600 It may or may not sound like it. 00:00:10.600 --> 00:00:16.560 I don't know if I sound jubilant to you or not, but I'm in the midst of a celebration 00:00:16.560 --> 00:00:18.680 right now, and I'm going to tell you why. 00:00:18.680 --> 00:00:23.880 I think if you really sat down and thought about it, you would know why, or at least be 00:00:23.880 --> 00:00:31.320 able to surmise what there is to celebrate about on May 21st, 2026. 00:00:31.320 --> 00:00:38.360 Well, May 21st, 2026 is the one year anniversary of one of the most important dates in human 00:00:38.360 --> 00:00:39.800 history. 00:00:39.800 --> 00:00:43.640 May 21st, 2025. 00:00:43.640 --> 00:00:45.280 It's not ringing a bell, is it? 00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:46.280 Of course not. 00:00:46.280 --> 00:00:51.720 It's too recent to have made it into any fucking history books. 00:00:51.720 --> 00:00:53.760 The history books will catch up. 00:00:53.760 --> 00:00:59.480 They always do, but there's always a little bit of a lull between the significant event 00:00:59.480 --> 00:01:04.360 and it actually getting put into the air quotes history books. 00:01:04.360 --> 00:01:10.080 There's a little blank space there when the world is still coping and dealing with the 00:01:10.080 --> 00:01:13.200 significance of the fucking event. 00:01:13.200 --> 00:01:18.160 And then at some point, somebody, I don't know who says, we better go ahead and put this 00:01:18.160 --> 00:01:20.000 in the fucking history books. 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:25.960 This is a red letter day for humanity, or this is a noteworthy day for humanity. 00:01:25.960 --> 00:01:29.840 This is the day when something changed. 00:01:29.840 --> 00:01:33.440 May 21st, 2025, something changed. 00:01:33.440 --> 00:01:35.280 It sure as fuck did. 00:01:35.280 --> 00:01:39.580 And it's not in the history books yet because like I said earlier, it's a little bit too 00:01:39.580 --> 00:01:41.000 fucking recent. 00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:48.520 May 21st, 2025 marked an event so fucking historic an event that will be pointed to by 00:01:48.520 --> 00:01:52.920 future generations as the date when everything changed. 00:01:52.920 --> 00:01:55.280 It's still not ringing a bell, is it? 00:01:55.280 --> 00:02:03.700 Don't worry, I'll tell you, May 21st, 2025 was the very first episode of Missing Throat 00:02:03.700 --> 00:02:05.200 Radio. 00:02:05.200 --> 00:02:09.040 I know, how could you fucking forget a date like that? 00:02:09.040 --> 00:02:14.480 Do you remember where you were when the first episode of Missing Throat Radio dropped? 00:02:14.480 --> 00:02:16.000 I mean, I know where I was. 00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:17.360 I'm the one who recorded it. 00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:22.600 I was sitting down here in my fucking sweaty basement, putting the finishing touches on 00:02:22.600 --> 00:02:30.040 what would become the first episode of a fucking masterpiece of societal commentary and absurdity. 00:02:30.040 --> 00:02:36.440 It was the first step in what would become a body of work that is, in-vead by all. 00:02:36.440 --> 00:02:42.160 Episode 1 of Missing Throat Radio, May 21st, 2025. 00:02:42.160 --> 00:02:43.320 Think about it. 00:02:43.320 --> 00:02:45.160 Where were you that day? 00:02:45.160 --> 00:02:48.640 Write down and really think about it because your kids and your grandkids, and if you're 00:02:48.640 --> 00:02:55.640 lucky enough to be alive, even your great-grandkids are going to come to you and say, you were alive 00:02:55.640 --> 00:02:57.800 on May 21st, 2025. 00:02:57.800 --> 00:03:00.040 Do you remember where you were? 00:03:00.040 --> 00:03:04.620 And you better have a fucking answer, or you're going to look like an asshole. 00:03:15.160 --> 00:03:21.900 It went nowhere with a fucking you that I have brought to your otherwise dull, gray, sad, fucking 00:03:21.900 --> 00:03:24.100 tired-ass existence. 00:03:24.100 --> 00:03:49.470 It's a celebration, bitches! 00:03:49.470 --> 00:03:54.650 Some quick stats I put together about Missing Throat Radio over the course of the last year. 00:03:54.650 --> 00:04:01.410 Looking back on the last year of Missing Throat Radio, season 1, Episode 1, was May 21st, 00:04:01.410 --> 00:04:02.410 2025. 00:04:02.410 --> 00:04:07.970 We have had 26 episodes of Missing Throat Radio over the course of the last year. 00:04:07.970 --> 00:04:12.570 I've been kicked off of two platforms, I've been YouTube struck three times. 00:04:12.570 --> 00:04:17.770 I have had three hosting services, I started out with Libsyn, I realized that they sucked, 00:04:17.770 --> 00:04:22.170 I went to Spotify because it was free, and they look good on paper. 00:04:22.170 --> 00:04:26.690 At first glance, they look really great, but then I realized that they also suck, and now 00:04:26.690 --> 00:04:33.410 I've jumped, who I am sure at some point during the next year I will decide sucks and move 00:04:33.410 --> 00:04:34.970 on to someone else. 00:04:34.970 --> 00:04:41.650 I have changed microphones for fucking times, I've broken three sets of headphones, two chairs, 00:04:41.650 --> 00:04:47.650 I've had a studio flooded by fucking raw sewage, I've lost my voice due to illness five times, 00:04:47.650 --> 00:04:53.130 I've had three websites over the course of the last year, since May 21st, 2025. 00:04:53.130 --> 00:04:56.690 I started out with one that wasn't very good and I didn't tell anybody about it and 00:04:56.690 --> 00:05:01.010 I dumped it, I started another, and then I fucking rage canceled it because I couldn't figure 00:05:01.010 --> 00:05:06.730 it out, and this is the third one, LorenzoSucks.com, I think it's probably gonna stick around 00:05:06.730 --> 00:05:07.730 a while. 00:05:07.730 --> 00:05:11.690 In the course of the last year I've made 11 podcaster friends, I've lost two of them 00:05:11.690 --> 00:05:16.850 because I'm a dick, so I still have nine, and next episode we will be wrapping up season 00:05:16.850 --> 00:05:17.850 2. 00:05:17.850 --> 00:05:21.850 Now let's get into my favorite moments from Missing Throat Radio over the course of the 00:05:21.850 --> 00:05:22.850 last year. 00:05:22.930 --> 00:05:29.790 Okay, this is one of my favorite clips and I was, oh shit, here comes my dad. 00:05:29.790 --> 00:05:31.350 Dad, what the fuck, I'm recording in here. 00:05:31.350 --> 00:05:39.550 What the fuck, what are you talking about? 00:05:39.550 --> 00:05:44.830 What do you mean keep the bloodlines pure? 00:05:44.830 --> 00:05:54.310 What are you a fucking Targaryen? 00:05:54.310 --> 00:06:02.150 It's 2025, nobody gives a fuck about that. 00:06:02.150 --> 00:06:05.150 Shut the door, get him out of here, get him out of here. 00:06:05.150 --> 00:06:06.630 What the fuck was that? 00:06:06.630 --> 00:06:08.510 Hey earlier, what the fuck was that about? 00:06:08.510 --> 00:06:10.430 I was just getting ready to introduce that. 00:06:10.430 --> 00:06:13.270 Oh fuck, I need to calm down. 00:06:13.270 --> 00:06:16.870 The shit is, I need to calm down. 00:06:16.870 --> 00:06:20.390 I can't calm down. 00:06:20.390 --> 00:06:29.990 Instead he started ranting about prostitutes, people of color, banking institutions. 00:06:29.990 --> 00:06:37.190 It was an epic crash out, the likes the watch the boy and has never seen. 00:06:37.190 --> 00:06:49.100 And then he fought sheep. 00:06:49.100 --> 00:06:50.900 Holy fuck, okay. 00:06:50.900 --> 00:06:55.560 Okay, so I can't say f***, okay. 00:06:55.560 --> 00:07:01.840 Oh you guys are dicks, don't f*** up my f***ing celebration. 00:07:01.840 --> 00:07:06.240 I want to f***in talk about each one of these clips before. 00:07:06.240 --> 00:07:11.560 I will be saying the affirmation and then pausing, trusting that you will then say the 00:07:11.560 --> 00:07:19.240 affirmation after, after me, this f***ing self-helpy shit, okay, let's f***in do it. 00:09:13.910 --> 00:09:18.910 You, Danny. Fuck you, buddy. I don't know what kind of life you live but we're over here in this is you're in that 00:09:18.910 --> 00:09:38.840 you are in the fight is? You 00:10:19.990 --> 00:10:28.490 you 00:10:28.490 --> 00:10:31.670 AaaaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAA, and about the time I'm ready to turn and take a step and go out to my trek to retrieve my chainsaw. 00:10:31.670 --> 00:10:38.430 Stanley finally places his order, quickly pays and thankfully fucks off to the dining room. 00:10:38.430 --> 00:10:42.600 Mind blowing, right? 00:10:42.600 --> 00:10:49.700 Isn't your fucking mind blown right now? How could all of those wonderful, clippable fucking hall of fame moments 00:10:49.700 --> 00:10:53.800 have happened in only one year of a fucking podcast? 00:10:53.800 --> 00:11:00.560 It's almost like I was fucking made to do this. Like I was born to be the host of a fucking podcast 00:11:00.560 --> 00:11:04.960 to entertain and enlighten you. I'm so good at this it's fucking crazy. 00:11:04.960 --> 00:11:09.000 So embrace it. Embrace what you're feeling inside right now. 00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:12.100 Stop trying to be fucking cool and just admit, 00:11:12.100 --> 00:11:16.300 Missing Throw Prodio is the best fucking podcast you've ever heard. 00:11:16.300 --> 00:11:19.720 You're not telling me anything that I don't already fucking know. 00:11:19.720 --> 00:11:24.180 Take to the fucking streets. Let everybody know what's going on in your mind right now. 00:11:24.180 --> 00:11:29.800 Missing Throw Prodio is peak audio entertainment. It's what everyone wishes they could do 00:11:29.800 --> 00:11:35.680 but they simply don't have the fucking skill, imagination or fucking moxie. 00:11:35.680 --> 00:11:40.840 That's right, moxie. They don't have the fucking moxie to do what I do over here. 00:11:40.840 --> 00:11:45.540 There's not enough celebrating of me. I mean, if we just want to be honest here, 00:11:45.540 --> 00:11:49.340 if we want to just put it out in the open for everyone to fucking understand, 00:11:49.340 --> 00:11:54.780 there's not enough celebrating of me. Okay. I'm celebrating myself right now 00:11:54.780 --> 00:11:58.940 and I'm bringing you along with me. But to be completely honest, 00:11:58.940 --> 00:12:05.260 we celebrate people in our society who haven't done anything remotely as cool 00:12:05.260 --> 00:12:09.440 as what I've done over the last year with Missing Throw Prodio. 00:12:09.540 --> 00:12:14.140 Why the fuck is that? Is it because I don't have great tits? I can work on that. 00:12:14.140 --> 00:12:19.040 Is it because I don't have long flowing fucking locks? I can work on that too. 00:12:19.040 --> 00:12:24.240 Is it because I don't fucking smell great all the time? I can fucking change that too. 00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:32.040 What do I have to do for you to have you celebrate me as loudly as I'm celebrating me right now? 00:12:32.040 --> 00:12:36.240 It comes down to talent and moxie. I'll say it again. Moxie. 00:12:36.340 --> 00:12:41.140 I'm not even sure what that word means, but I know that I have it in droves. 00:12:41.140 --> 00:12:46.140 You know, now that I think about it, I don't think celebrating me in the streets is going to be enough to satisfy me. 00:12:46.140 --> 00:12:51.640 My body of work deserves more than that. I deserve my own religion, the church of Lorenzo. 00:12:51.640 --> 00:12:55.140 That's what this podcast should be called. It should be renamed. 00:12:55.140 --> 00:12:59.640 I should drop the Missing Throw Prodio handle. It's a big fucking word, Missing Throw. 00:12:59.640 --> 00:13:03.040 Nobody knows what it means and they sure as fuck aren't trying to spell it, 00:13:03.040 --> 00:13:12.640 people are inherently lazy. And I think that one of the reasons that I have such trouble getting fucking discovered in people's algorithms is not because of the fucking content. 00:13:12.640 --> 00:13:18.440 and it's not because of the fucking profanity and the strong sexual nature and some of the fucking episodes. 00:13:18.440 --> 00:13:23.440 I think it's because I chose to use the word Missing Throw. 00:13:23.440 --> 00:13:28.640 I chose a fucking high IQ word and frankly most people aren't high IQ. 00:13:28.640 --> 00:13:36.040 You clearly are because you found this show. I need to rebrand Missing Throw Prodio has something else entirely. 00:13:36.040 --> 00:13:40.240 Why not the church of Lorenzo? It's actually a really good idea. 00:13:40.240 --> 00:13:54.940 What if I change my website from Lorenzo sucks.com to the church of Loren 00:14:24.940 --> 00:14:30.340 segment to you know I talk a lot of shit on Missing Throw Prodio. 00:14:30.340 --> 00:14:38.540 Like that ridiculous fucking victory lap a second ago for making it an entire year as a fucking podcaster. 00:14:38.540 --> 00:14:44.540 There are very few things as a matter of fact and serious is a fucking relative term. 00:14:44.540 --> 00:14:48.540 Even the shit I'm serious about I'm not super fucking serious about. 00:14:48.540 --> 00:14:54.040 But on this Memorial Day weekend I think it is important to thank all the fucking veterans out there. 00:14:54.140 --> 00:15:00.640 What is it? What's the saying? Some all gave some but some gave all or something like that. 00:15:00.640 --> 00:15:07.140 You know don't fucking forget the people who went over there in defense of your freedom and didn't come home. 00:15:07.140 --> 00:15:14.640 Or in the case of a rather large group of veterans. They did come home but they never really came home. 00:15:14.640 --> 00:15:18.640 What's the stat? Every 22 seconds a veteran takes their own life. 00:15:18.640 --> 00:15:22.040 I don't know I don't do research for this show and I'm not going to start now. 00:15:22.140 --> 00:15:28.240 But I did something recently that I don't normally do I reached out to a veteran's organization. 00:15:28.240 --> 00:15:35.940 It's a small organization called code of vets code of vets ran by a lady named Gretchen Smith. 00:15:35.940 --> 00:15:44.840 And one thing about that particular veterans organization that really kind of fucking resonated with me is the operating cost. 00:15:44.940 --> 00:15:54.240 Historically speaking now she's going to tell you 15% is her goal but historically speaking 2% has been their operating cost. 00:15:54.240 --> 00:16:00.240 So for every dollar you give 98 cents of that dollar goes directly to help veterans and what they do. 00:16:00.240 --> 00:16:08.740 They kind of bridge the gap between what the VA is actually able to do and what they probably should be able to do. 00:16:08.840 --> 00:16:31.340 If you have a disabled veteran or a veteran who's struggling to get on their fucking feet or they're about to lose their fucking house or they're struggling with medical bills or they need some help with getting therapy and whatever they reach out to code of vets they go through a vetting process there and then Gretchen actually gives them the money that they need in order to get the fucking leg up. 00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:38.040 So I reached out to her and I just I just asked I said you know I really like your charity I really like what you guys do. 00:16:38.040 --> 00:16:54.440 However, I understand the type of fucking show I do here on Missing Throwing Radio sometimes I even offend myself and if you don't want me talking about your veterans organization because of the fucking shit that I do on Missing Throwing Radio I totally get it. 00:16:54.440 --> 00:17:00.240 And she said no absolutely not you know mention us all you like she needs all the help she can get. 00:17:00.340 --> 00:17:08.140 So check out code of vets Google them code of vets and give if you can or if you can't it is what it is. 00:17:08.140 --> 00:17:25.640 You know I talked about the website that I just put up and I've never fucking really had any interest in doing merchandise for the fucking podcast I just it's not something that I want to do I matter of fact I kind of fucking make fun of podcasters who do that. 00:17:25.640 --> 00:17:32.040 Like your fucking dog shit show is so important that you think people actually want your fucking logo on a coffee mug. 00:17:32.040 --> 00:17:46.040 But regarding charities like code of vets and till Valhalla project if I thought that people would actually fucking buy the fucking t-shirts and coffee mugs and shit like that with the Missing Throwing Radio logo on them. 00:17:46.040 --> 00:17:56.040 I would put the shit on the website just so I could give 100% of the proceeds to those particular charities till Valhalla and code of vets. 00:17:56.040 --> 00:18:06.440 I don't know I gotta fucking think about it. It's not something that I really want to do to me regardless of what you heard on that fucking first bit my fucking victory lap to me. 00:18:06.440 --> 00:18:14.940 That is the fucking height of arrogance is is podcast merchandising and I get it. 00:18:16.040 --> 00:18:27.940 I love to see the Missing Throwing Radio on a' fucking coffee mug. I love the thought of somebody walking up and down the street wearing a fucking church of Lorenzo T-shirt or some shit like that. 00:18:27.940 --> 00:18:35.940 That would be fucking kick ass and I even have some here that I've thought about making available to people and just you know sending them out. 00:18:35.940 --> 00:18:40.940 I haven't done it as of yet because I don't know I feel weird about it. 00:18:41.840 --> 00:18:52.840 I don't know if that makes sense it probably didn't make any sense at all but it occurred to me to put podcast merch on fucking Lorenzo sucks.com with a little blurb there that says if you buy this fucking hoodie. 00:18:52.840 --> 00:19:07.340 First of all, I never see the money it goes directly to the fucking print shop who's gonna make the shit and send it to you and then every fucking dime of profit I guess you could say would go directly to code of vets. 00:19:07.340 --> 00:19:14.340 I would have to figure out a way to set that up I don't I don't need your money but code of vets until Valhalla project do. 00:19:14.340 --> 00:19:23.940 So it's been my experience dealing with charitable organizations in the past that people are more likely to give if they get something in return. 00:19:23.940 --> 00:19:35.240 So if you're buying something that you already want like a fucking dog shit Missing Throwing Radio sweatshirt it would make you feel a little bit better about the purchase if you knew that I'm not gonna make any money on it. 00:19:35.240 --> 00:19:54.240 It's all going directly to fucking Gretchen with code of vets or or till Valhalla project and or I should say that's all I wanted to say I hope you observed Memorial Day in the way in which it was meant to be observed and don't forget about the people on Memorial Day weekend. 00:19:54.240 --> 00:20:17.740 Who literally gave their lives in defense of your right to fucking not work swipe that ebt card dabble in methamphetamine and show your ass hold of people on the internet happy fucking one year pot of versore to me follow subscribe like share do all of that stuff and go to Lorenzo sucks dot com and check out my fucking website it's costing me money. 00:20:17.740 --> 00:20:19.740 Alright until next time.